Crying It Out At 3 Weeks?

Question

I have a 3 week old son and I was wondering if crying it out is a good thing for him or not? He tends to cry for no reason. I will feed him, change him, and hold him but once he seems like he's quieted down and I lay him down, he starts to cry again. I feel bad letting him cry it out but when I've already done everything I could to meet his needs, I don't know what else to do other than to lay him down in his room and let him just cry himself to sleep. I know babies like to be held but if I held him to keep him quiet, I'd never be able to get anything else done. I would be holding him 24/7. Is it okay for him to cry it out when I've done everything I could satisfy his needs? Is it helping him learn to sleep on his own or is it doing damage? I don't really know, being a new mom and all. I hear all kinds of different advice and I don't know what to use. Can anyone give me some advice on this suject?

Answer 1

At his age you can't spoil him. He need to know he can trust you to meet his needs. It sucks but you do have to put your life on hold to meet his needs. When he is older you can try the cry it out. Get a babysitter and take some time for yourself too.

Answer 2

Congrats on the baby!!

Stop obssessing about a clean home, keeping up on the laundry & other chores. Enlist your husband to help out so you can rest. If he works a lot, he can still do chores when he gets home to help. If you have older kids that can do chores or small ones, get them to help too. Make charts or lists of things that need to be done that can be split up.

Take up the people's offers of babysitting that offered when you were pregnant. Call them up one by one & ask for an hour or 2 of relief. Most will agree to that & possibly give you more time. Make a list of the times they agree to so you don't have 2 people over at the same time, unless that's ok with them & you. Or, use a calendar to keep track.

Put your son in a swing, secure bouncy seat, or carrier. He's wanting additional comfort from you or other stimulation. If he fusses when you lay him down, turn on the radio on soft music, like a classical station. Did you get any baby toys like the the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium? Put that on for him in the crib or playpen. Even a crib mobile can help him relax into sleep.

Learn to nap when he does. Of course, sleeping for hours on end like newborns & infants do isn't possible. Soon, he'll be sleeping through the night & you can get more rest.

I did all of the above with my son. Of course, I had different toys as he's 10 this November. I lived with my mom & she was working during the day. So getting the babysitters to come over that'd offered was helpful. If I didn't feel like cleaning, I took that time to have a nap. Most of my sitters were excited to stay an extra hour or two while I got some extra rest. If they couldn't stay more than 1-2 hours, then I either had a light nap or just sat down to read, watch TV or do a craft project.

Answer 3

i totally understand your frustration but everybody is right.... you can not spoil a 3 week old. they do not know how to soothe themselves by crying at this age. i think it is a few months down the road when they say "crying it out" is acceptable. I have 15 month old twin sons. it was difficult to give my attention to TWO babies 24 hours a day but you do your best. the burrito swaddle was a hit with my boys, they also loved the swings and music. a car ride is an option too. when a baby is colicky it is unlikely that anything will help except time and patience. (they say 3 months is the magic number for colic to be relieved) try some gas drops for babies... (ask your pediatrician first though) warm baths and it is NEVER TO EARLY to start a small routine. my boys and i didn't have a definete routine until they were about 6-7 months so no hurry... but it doesn't hurt to do baths and bed at the same time every night to get them used to something!!!!

if you feel like you may hurt your baby... by all means let them cry. it is better to let them cry than to accidentally hurt them.

if you still feel overwhelmed don't hestitate to ask others for help. neighbors, friends from church, other mom's, grandparents, or even a teenager after school for an hour or so can give you the opportunity to maybe take a bath, take a walk, or hey... A NAP!!!

also... i know this isn't the issue at hand but i denied my post-partum for about 8 months until it got unbearable for myself and husband. address those issues early on and it will be better for all parties involved!!!!
good luck! it will get easier i promise, just try and take one day at a time. eventually it will actually be fun!!!!

Answer 4

I have two kids and personally, I would never let my baby cry it out at 3 weeks. That is just too young. Maybe he just wants to be close to you. Get a sling or a baby carrier or try the infant swing. Try swaddling too. Studies have shown that you cannot spoil a baby by holding them too much before 6 months. I read that in several books, including What To Expect the First Year. I hope you get some rest. Some babies just require more attention than others. You will eventually miss these days, as hard as that is to believe right now!

Answer 5

Talk to the doctor, it could be gas from what you are eating if you breastfeed or it could be the formula. My 3rd baby could not breastfeed and he had to change formulas 5 times before we found something his stomach could handle. All formulas have the same basic ingredients, but not the same amounts of each ingredient. Also have you tried swaddling? Try using something so that the baby is close up to you (sling, carrier) so that you don't feel you are holding him 24/7. Letting him cry is an ok idea if you are frustrated and have no one else to help you with the baby. I actually went and got my neighbor one time. Just take a deep breath, remind yourself "it's going to be ok, and once you're calmed down, go pick him up, rock him, sing to him, talk to him. Babies can feel when you're stressed and they just cry more.

Answer 6

First let me say that my 9 month old has never cried it out and he has slept all night since he was 6 weeks old, all night being 830 pm to 630 am. buy a sling and carry him in it. Remember, for 10 months he was carried, it will probably take a while for him to get used to the world. After he is a few weeks older, he will realize that mommy is right there, at this age, he still thinks that you two are one, awwww!!! Try to SWADDLE him when you put him to sleep. Also google Dr. Sears, and he has a website with awesome ideas. There is a book called the NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION!!! I swore by it!!! Remember at 3 weeks old, your baby is not a martyr, he is not being manipulative, he wants his mommy!!! Wallow in that!! My 9 month old is too busy running around to even let me hold him anymore!!! When he does want to be held!! HE GOES IN HIS SLING!!! They sell some on hotslings.com and on ebay that are really cute and you will get your money out of them!!!! I think that the sling will be your best option, as he can sleep in it while you go aboutyour daily chores! dOn't get the snugli or baby bjorn, they always hurt my back and shoulders!! GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY THAT BABY@!!!! YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!! i AM SURE OF IT!!

Answer 7

I don't believe that it is possible to "spoil" a three week old baby by holding him. First I would try wrapping him tightly in a blanket, lots of babies do not feel secure unless they are wrapped tightly. The second thing I would try is a swing. Most swings today tip back for infant use.Mine have spent many mnay nights sleeping in theirs. I would try propping him up in a semi-reclining position, maybe in his car seat for 20-30 minutes after each feeding, laying him flat after feeding may cause him to get a gas bubble. Be sure to burp him a lot during feedings. Some babies want a dry diaper after they have peed in it about one time, if he is slightly wet change him. Once you have done everything then I would say it is ok to let him cry for awhile. If he seems to cry a lot call your doctor maybe he is in pain for some reason.

Answer 8

You could do what I did and many tribal cultures do all over the world- wear your baby with a wrap. My wrap was called a "maya wrap". They're great because you can do what you need to do (except for cooking of course) without the guilt. I never could let my baby cry it out either. Once in a while I'd try but never could let him cry himself to sleep. Maybe your baby has gas like mine did. Looking back I definitely should have given him anti-gas medicine... Also you could try a swing or vibrating bouncy chair. When all else failed I let my baby sleep in the swing even though I read you're not supposed to . In the end, you do what works.
oh well we learn as we go...

Answer 9

Yes, let him cry it out, by all means. But, instead of putting him in his room, by himself, make a bed for him on a couch, chair or on the floor where you can see each other. (If you use a couch or chair, make sure he is protected so he won't fall out and get hurt). a couple of folded blankets or a crib comforter works well in a play pen also. Or if you have a swing, put him in it untill he falls asleep. Your next step is very important... talk to him or sing while he's awake if he can't see you. This will reassure him that you are near, and that assurance is what he really wants. He is may already be showing signs of a co-dependant personallity, but if you handle it right, it will turn into a strong bond between you that will help you teach him the skills and behavior patterns you will both need for future successes.

Answer 10

I, personally, don't believe that letting a baby "cry it out" is healthy. I understand that it can sometimes be difficult because a baby often demands so much of your time and energy... but there is nothing better than holding and carrying your baby as much as possible. Your baby wants to be close to you in order to feel safe and secure.... this is what nature intended. You might try "wearing your baby". There are great slings and carriers that allow you to wear your baby... so that you can have a content little one and possibly get things done as well. It is actually healthy to carry your baby or "wear" your baby the majority of the day... trust me... he will cry less and you will be less frazzled. Trust your gut (it's your maternal instinct)... if you feel guilty letting him cry... then it's probably the wrong thing to do.

There are great sites on the Internet that talk about this very thing... one that I enjoy visiting for advice is:

www.askdrsears.com

Congratulations on your new son! Remember... they are only this young once (and it goes by soooo quickly!) Best wishes!!

Answer 11

3 weeks is way too young to have a child cry it out. You should change the baby first! Then feed. How would you like to eat with underwear all full of crap? That may help. Could also be cholic, my cousin's baby had that. After a while, she started to cry too. Gas is also a possibility, are you burping the baby? When burping, if he doesnt burp after a minute. Lay him on his back, then pick him up again and try some more. That helps the gas bubble move.