2006-09-18 20:55:06 · 10 answers · asked by tomakewat? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do people play couples tennis? Think of it this way and you will get the answer!
2006-09-18 22:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's like trying to describe the ocean. If you've never seen it you just will not fully understand.
That said, I can't answer for everyone, but we started swinging because some fantasies just require more than two people. LOL And my wife wanted to explore her bi-side more and the chances of finding a bi-woman to play with in the swinger lifestyle is much greater then finding a single bi-female outside of it. So, playing with couples was the logical solution. From there we discovered we like to do both MFM and FMF threesomes, too.
When we started there was nothing wrong in our marraige, sex between us was not boring, we weren't bored with each other. None of the things those on the outside think. For us it was all about fantasies. Threesomes, moresomes, etc. Some people like to fish (I do too) and some like to watch their spouse have sex with someone else. I have to say my wife is my favorite pornstar. ;-) She says the same of me.
The side benefit is the social aspect of it. We go out more then we used to. We have made lots of good friends (yes, there is more to it then sex... allot more). Our relationship has gotten even stronger since we've removed petty jealousy from it. I trust her implicitly in everything, not just fidelity. If you can tell your spouse you think so-and-so is hot and you want to have sex with them, think how easy it is to talk about money and other relationship matters.
One misconception is that one partner wanted to do it and coerced or manipulated the other into it. Not the case at all. You don't see them in the lifestyle for long. Maybe one or two parties. Persuasion never works, it develops resentment in the relationship. Those are the relationships that have the same problem in everything they do, the dominant member is always manipulating the other. These relationships are doomed regardless of whether they swing or not, swinging may just hasten the end.
In successful swinging couples one or the other may bring it up, but it is something they both want. Usually they both have been thinking about it, or fantasizing about it and just never had the courage to mention it to their spouse.
I would also say that swingers are more serious about their relationship then the general population (studies of the lifestyle have shown this to be the case). Moreover, I think swingers generally have a better idea of what a relationship means since when you take jealousy out of the picture you focus on what really makes a relationship last.
I've said here before that the average couple has sex 2 or 3 times a week, the average sex session lasting less than an hour. So lets say that 3 hours a week are spent having sex with your spouse, what about the other 165 hours? What is there to keep you together as a couple in those other 165 hours? Taking sex as the basis for the relationship out of the equation clearly defines those other 165 hours a week. Sex is the icing on the cake. If the cake underneath doesn't have the ingredients to make it solid, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling.
Hope that helped a little. For more answers check-out the link below.
2006-09-20 10:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Kim B!! They aren't serious about the person they are in the "RELATIONSHIP" with. if I was swinging with my significant other...and we were having sex, I would start to wonder which one of his last swinger friends is he thinking of as he is doing me? Why am I not enough for him?? I'm adventurous... I love sex games..kinky sex but on a boyfriend girlfriend level not the guy at the gas station!.... I recently met a guy that i'm very interested in dating just us mind you, and he brought up swapping after just one public dinner date... I'm NOT a prude but REALLY??? you haven't even given "US" a chance yet and already your looking to go bang your friends wife.... WOW
2016-01-14 05:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times its curiosity, sometimes one partner needs more sex than the other, others like the buzz it gives them, all in all there is not one single answer. However it seems as if there is mainly one common thing that only one partner wanted too and the other partner was persuaded to take part by them.
2006-09-18 21:15:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ash 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they swing to spice up their relationsip/or marriage-sex is that just sex it dosent make a relationship. it gives you the freedom to explore your sexy side because you are free to be uninhibited with someone you dont share your life with.as long as you are responsible ans SAFE. hope i helped tc always----nonners
2006-09-18 21:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by nonners1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
variety, spice things up, able to be with others on a level par with each other with common consent and no deceit. not right for many but for some it seems to work
2006-09-18 21:11:23 · answer #6 · answered by robug 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
variety, and adventure, its like cheating with permission. few can handle it due to jealousy, but those who can have the best marriages that can be found
2006-09-18 23:20:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
they swing because they're not serious and doesn't really know what a relationship means... especially marriage for married ones...
Pity....
2006-09-18 22:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by kim B 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't know, because they want to?
2006-09-18 21:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Butterfly Kisses♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
variety!
2006-09-18 21:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋