How do I find out if my husband is cheating on me?

Question

There is this girl that likes him and he knows it. He calls her about 6x a month. The one that really got me is when he called her after 12:00am from a friends party first and then he called me. Why call so late and why her first? I checked his phone afterwards because I have been checking his calls lately and her number was erased and mine was still there from that time. So that tells me that he might be erasing the number everytime. What would you think and would you let him know? I would love to get into his email because I'm sure I could find something concrete there.

Answer 1

He shouldn't be calling her, but you know that. Maybe a one on one with him about what she is doing as far as flattery, etc. that is causing him to react to her attention that you are not doing... don't ask him if he cheated, he'll get defensive, and that'll make things worse. There's a lot you can do to fix the problem w/o having to confront him... try to give him the benefit of the doubt... Why is he going to partys w/o you anyway? do things together, not separately. You could see a difference in your marriage. If you do anything, "stalk" him, or hire a private detective. Also, you should have access to his email at any time. Marriage is based on trust, even when it's irritating... that means that he also should have access to your email... and anything else. Love and be loved by your husband, don't let anyone come between that!!!

Answer 2

My husband had a gal that he called when he was drunk. He would call her at 1am, 2am or later. He said that she was just a friend, but I think also it made him feel like a playboy and flattered him, to have someone to call. He also tried to hide it from me because he said I would not understand. But, he got mad when I confronted him about it. You should confront him about it and let him know that you know. That way, at least things are out in the open. Tell him that yes it was wrong to snoop, but it was also wrong to be carrying on these little romantic dalliances and hiding them. Then, it is his decision..he can either try to work with you to regain the trust and honesty you both lost, or he can get even further secretive and further involved with this gal (or other gals). If he does the latter and you still suspect, I would hire an investigator and divorce his @ss...

Answer 3

playing the PI is a dangerous thing to get into unless YOU are very prepared for what you may find... what is your heart telling you ?? if you are determined to go for it you will need.... a sitter if you have kids, some one YOU trust !!! and an unknown car to follow him in, a friends or relative that has a car he does not really recognise.... a good camera or movie camera, a pair of bonachulars, and a note book and pens..... a witness to ride along with you, again, some one you trust..... take down everything you see, times, dates, places, people, etc........ you must do this and catch him several times, NOT just once.....you have to play it kool and calm and innocent... you can NOT let on to him what you are doing..... and you can NOT confront , if there is another her, at all........ that would, if you made threats or even a remote gesture towards her, give rights to them... keep the power and keep it all to urself........ IF and I say IF you do this and find out your worst fears are true, you have 2 choices , keep it quiet and see a lawyer with it all, or confront him first....... it is all up to you at that point..... but whatever, play it safe and be safe....... and keep ur head about you........ God bless

Answer 4

If he's erasing her number, then he's hiding something from you.

If you think that he's doing something on the computer, there are programs out there that will let you check all key stokes, meaning that you could access his email and look at any chat records.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I hate to say it but if he is calling some woman 6x a month and after midnight from a friend's party, if he is not cheating-----he's well on his way. You could hire a p.i. or rent a car and follow him or to save yourself the time and money, just ask him why he erased her number and see how he responds. Trust your gut!

Answer 6

Honestly, I think he probably is cheating. I went through a divorce about six years ago and those are all signs of a cheating spouse!! Mine tried to play stupid when I caught him. He even went to payphones to make calls instead of running an errand that he supposedly was doing. DON'T TRUST HIM! There is no reason he needs to be calling another female that much and especially at odd times of the night.

Answer 7

Wait a second. How do you know he called her from the party if the number was erased?

Answer 8

First do you get the cell phone bills? If so check the bills the call list should still be available. If it is cingular the call list is available on the Internet. you can download it to spreadsheet. Next he should not be calling any woman that is not family after 12am period. In matter of fact he should not be calling no women. If you want to find out if he is cheating on you and want your business out there put him on cheaters.

Answer 9

He also might be talking to this girl because she gives him the butterflies.. its new and exciting and he feels like a stud. It could be harmless. Go with your gut feeling. Confront him on it!! Just be like hey, if this girl is something you're going to pursue please save me the heartache of finding out the hard way. That way you come out on top as not so much the victim and you dont waste time. Or.. you can do things to make him feel the way you both felt about each other. Give him a reason to keep with you..and not wander.

Answer 10

Go with your gut....hire a private investigator. Also call the cell phone company and request detailed billing.

I will be he is calling her about 6 times a month that you know about. My guess its more like several times a day.