I have been with my boyfriend 7 months, he is 29, Im 26.
He moved out of his parents house on the weekend (finally haha), But I asked if he was going to get me a key cut(hes living by himself) and he said definetly not? I have offered to give him a spare key to my house. Its made me realise were moving at different speeds in our relationship? at our age, shouldnt it be serious enough to give each other a spare key to our houses, we dont live together and live 2 hrs apart.
What do you all think., Am i moving too fast or is he moving too slow?
Our relationship was very fast to begin with, we had told each other we loved each other within the first 3 weeks.
2006-09-18 15:37:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think by not giving you a key he is make the opportunity to allow himself to cheat or be with someone else. My ex and I have been broken up for 2 months but are still friends and she still has a key to my place. I really can not ask for it back, it feels to strange. She lived here with me for two years. You may be moving to fast for him, but I think I see beyond his games.
2006-09-18 15:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here is the thing...You can't get mad at him because you offered him a key to your place and now that he has his own, he isn't ready to give you one. Really, if you were thinking, you would have realized that you shouldn't have even have had to ask for a key. It's his first place. Give him time. You are already trying to move in...That's how he is looking at it although that probably isn't your motive. So yea, I can see where you are coming from, but at the same time, you can't get upset with him just because you want to give him a key to your place but he doesn't want to reciprocate.
Don't say anything else about it and don't let him know it bothers you. Obviously you guys are moving at different speeds or maybe he's just not ready for that. It does seem like you are pushing too hard for it by asking already and he isn't even out good yet.
2006-09-18 15:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your ages, it's a tough call. If he JUST moved out of his parents house he needs some time to live on his own. Every person should live alone for a few years, in my opinion. It teaches you how to be comfortable being totally alone and it's a wonderful thing to be able to do.
Don't rush it. You're both young, and when he is ready to feel serious enough with you to give you a key he will. Pressure never works with men anyway, so just roll with it and enjoy where you ARE in the relationship rather than being focused on where you WISH you were. All things in good time.
2006-09-18 15:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by shoeless356 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think things started off too fast when you were swearing love only after three weeks. You really couldn't have fallen in love that fast, it must have been just a infatuation - it takes time to really experience love in all it's facets.
Don't push him now that he has found his "freedom" from his parents. He has to find his way along in life at his own pace. Continue to see each other and let things work them selfs out and let him offer to give you his key, as you did to him. He wants to do it in his own time and if he doesn't well, don't worry so much about it and let it spoil what could be a wonderful relationship.
2006-09-18 15:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 months is a short period of time. What is your rush anyway? You need to be in the "discovery" stage; finding out who this guy really is, not asking for a key or offering yours to him. You have both moved too fast and said the "L" word much too soon.
I suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart and decide to slow things down a bit and get to know one another--and that doesn't mean spending the night either, that means talk.
Needy, desperate people rush things and once they hop in the sack and start with the heavy feelings too soon, the relationship usually fizzles. Slow down, you are moving way too fast.
2006-09-18 15:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he lives 2 hours away and have had time to think about the fast move he made in just 3 weeks, think about why he won't give you a key.
2006-09-18 15:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by Cutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a little time to settle in. I don't have a key and it doesn't bother me. I don't think ur on different levels he's just wants a place of his own right now. Maybe u should get ur key back. J/k
2006-09-18 15:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by pixiegurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back up, take a deep breath, and hold on to your heart! he's setting boundaries with you, and he's saying he's not ready and you are reading him correctly. you are going tooo fast. slow down, your happiness depends on it, if you are the one pushing the relationship and he's not investing in it, you are doomed to be that way forever if you choose to get married, i suggest, for what it's worth, to back off, date around, or just give it a little time and see if you are worth pursuing to him, if he does not, you'll learn your answer real quick and if that's the case, he's not worthy of your time!!!!
2006-09-18 15:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do no think he should give you a key, this is HIS place. Do you have a history of poking into his things or cleaning up his room.
2006-09-18 15:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
age is no matter when it comes to relationships..... slow down girl....... i think he needs the time to get his feet wet, as for as living alone....... if he just got his first place let him celebrate his freedom a while..... give him time to get to know himself and what he wants now..... you will end up pushing him away if you dont give him some space........ God bless
2006-09-18 15:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋