How do i get my 5 year old to be good in school and on the bus?

Question

He is an only child that has never been in a structured environment. Iv'e had his teacher call me twice about his behavior, the phys ed. teacher once. He has also been written up for numerous reasons on the bus. He has been explained the rules of the bus and in school. The punishments have been, spanking, taking away his playstation games, no computer time, yelled at. I just dont know what to do, if he is written up on the bus 1 more time he will probably be kicked off, and I have no other way of getting him to school. Today it was for spitting on the girl he has to sit next to , an older student that, from what I've been told, has to sit next to him to help control him. The ride home does take about an hour. So he had his 300+ Hot wheels away that he dearly LOVES. Im hoping this works, but any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance! Oh and by the way no he dosent have ADD, or ADHD nor is he hyper active.To those that are thinking I didnt provide dicipline at home trust me I do. He is not allowed to act that way at home and gets punished accordingly. He is a little spoiled, but i only have 1 child, so why not!! He is a very smart child and usually catches on very quickly, but when he is not with me he just dosent listen. And on the structured environment issue, what i mean by that is he never had an assigned seat, hes never been away from me from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm everyday, hes never had a certain time to do things, with the exception of going to bed. Maybe it will just take him longer to adjust to all that. He is a young five, b-day was august 9th and he started school august 10th. Preschool would have difinatley helped.

For the first 2 that responded to my question your both idiots, he has to go to school and it starts at the age of 5. And for jess i guess you didnt read the whole thing i do dicipline him at home ok after reading a few more of your answers im sorry i asked!!!

REALLY FOLKS I NEED ADVICE NOT PUT DOWNS AND YOU ALL TELLING ME ITS MY FAULT!!!!! Maybe it isnt me who needs to chill maybe its the teachers and the busdriver. Good God i realize hes only 5 and that 5 year olds are rambunctious and usually do what they want but in these situations, as im sure MOST of you can understand, he cannot. he has to follow the rules, just like all the other kids

Answer 1

If you have tried this already you can tell him that now that he's a big boy he can help you out with some house work. Sort the laundry, let him clean windows with vinegar and water, do some dishes (non-breakable) dust...etc

Also you might want to get him into extra curricular activities like indoor floor hockey team after school.

This might get the extra energy out of the little guy and he would sleep well afterwords too.

Answer 2

A five year old on a bus for an hour?!!!!!! My guess is that he's acting out some anxiety. He's also probably really tired and hungry by the time he gets home. Impulse control is very difficult when a kid is tired. That's a lot of stress for a little guy to deal with. If there was any way you could get him off that bus I would do it. Even keeping him out of school for a year. Is home schooling a possibility?

Answer 3

Start with a roll of duct tape!!! Just kidding. Not to be rude, but you built the monster now you have to tame it. Stop making excuses for him. If you spoiled the child, you molded him exactly how you wanted or wanted to let him be. I believe all of us were... ADD, ADHDD, High strung, Squirming , Spitting , Kicking, Biting, Couch Monkeys. Until the adults in our life taught us to be real human beings. You are very explicit on how he was groomed. I have horses that are so spoiled that if you don't bring them a treat, they will nip and bite and kick to beat all hell. So....to stop that B.S. they only get a treat as a reward for good behavior. When my 1000 lb babies act like a 50lb child, they get squat! Our love and guidance is all they need... period. Treats and special food is what they get as a reward. As For JR. .....Computer?300+Hot wheels?PlayStation? @ 5 years old?, What in the world do you expect? Put that crap in the closet and let him be a damn kid!!! Can he catch a ball? can he ride a bike?If he can't do what you got to do as a child he's gettin ripped off mom. You have to own this behavior and you have to change it.
Good luck , You can do it. Sorry to sound so harsh, but read this a couple of times and you might catch my drift.
He was smart enough to learn this manipulative behavior, he'll be smart enough to learn it's wrong.

DONT GO ALL POOR ME ON US....Was it Dr. Phil that said.." Ask not what our children can do for us, ask what we can do for our children"? Forget about me,me,me, concentrate on the kid kid kid.

Answer 4

you said yourself he lacks a structured enviornment. this is probably 90% of your problem.

you need to discipline him immediately for every bad thing he does. dont let some things slide because you're tired or dont want to over punish; he'll just get the idea that there arent alway consequences.

you NEED to make sure he listens to you. if he doesnt listen and respect his mother, he certainly isnt going to listen to his: bus driver, teacher, babysitter, etc. etc. etc.

you might want to try taking him to a doctor. for him to act up this much at such a young age, there might be something physically / emotionally / mentally wrong with him.


**edited / added**

i am sorry questioner, but if you didn't want to hear truthful answers, perhaps you shouldn't have asked questions.

you said yourself that "he's never been in a structured enviornment," he doesn't listen to the rules of the bus or school, he need older kids to "help control him," and you spoil him.

it sounds like 1) you need to tell him "no" more often. and 2) the kid has a behavioral disorder. you need to send him to a doctor and get him a thourough check up. didn't school just start up a few months ago?.. and he has already had 3phone calls home? i have spent numerous hours working with preschool and kindergarten children. this is NOT normal behavior for a 5y/o. you're making excuses for your child because you do not want to hear that there is something wrong with him, when it sounds that there might definitely be.

Answer 5

It's kind of the parents fault for not raising the child with structure from the beginning. A child is going to do only what a parent allows him to do. My daughter is the only child and she knows what the rules are and have known them sense two. You and your husband need to tag team and reinforce the same rules.

I put my daughter on punishment for a month for her smart mouth. She consisted of: going to school, coming home and I sit with her and we do an hour of homework. Next she had to clean the bathroom thoroughly. She then had to clean her bedroom to my liking. After that she took a bath, at diner, and went to bed. She was in bed by 6:30 p.m. and it was killing her to hear kids playing outside and it being light outside and she had to go to bed. I stuck to the punishment and her dad reinforced it.

Sometimes you have to scare the sh*it out your child and let him know he should fear you. Pop up to your son’s class. I have pop into my daughter's class and spanked her *** in front of her class. Another thing is I threatened her and let her know if she acts up, her teacher was going to spank her.

If all else fail, tell him that you are going to take him back to the hospital because he is broken. Tell him you want a good kid so you are going to exchange him. My daughter screams like I can really exchange her a*s*s.

Answer 6

He might need to adjust to this new routine. You admit he is spoiled, maybe you can work on that, and not continue spoiling him even if he is your only. He needs to be continuely showed their are limits to everything. Maybe ask him why he is doing this? Maybe he is so smart, that he has figured out to get kicked out of school, so he can be back at home with his family where he is used to. You know he doesn't have add, or adhd? You talked to a doctor? Have you seen a shrink? Maybe he can get your son to tell him whats up.

Answer 7

He has no business being in school OR on the bus at the age of 5. And I think it's ridiculous to try to control his behavior at that age, which is probably early signs of masculinity.

LAY OFF OF HIM, or else set the example by wearing a strait jacket, yourself. You want him to act like a trained seal, with no personality or individualtiy. You and your stupid rules and regulations for your 5 year old. Get a clue, man!

Everytime I see people talking about "getting their children to be good"...boy, would I like to get them to be good.

AND YOU PEOPLE SAYING HE NEEDS TO BE DISCIPLINED AT 5. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Answer 8

poor kid.
he is going to suffer and its all your fault.
he was and is a child who needed to be taught and led not do things just when he wanted.
you should be ashamed.