Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship right now, she's a few hours away, and she has been always openly bi-curious, right from day 1 I found out. From what I know, she has only had 1 sexual partner that was female, and pretty much only as a F**k buddy. We say we love each other, and I am completely loyal, and she says she will behave herself, and not sleep around............but I have my doubts. She has a troubled past you see, she talks about her ex's all the time, (apparently there are 8 ), and she seems to have stayed friends with a few, even though when they were lovers she was being beaten. I just dont know......she's surrounded by all these sexual partners, im 157 miles away, and she's going to strip clubs and such, gawking at women, talking fondly of her ex's.....Can I trust her? I dont like to call my girl 'easy', but when alcohol and drugs are involved she is pretty loose.....I dont have a prob with her being bi, I just don't want to be cheated on...confused
2006-09-18 18:23:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Again I say I dont mind her being bisexual, or having her look at other women and saying that they are hot, it just feels like im up aainst some really stiff competition....women, men are always hitting on her, buying her drinks, she just tells me on the phone and laughs, says she is loyal, that i shouldn't worry, then a co-worker she had a crush on asked her out and she turned him down, but I guess he went on about how she shouldn't be with me, we are too far apart......then her old F**k buddy is a worry too. Do I even have a chance of keeping her to myself from so far away? Even with all the other forces working to get her? I love her too! At least she tells me all this, she is very honest.......I have no reason to suspect her......but when I hear about all this stuff on the phone, a guy has to wonder right? Will she hold down the fort just for me, and only me I wonder?
2006-09-18 18:32:13 · update #1
It's not that I dont trust her.......but when all she does is talk about all these things(her ex's and such, I never bring it up.) I have to wonder. I am considerate enough that I don't bring up my ex's...they are the past....I dont need to think about them, because i'm happy now, in love, with my current girl. But yes, she has some baggage, but she has been through a hellofalot......and I am convinced I am the man that can treat her right, and I want to help her, be with her, love her. But the last thing I need is some kind of horrible heartbreak............i'm not used to this kind of relationship, but I love her enough to try. I'm so stuck. This kind of thing is not easy at all.
2006-09-18 18:42:39 · update #2
well, obviously you don't trust her. You can ask us, but we dont' know her. And, you realize there is a lot of prejudice in the queer community when it comes to bisexuals. So, asking about "trust" and a "bisexual" might get you some snide remarks. Sadly, even some queer people oppress sexual minorities..
Look, my partner lives all the way in Australia. I am in the US. Stuff has happened with alcohal but it doesn't challange me. I have my boy's love. Love isn't about sex. It isn't about cuddling or finding comfort with another person pysically, i wouldn't have stayed if it were about those things. Those can be symbols of love, but they can also be symbols of comfort, and they cannot be the only, or even the most important aspects of love for me. I love zir mind, zir soul, zir heart, zir maturity, and zir childish=silliness.
If something does happen, we tell each other, because we are not afraid of loosing one another. I know without a shadow of a doubt where my heart is, and i know without a shadow of a doubt where my boy's heart is. If i asked to be the only one, i know i'd have it.
Bottom line is, i know my boy, i have zir affection, zir loyalty, zir universe, and he has mine. I'm not going to clog my time worrying about trivial ditails and petty jealousy based on my own insecurity.
*sigh* I know i might be in a different place in my relationship than you are. Do you have love? Or do just not want to be lonely? There is a difference... You both have my sincerest thoughts.
-gg
2006-09-18 18:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's very smart of you to think about how the new life would feel, I'm warning you that it will not bring the two of you together and will most likely push you apart instead, make her more irritable and you more exhausted, it sounds like she has cheated on you, to meet up with various men and perhaps she's so insistent the baby is yours because it isn't but your the stable man in her life. You deserve far better treatment and perhaps its better you leave before you cause a broken family
2016-03-27 08:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in almost your exact situation. It was the worst experience of my life. Stay away from people with baggage. They use it as an excuse not to better themselves. Find a girl that will treat you with dignity and respect. Trust me... 6 years of my life was wasted. It's not worth the pain.
2006-09-18 18:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by A concerned American 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest you asking her not to say all the stuff she's been saying. It's making you jealous and a nervous wreck to have her go on and on about all these possibilities to sleep around. Let her know that you do trust her not to, but it's hard to think that when she keeps going on and on about all these opportunities to cheat.
2006-09-19 00:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girlfriend is BI and she really cares about us...she have a huge respect for our relationship...i see that your situation is different from ours...it is a confusing...and you might have your doubts which may be real.she has a complicated background and she might have still little problems,such as instability...you can trust,i bet you love her but remember not to make yourself hurting too much...be careful and good luck!
2006-09-19 00:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by dada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have u guys ever met each other? at least you both should meet once in a month if she's pretty far. if you already know her personality deeply i dont think there is a reason not to trust her, but from your story i dont think she's typical of girl who likes long-distance relationship.
2006-09-18 18:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by classy naima 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no.
You seem to have answered your own question, "when alcohola dn drugs..." I'm not saying dump her but if you trust her and are faithful to her, you're living on Fantasy Island if you think she'll do the same.
You should put your feelings and aspirations out there and see how she responds/says.
Chill out
2006-09-18 18:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jehan J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like you have much trust or respect for her. Either she's giving you no reason to, or you're waving her past in her face, and that's bad for you both either way.
2006-09-18 18:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're in a very unstable situation...watch it..you could get really hurt here.
2006-09-18 18:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u cant trust her then u shouldnt be with her.
in my experience, bi-sexuals cannot be trusted. im sure it depends on the person of course.
2006-09-18 18:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋