and if not, is it better to be alone or to be in a relationship im not totally happy in?
2006-09-18 17:10:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends on the people involved and the situation, but if I were completely miserable I would find a happy place. If it's a few things about the person that you can learn to accept in time, like dirty laundry on the floor or the whole toilet seat issue, then I would stay. A lot of the strength in relationship comes from compromise. No one is truly blissful in a relationship. People are complex beings, and it takes a lot to build a lasting life with someone by communicating your needs and sacrificing certain things. If you continually leave a relationship because it's not perfect, you'll find yourself alone and unhappy, which has completely defeated the purpose of leaving good things behind.
I would never tell someone to stay where they don't feel comfortable, but you need to be realistic about it too. If the relationship is abusive or impedes your forward progress, then ditch it. If it's multiple things that you just can't stand, then, yeah, by all means, find someone who doesn't have so many flaws.
2006-09-18 17:20:43 · answer #1 · answered by Another Nickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not Dr. Laura but I have been married to the same guy for 25 years. The question you need to ask yourself is if the "not totally happy" part is something that can be fixed or do you truly not feel anything special for this person? You need to go with your gut. Also, long term relationships tend to go in cycles. You have times where you feeling really close and other times more distant. Also, remember that no one is perfect. The person we love and care for the most can have a trait that drives us nuts. You need to ask yourself if you can live with it. One last word.... early on in relationships, we tend to want everything perfect. If there is one thing I've learned about people and relationships, its that we need to be more forgiving and tolerant of peoples flaws. After all, we all have them. The bottom line is that you must accept the person as they are and let them know that you do. We can't change people. We all need to feel loved and accepted for who we are. And lastly, staying in a relationship just because you are scared of being alone is never a good option and not fair to the other person. Alone can be a good thing. Best of luck.
2006-09-19 00:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by gshorey@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not possible to be totally happy in a relationship all the time. Every relationship has it's ups and downs. Falling in love is the easy part. Staying in love takes the work of both partners. Don't walk away from him just because you're not totally happy. Talk to him. Listen to him. Find out why you're not happy. If the 2 of you can't work it out, go to counseling together. If he won't go, go by yourself. Believe me, it helps.
2006-09-19 00:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible, but you have to be happy with yourself first, before you accept the other person alongwith their flaws. That's what makes relationships happy - some level of compromise without letting go of your core. If you really assess your self and think you'd be happier alone, then do that. And in accepting another person, complete with flaws, don't change your values.
2006-09-19 01:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by noodlemcgoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to build a good relationship with trust, love and respect. I have never seen a 100% relationship myself but I am sure there are some out there.If you are not happy in a relationship then you should seek out the good and bad questions and see how many out weigh the bad...There are options..seek them out as you are the one who will be alone.
2006-09-19 00:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by Carol H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even in the greatest relationships, you are not going to be happy 100% of the time. All relationships take lots and lots of work.
2006-09-19 00:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by im_shady77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be happy with ur relationship.
you're not gonna be happy 100% of the time, because that is impossible... but, you should be overall, happy w/ the relationship.
and if your not happy, then i think its better to be alone, because then you can look for a new relationship that is more worthwhile and that can make you happiter.
goodluck if u are in this situation :]
2006-09-19 00:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not. It is impossible to satisfy everyone at the same time. Don't feel worried, no one has a perfect relationship. It is perfectly normal to feel a dissatisfied with you relationship here and there, but if you are continutally dissatisfied, it may be time to work out your problems or move on.
Good Luck!
2006-09-19 00:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by ineedanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure is possible. If people would learn the difference between lust and love and then work at making everyday a honeymoon, they'd be happy. If you're not happy, it's the choice you made. It's got to be your choice what you do with it.
2006-09-19 00:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by oldman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well yes if you just shut out the reality on everything but sometimes it is possible......but ofcourse you will have a few arguments!
2006-09-19 00:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by Diana Renae M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋