I will try to make this short, so bare with me. I am 19 years old and a mother of a beautiful 4 year old son. So yes, this made me a mom at 15. Neither the father or I planned this, but now, 5 years later,I am undecided. He is in Japan,a Marine,and I am in a serious relationship with his best friend. (Yeah, I know what you're thinking...) Anyways, I love the man I am with,but have mixed feelings with my son's father. We both love eachother, but agree it's only b/c of our son. I'm afraid once he comes home on leave in Nov. I will develop deeper feelings, and my current boyfriend is worried as well. (Can't blame him.) I am so torn inside knowing I have caused pain to both of them, and don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin the happiness I have now, but don't want to miss the chance of my life either, possibly making the biggest mistake of my life. Any advice? And please don't tell me to go on Jerry Springer.
2006-09-18 21:28:52 · 14 answers · asked by Just Me 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Normally i will say tht we human make mistakes, well in this case there is no mistake, it seems like you like to play with fire, you'll see the inferno soon, not only it will affect you, it will affect all of the players involved (your husband, your son, you, the best friend).
I personally call this a 'betrayal', and this 'betrayal' is from your side, worst of all 'betrayal' together with his best friend.
Person/s to be blamed here: You and The best friend.
I will not comment more....
2006-09-18 21:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jendralus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have placed your self in a very wrong place. Before starting a new relationship is best to end one before you start another. Any way. You wrote that you . we both love each other, but agree its only b/c of your son. So why would you want a relationship that isn't because of the two of you. don't use your child. If you are happy, then be happy, You will know the minute you see the father again and you will do whats best for you and your son.
You both will continue to love your child and continue to be honest with yourself and the father.
good luck. you will know
2006-09-18 21:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you love the guy you are with, and that you only love the child's father because of the child. So why do you think you are going to change your mind when he comes home?
If you really love the man you're currently with, then you're not going to be swayed by someone else. Wait and see how you feel when he arrives. If you do end up feeling confused, then you probably don't really love either of them.
2006-09-18 21:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You need to be care full that you don't lose them both. If you truly love the best-friend you don't have anything to worry about as love conkers all. however also absence does make the heart grow stronger! Go with your heart but try and be honest with them both so no one gets too seriously hurt. you didn't say if your boyfriend(baby's father) knows about the 2 of you? Its probably best to tell him as soon as you can so he doesn't feel cheated. Good luck and don't worry, I believe it is possible to be in LOVE with 2 people as well! You really do need to decide sooner rather than later and please remember its your decision and no one elses!
2006-09-18 21:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by blahblahblah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were young when you had the child and if you still feel for the father then thats who you should be with . as the other man will never love you`re child as its real father will,i know now its hard but ,also are you sure the real father will stay this time,,,if not then maybe the other man will ,,,what a mess.,,,but you must do what ur heart tells you to do ,but think of your child as well ,,,,,it will affect the child more than you .
2006-09-18 21:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should stay with the guy you got now. you say that you love him but have mixed feelings for your son's father. well your feelings for your son's father is natural under the circumstances. but you wouldn't want to ruin what you have with your partner. let's just say that you break it off with your partner and decide to go back to your son's father and things don't work out. what then?? is your partner gonna want you back after you broke up with him to be with another man? and also were you broken up before he left? if so think of the reason you broke up.. i don't know if i've actually helped or made things harder for you to decide. but if i were you i would stay with the guy you have now.
2006-09-18 21:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun ,I understand that you were verry young and had some big changes in your life at such a early age! this is a choice you will have to make. think to yourself ( what would make me happy
and is best for my son). your the only one that knows what makes you happy! but either way you go your always gonna wonder what if. so just give yourself some room and plenty of time to think it all over.
2006-09-18 21:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sheena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you've still got a thing for your child's father? I am still not sure why u have not explored the relationship....is it cos of distance? U have to evaluate whom u love better. However, if I were you, I wld stick with ur current boyfriend - who seems to love you a lot.
2006-09-18 21:32:21 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're married to the father of your child then stick with him, otherwise you're free to choose either. If youplay your cards right, you may be able to have them both in your life, in a different way!
2006-09-18 21:35:38 · answer #9 · answered by fidainc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell the guy the truth that u already have a husband
i know that'll hurt but if u do this ur kids wwill be happier!
2006-09-18 21:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by punk'n'pretty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋