What would you do?

Question

My son (8) went to scouts today at 4:30. At 6:30, he hadn't come home yet, so I called his scout leader and asked when scouts woud be over. She said it ended at 5:30. Well, my son never came home. Upon talking to her she said he was walking home with another boy and she told the two of them to go straight home so us parents wouldn't worry. Mine went to this kids house. I don't know the kid or his parents. The scout leader gave me their number and I got no answer. The scout leader in turn is going over to this kids house to find my son. What would you do to him when he got home? This is the first time this has happened and I'm really upset.

Answer 1

Have a talk with your son and his friends stupid parents. Always you inform a visitors parents where there child is. If they do not know the phone number take the kid home!

Answer 2

I would have a sit down with your son. If this is the first time maybe he thought it would be okay. Tell him that if he wants to go over to another boy's home then he has to inform you. Let him be aware that you want to meet the parents and know the location of their home. You are concerned for his safety, you aren't trying to butt into his business. You understand that he wants to have fun and visit with his friends but it worries you when you don't know where he is. Make sure that he is aware that not everyone in this world are bad but there is some people that are bad and you want to protect him from it. Make the discussion serious but make sure he knows that you aren't mad you were just very upset and heartbroken at the thought that he could be gone. It works giving kids guilt trips and using fear against them. They need to understand the dangers of leaving without their parents knowing when who and where. Good luck mom and tell him that if you can't trust that he'll come straight home or ask to go some where before going then you'll have to pick him up from scouts each time, and he'll have to go straight home. Kids at this age are easily lead the straight way.

Oh, I personally do not believe in spanking. I believe it's only a form of abuse and I think that it demeans a child. It embarrasses them and teaches them that abuse is okay to controll behavior. Hitting is not okay, it's never okay to intimiated a child into being good.

I agree with Hal, Talk to the scout leader. She should know better than to let two small boys go off together. I know that she isn't a babysetter but being a scout leader is almost the same while the children are in her care she is responcible for them being safe. Make sure she knows what you expect of your son and his way home. I wouldn't chew her out, I would just make sure she understands that you weren't happy with what happened tonight.

Answer 3

First i would ask what the scout leader thought was OK about telling your son that was OK in the first place, and not clearing it with YOU first. Second i would ask why the parents of the other boy didn't call and make sure you knew, I mean you said yourself you don't know these people and they don't know you. Your son was doing what the scout leader obviously said was alright. He's only 8 and the leader was in the role of authority. I wouldn't yell and get angry with him, just make sure he knows that you and you alone decide where he goes, not the scout leader.

Answer 4

Don't get to mad, that will scare him. Place you self in his shoes, of couse you would rather play with your friend. But you son disobeyed the scout leader and owes her an apoligy. Have a talk with you son, but stay calm. Tell him that you were worried because you love him so much that you would be sooo sad if something bad happened to him. For a punishment he should be grounded from friends for 1 day. But then, what is the scoot leader did not really tell him to go straight home and just told you that so you would not get to mad? So if he tells you she never said that, and looks like he is telling the truth, you might want to think twice about the grounded. But he should have none to call you.

Answer 5

To directly answer your question of what to do to your son...hug him tightly and explain at an age appropriate level, calmly, that you were scared when he wasn't where you left him and that the expectation from you is that he remain where you left him until you come for him...or at least make sure he knows now that his responsibility is to stay within the guidelines and expectations you set for him. He probably doesn't realize he did anything wrong so to reprimand him is too harsh in this situation. It will be a much better lesson learned if he sees your emotion at the thought of not knowing where he was. THEN: you absolutely MUST address the scouts leader. While your son is in her care it is HER responsibility to make sure that all of the 8 year olds in her care are properly transported to and from her meeting place. She grossly neglected her responsibility tonight by not confirming with you, the parent, that it was OK for your child to walk home. Even if your child told her it was cool with you, the scouts leader was responsible for confirming it with the parent. When it comes to the safety and well-being of my child, I don't hold back. In fact, my daughter brought this question to my attention because she knew I would love to respond. I hope this has been helpful to you.

Answer 6

I would definitely talk to him about stranger danger. Before that I would tear his butt up. Then I would have a nice long talk to the parents. Any parent should know better than allowing a child into their home that they don't know or know the child's parents. At 8 he knows better than that but he might not quite understand the dangers involved. I have an 8 yr old just like that, everyone is her friend, she knows no danger. I talk with her almost daily about not talking to strangers and why I have to know parents of the kids she is around. I would also make it a point to pick him up from scouts until you think he should be allowed to walk home again.

Answer 7

Time to sit down and have a nice long chat with your son. You need to explain what was done wrong and get him to realise and verbally express how it is wrong. I would be upset as a parent probably freaking out. Tell him he either comes straight home or no more scouts. That or you will have to go pick him up. * years old is young and they are very egocentric meaning its hard for an 8year old to see outside of themselves and keep track of time. In his mind he was probably only a few minutes away from being home on time.

Answer 8

I personally think a good punishment is in order. If your son knows that this is not acceptable then he should be grounded or fave toy taken away or something. He needs to be told that you need to meet his friends and you need to know where he will be and a phone number. If the parent of his friend had any sense she should have called you. Parents should work together in situations like this. Do whatever you do when you punish him and make sure he knows what he is being punished for so this doesn't happen again.

Answer 9

Maybe spank him or warn him that if he ever done that again he would get a spanking. I know what my Mom would have done ha, ha! No really as long as he understands how worried you get so he does not do it again. The scout leader should not send him to another parents house without your permission first.

Answer 10

Just tell him not to do it again and if he does he will b grounded or get something taken away (which ever is worse) and if he wants to go to a friends house after scouts then he needs to ask u and tell u who the parents are and wat there # is so u don't have to worry that something bad has happened to him and if he doesn't then he is gonna suffer the consequences of his actions and that this is a warning.