im gettin married in 3 months but now im getting second thoughts is marriage good????????

Question

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!GURLS AND GUYS!!

Answer 1

marriage is what u make of it,, but if ur havin second thoughts,, really think hard

Answer 2

Marriage, like anything, can be amazing or it can be horrible. There is no way of telling in your situation, but here are some tips from someone who has been married twice. Understand I am not a counselor, an attorney, a tax professional or a mental health worker. Just a girl who's been divorced before and doesn't plan to be again.

1. If something about your partner annoys you a little bit now, it will annoy THE HELL OUT OF YOU later if you let it. Don't focus on the small irritants... focus always on what wonderful qualities your partner has.

2. If your partner treats you badly now and you're thinking that getting married will improve that... THINK AGAIN. It will only get worse.

3. If you're getting married for ANY other reason than you are great friends, have great respect for each other, and want to be together for the rest of your lives, don't do it. FRIENDSHIP and MUTUAL RESPECT are the cornerstones of a happy, long marriage. Sexual attraction goes away. Once it's gone, if what remains isn't a foundation of friendship and respect you're doomed. DOOMED I TELLYA!!

4. If either of you has nosy, butt-in-ski, busy-body, controlling family members, it is up to that person to TAKE CONTROL NOW and draw the boundaries with their family member(s) who are the problem. When you are a married couple, YOU get to say what goes on in your lives, NOT your parents or other family members.

5. You need your alone/individual time. Giving up your friends is NOT a good strategy for a happy marriage. Nothing wrong with going out with the boys (or the girls) every month and having separate interests. A couple does not need to be joined at the hip. It's unhealthy and eventually breeds resentment. You each need a bit of independence to fully appreciate your commitment.

6. Keep separate money. Most couples fight over money. You can avoid this all together if you decide NOW how you will handle your finances. There should ideally be a joint checking account where you each deposit a portion of your income, to pay shared bills such as mortgage, groceries, household maintenance, etc. But you should also each keep separate personal accounts for investing, saving, and disposable income. This way, there is no resentment about buying yourself something nice when it's all your own money that you're using.

Good luck. A good healthy marriage is a wonderful amazing blessing.

Answer 3

marriage is good, but it does have it's ups and downs, 2 ppl are still going to argue over stupid things, but you get past that. and when there are hard times, you 2 have to work together to pull it through, and good times you share the joy. marriage is all about 2 people making things work. takes 2 to love.

Remember, arguements are what makes the relationship/marriage stronger.

although you should know that you want to be married. you shouldn't be having second thoughts about marriage, having second thoughts about marriage is either you're not ready for it, or you just haven't found the right person yet. Because the day before I was going to get married, my husband kept on asking me if I was sure that I want to be married, and I said I'm sure, I never had second thoughts, because I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

And marriage is life time commitment, it's not a christmas present that you get and when you get tired of it, you can toss it away. So you have to think deep and hard about this.

Answer 4

Hon, it's not spelled "gurls"----it's GIRLS. How "good" a marriage is depends on how committed the two people are to each other and the relationship. Are you having second thoughts about marriage, in general, or about the person you are marrying? If it's the person, what are you concerned about? Its not too late to change your mind. But if you are having second thoughts now, it might behoove you to reconsider if this is right for you.

Answer 5

If you are having second thoughts, you had better stop right now and take a good hard look at your relationship. I was engaged 4 times before I got married. Marriage to the right person is a really good thing. Don't be afraid to call it off if you are having doubts.

Answer 6

Cold feet THREE MONTHS in advance? This indicates a larger problem. Is is a fear of commitment on your part? Is it that you aren't as compatible as you would wish? Do you want more time to know him better?

Is it the wedding you are nervous about, or the marriage? Is it just being married to anyone that scares you? If so, post again with that specific question.

Answer 7

Marriage, like several things is life requires a lot of work from both people. And it offers rewards that sometimes can not be found in many other things. Like having that one person that you can go to with whatever you need to. The one that comes to know you sometimes better than you know yourself (yeah this one can be a pain sometimes lol). Yeah it sometimes is like a roller coaster you have your ups and downs. But you will find that in most things you do. Wish you all the best, hope this helps.

Answer 8

Dude, if you're having second thoughts, there's probably a reason. You better be 100% positive that this is the right guy and you have to sacrifice, and supportive, and you have to do all these things I'm not sure of cuz I'm not married, but I hear it's no bed of roses all the time....

Answer 9

the main important concern i will see right here does not have something to do collectively with your babies, it has to do with the age of your female chum. i will't assist you to recognize approaches many youthful defense force better halves can no longer look after the life. they could be reliable, self sufficient, have trouble-free experience, waiting to look after the funds, waiting to make judgements, and whilst the time comes in step with risk waiting to grant beginning without you protecting her hand. maximum women can no longer do it. i could advise suspending the marriage, bypass by using trouble-free training and spot how she handles that then your first deployment. If she would manage to look after those then marry her. If she falls aside...speaks for itself look for a woman no longer a woman. you're very incorrect approximately "older" adults i think on your techniques it is 25 or older, no longer having all the goopy love little ones have. They do. they have all of it alongside with the hots for another. i do no longer think of you're arranged for marriage and the possibilities are no longer intense that your female chum is the two. there is not any longer something incorrect with waiting a 12 months or 2 on the same time as you experience your oats. she would manage to be going to college and close to have a profession so she would manage to paintings while you're deployed. suitable of luck!

Answer 10

You need to do some soul searching and find out if this is just cold feet or are u actually really having second thoughts....cold feet is perfectly normal.. BUT make sure thats what it is, u dont want to guess that it is just cold feet just to figure out alittle later after ur married that it wasnt.. Can u picture ur life with out him??? Can u picture him with another woman getting married and having kids and living happily ever after????HONESTLY??? if the answer is yes.. then u need to call of your engagement..

Answer 11

marriage is wonderful if it is to the right person...... but it is NOT easy no matter what...... you have to adjust and make exceptions and be more compassionate than you ever have before....... go into it open minded and open to new things...... be prepared to give more than you get...... that also aplies to the husband to be..... do not expect a fairy tale...... it is scary and fun and annoying and suprising...... I have been married 30 yrs now...... and I still have to work at it....... meaning of work is what I said before about compassion and forgivness and respect and all those things...... I think most pppl who are about to embark of the wedding neptuals get worried and scared and cold feet.... it is normal and human....... to join together with another is an adventure and yes it can go wrong.... but, if your heart is joined with his, if your soul sings to his...... then God will help you thro it and it will all just fall into place...... God bless