Today I saw a guy I hadn't seen all summer at this program I go to. I forgotten what he was like. He was flirting with me and at the end of the day he asked me if I wanted to go out with him . He's 28 and I am 20. I am still kind of questioning my sexuality but I am pretty sure I'd rather be with girls . i have had bad expiriences with guys. When he asked if I wanted to out with him I got nervous and I got a little defensive . He was a little pushy . The only person in the program that knows I am a lesbian is the team leader and I would like it to stay that way. I got to face this thing tommorow and I don't know what to do . Any suggestions? Please be serious when you answer.
2006-09-18 15:24:27 · 28 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you don't have to tell the "whole" truth if you're still questioning your sexuality. but you don't have to lie, either. tell him you're flattered but you aren't interested in dating. or that you are interested in someone else, and you just want to be friends.
2006-09-18 16:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, weather you are a lesbian or bisexual at this point it seems like this guy is a bit too pushy and you are confused. I don't suggest any dates until you find who u are and what u want.You don't need to get more confused than you already are. I would just tell him tomorrow that it's nothing personal against him at all, but you really have some personal problems that your dealing with and right now wouldn't be a good time for you to date someone. That shouldn't hurt his feelings- Let him know that yall are still cool if you want and can hang out, but don't let him get the wrong impression. Make sure he knows that yall are just friends. Then just give yourself time to figure out what you want. And don't forget,you don't have to pressure yourself to pick if you like men or women.You might be like me and just like people. I had a few BAD relationships with men also, one day i found myself crushing on this chick. Well anyways- I ended up meeting Jennifer and her personality is kick @ss! I guess I am bisexual,but I am leaning more and more towards women.Well good luck!!!
2006-09-18 22:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by sexygal8321 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
re: This fellow.
If you like him, go out, if you don't like him much, then don't! And you don't have to say boo of why .. or you can say pretty much anything you want to including .. you make me a little nervous so I don't think you are my type.
re: lesbian...
If you are only "pretty sure" but not "certain" that you are lesbian .. give your self some time yet. Twenty is still young and time for many experiences.
The daughter of my boss was your age, and she flip/flopped back and forth. Now she has found the love of her life .. a fellow .. and they have been married for 7 years.
There are some good guys out there besides the bad ones .. as well as some rotten girls
-- and of course some nice girls too.
good luck.
2006-09-18 23:21:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well here is what I would do,
I would wait for the guy to ask you again and politely tell him
I appreciate that you are asking me and say that it is realy flattering but that you are not interested at this time. tell him that you think he is realy a nice guy but right now that you are not into dating anyone but your life is realy just not at a point where you feel you can date anyone right now.. so that right now you dont blow you cover so you are telling him the truth that you do like him as a person but you are not interested in dating him or anyone else right now.. but at the same time you are not letting your "cat"out of the bag just yet... and you still have time to figure out your sexuality issues..
This is something you realy dont want to let out until you are truely ready to "come out of the closet"
Make sure you are ready to come out before you do.. and you are doing the right thing by not breaking anyones heart by not involving anyone else before you are absolutely sure.
2006-09-18 22:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by RiahWillow 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is no shame to be a lesbian. Just tell him that you dont have any sexual interest in him. That you just like him as a friend (classic breakup line lol). Try this. If he still hits and flirts on you, just tell him straight up that you dont like him and for him to leave you alone. Good luck and I hope you the best. :)
2006-09-19 16:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being sexually attracted to people is human nature. Unfortunately in today's society it is "pushed" upon us to claim some sexual orientation and thats not fair. During your youth you will ultimately have lots of sexual encounters, some straight, some homosexual, some bisexual, hell you might even flirt with trans-gender stuff, or get into to kinky junk, whatever! I say experiment until your little heart is content and don't worry about labeling yourself, when you settle down finally then if you still want you can label yourself. Until then enjoy your sexuality and experiment with it and don't let society push labels upon you, you can be attracted to both men and women there is nothing wrong with that. And since we are talking about sex, let us not forget to practice safe sex with both men and women, now go enjoy yourself and stop worrying.
2006-09-19 11:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by Fairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had every right to get defensive if he was being pushy. Tell him that you are not interested in dating at the moment but you would like to remain friends. If he can't accept that then give him the cold shoulder.
2006-09-19 10:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was pushy, I can see how that would make you nervous.
Just keep using that word "no", and if that doesn't work and/or he gets really crude or touchy, slap him!
You can also talk about the situation to the team leader.
EDIT: My sympathy well started drying up at the word "pushy". Also the fact that this man's eight years older than she is.
2006-09-18 22:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell the guy you are seeing someone and can't go out with him. If he presses you for details about your someone, tell him it's a private matter. If he continues to be pushy, then you can start using words like harassment and stalking. He should get the picture.
2006-09-18 22:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's leave the whole being lesbian things out of this. You, for your very own and very good reasons, do not want to go out with this guy. So, tell him: "Thank you, you are so nice and great, but this is not about you, this is about me. I really like you....as a friend."
2006-09-19 00:35:10 · answer #10 · answered by hoang anh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are interested in someone else, or tell him that you appreciate the invitation; but you are not interested in dating or seeing him. Just be nice about it, and it shouldn't be a problem. You do not have to discuss anything else with him, just nicely say that you are not interested. Good luck and have a good night.
2006-09-18 22:30:16 · answer #11 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋