What do you do when your in a relationship,but it seems to be one sided lately?The first couple of years were great-but now she's just not the same person anymore-i love her,and she says she loves me-but i get the feeling she's wanting out,we've been togther for 3 1/2 years,i don't wanta' give up on us,and say the hell with it-i believe it has alot to do with her kids not approving of us.
anyway what would you do-please don't be rude here- i really need some good advice!
2006-09-18 14:28:42 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Wow your situation seems so similar to mine these days, except im the one with the kids and she is the one that doesnt have the kids, we both realy love each other but there are times that the relationship seems one sided as she is essentialy the step parent and I understand that is very hard but she gets VERY jelouse of my ex's relationship with the kids. even though I dont have a relationship at all (even speaking wise) with my ex . I dont want to loose my Love at all but because my children are my children I feel I have to protect them at times from the jelousy issue.. and I feel torn between her and the children.. (im not saying your situation is the same exact situation) but maybe she feels torn in some way between you and the children.. is there a possiblity that this could be the case? anyway I think you two should try to make this work if you love each other at all, take her out for a romantic picnic at a secluded place where you can have a nice conversation about your feelings.. and try doing this... everytime the conversation gets a little heated.. just say "shhh baby lets talk it out.. I dont want to argue if we get loud we wont hear a word the other one has to say" that has started to work for my girl and I .. I am not saying that we are going to make it as we dont have a majick pill or anything but we sure are making a go of it. and so far I dont see an end.. and the fighting sure has lessend..
Blessings,
RiahWillow
2006-09-18 14:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by RiahWillow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you get along with the kids??. It is hard particularly if they are the partners children. I'm not an expert on this matter. But I have been in a situation similar to yours. It wasn't exactly a great relationship either. However if the children are of a young age say 2 to say 7yrs it's manageable sort of. After that it gets complicated because of the discipline thing.
Mind you its really up to the partner to make it work if the love and trust is there.
Sit down and have a family chat, that sometimes works and get it out in the open. Find out what the problem is and compromise.
Family gatherings are great. Depending on the environment
2006-09-18 14:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you two get away for a few days together?
It seems like you need to sort out some issues that are not being talked out. I suspect you need to do something that will help you open up to each other, I would tell you what but Yahoo doesn't allow me to.
If it is bad and she wants out, try not to be angry coz you might regret it later. If her kids are making trouble, maybe her kids are not getting the right sort of attention, or maybe they're being teased at school. Where do you live? Somewhere open-minded or in Hicksville?
It's a sad thing when love fades, but sometimes it's better to let the flame go out rather than trying to relight it.
2006-09-18 15:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The basis of gay/lesbian relationships have no substantial foundation. They are based on the sexual desires of the individuals involved, not on the moral or normal relationship material required to develop a meaningful, committed relationship.
This is not to say that there are not couples like this that haven't been together for decades, but a lot of that is comfort, acceptence from a closed group that validates them in spite of society at large.
Most children recognise that same sex relationships are an oddity, and generally recoil from them; unless they have a larger motivation of loyalty to the biological parent, to support them, regardless of how wrong they feel the situation is.
How can I give advice to one I feel is in an unforgiveable situation, because they refuse to change? You must decide, if your sexual urges are more important than morals? If your partener is more important than a real life.
2006-09-18 14:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her...communication is the key to any relationship..
Lesbian Bed Death happens about 4 years into the relationship...try and rekindle some of the excitement you felt early in your relationship...surprise her...amuse her...excite her....take her out in a canoe, and make love to her....
Or just hold her...the choice is yours
As for the kids, have you taken a parental role...or the role of a friend....that might be where the problem is...especially if they see or feel that you have no authority and are not the mom
2006-09-18 15:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by bopddbop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really talk to each other someplace without distractions and at a time that's meant for the two of you. If that's not part of your life routine, it might have something to do with the way you are feeling. Open, honest, healthy communication takes a lot of work to maintain. It requires really listening as well as expressing yourself. The kids may be the problem, but if you not sure what's up with her, I suggest that you talk before deciding. Good luck.
2006-09-18 14:37:17 · answer #6 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd sit down and have a very serious talk with her. Bottom line is she either wants the relationship or not. Tell her your here for her now but you wont always be there waiting on her. I think thats all you can do until she comes to a conclusion, but by all means dont just sit around and wait for her. Live your life too. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-18 14:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by c_jayo6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and attempt and get her to talk to her mothers and fathers... with the aid of her speaking to them supplies her greater strategies on wether or no longer she desires to maintain it or maybe adoption she has greater strategies now than she will later. Her mothers and fathers will discover out ultimately in simple terms make constructive that's to no longer overdue. And be a stable pal and attempt and help/handbook her to make the strategies she needs and not what every physique "needs" her to do because of the fact she am has to handle it in a while in existence no count what she decides... and prefer the female earlier mentioned her mothers and fathers will strengthen to the belief and confident there's a super gamble they are going to loose it however the want no longer harm her or the child. So inspire her to make her judgements which will earnings her interior the tip.
2016-10-15 03:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happens alot! The honey-moon is over!! Well they say you don't truly know them till you live with them! You say it has alot to do with the kids not approving of your relationship, well there's your problem!! Well girl talk to her and tell her whats up and take it from there, i guess. Only you know how much you can take and for how long! Hope things work out!
2006-09-18 17:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by fairyjin1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to sit down and talk. My best advise-and this is weird, but it works as far as i know- get a bar of chocolate, split it in half, u get half she get's half. break off the peiced, first you then her type thing, each time u break off a peice say something that you've been annoyed by, or that hurts, or that she does, or u get the pic. DON'T ENTERUPT OR BE A JERK, even if it hurts you to hear what's being said, give her respect to say it, no judgements. Either way it goes you have to let it go that way. I'm not saying don't fight-fight like hell, but respect her if she says she wants to go, let her-it will hurt, but u can't force someone else to love you.
2006-09-18 16:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by Dark Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋