Joseph and I have been together for over 8 (since we were 15) and now are engaged. The problem is I dont think I want that life. I am adventurous and he is the kind of guy with the perfect life plan. I really do love him but should I break up with him and risk losing the greatest guy in the world just because I dont want to be married and have kids or live in the same small town we grew up in. He is great but I've never even dated anyone else to compare him to.
2006-09-18 17:15:21 · 13 answers · asked by ashleynicole 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you love him and think the is "the greatest guy in the world" then you need to talk to him and tell him what you want. He must love you too. Come to a compramise. Maybe he things that is all what you want... Talk to him. Love is to precious to throw away.
2006-09-18 17:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by jelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does Joseph know how you feel? Perhaps he'll surprise you and want some of the same things you do. I wouldn't chuck 8 years without at least discussing this with him. And I think some individual and joint counseling might help. After all that, if you still are as far apart in life goals as you describe, the only fair thing would be to end it before you're married and have children. He'll be hurt, but he'll heal and find someone who wants the same things he does. God bless you both.
2006-09-19 00:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well your two very different people i would never say to u break up with him but i think maybe u should have a break from each other and travel and see some of the world before u marry him u don't have not marry him all together but just go and see the world first see what it has to offer cos u love him after see what the world has to offer you just mite want to marry him after all of tat or u mite find some else either way you say u never had an adventure so have fun.
2006-09-19 00:27:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is interesting that you use "great" twice. Leaving and trying to come back doesn's sound like a GReAT option here. This feels more like a series of serious negotiated conversations, perhaps w/ a neutral 3rd party facilitator:
do you want kids - how many
are you willing to move - how far
would you consider _________ travel as a compromise to moving.
Acid tests:
agree not to communicate for 2 weeks; preferably 1 month.
take a trip for 5 - 7 nights. If possible take a girl friend so you don't go out of mind bored.
How do you feel then?
2006-09-19 00:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont get caught up in pressure. just cause he is a great guy doesnt mean you have to marry him. keep it real. take a break. that is what it sounds like you need. if it is ment to be then you will end up back together. keep in mind taking a break doesnt mean sleep with other people then figure out Joseph is the one cuz that just sounds like there are other agendas going on behind this decision. anyways good luck.
remember sometimes we grow out of high school and out of our high school honeys. one of my closes friends married her high school honey and she tells me that after so many years of being with this great guy, she feels she married cuz she thought that was what she was suppose to do. cuz there was no reason to find someone else.
clue, one good reason is if you feel he is not the one even if he is a great guy. we tend to let the pressures of what people might think get in the way of doing what may be the best for our ouwn future. ya know.
2006-09-19 00:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry him despite your reservations I think you will grow to resent him and the lifestyle he chose for the two of you. He may be a great guy but if your not completely happy then he may not be the one for you. These "little" things of not wanting to have a baby and wanting to travel the world while he wants to stay at home will come up during the marriage....better to squash it now then later.
I wish you the best.
2006-09-19 00:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by CuteCaribChic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your young , believe me you will meet other people . If you think you wouldn't be happy with that kind of life then don't live it . This world is full of opportunity with beautiful places and beautiful people. Get out there and experience it . If you decide to explore our world I feel certain you will not regret it .
2006-09-19 01:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Janey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to your question. You are not sure...You have not been with any other guy? In 8years you're only engaged? That's saying something right there.
2006-09-19 00:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just don't want to give that love up have a talk with him let him know what you want in life if he loves you he will do it for you good luck to the both of you
2006-09-19 06:14:08 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want advice -- you want permission. Grow up and do what you want and stop torturing the poor bastard.
2006-09-19 00:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋