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Question

my husband has done this to me several times and i am tired of it!! if we are going out somewhere and i am dressed and ready if he get upset for any reason at all he punish me by not going he usually will either go and lay down on the bed or the couch or say something like right we are not going we have even got into the car and we are on our way to where we are going and if for some reason he get upset because we are arguing or i might of said something and he took it the wrong way he will turn around and come back home i am tired of it!! today once again i got dress to go out after waiting on him to get off the computer (that is something i always do he is always on line and yes he do or have talked to women on line in the past i have found out about!!) anyway i need some advice on how to handle him with this situation as i really am at my ends wits about it i am just tired of expecting to go somewhere and then if he is upset for any reason the trip is cancelled....how do i handel it

i tired going out once before without him i left him on the computer at the time playing games when i got home he was talking to this girl he met on the computer we had a big fight i do not trust him!! if i go out by myself its almost guaranteed that he will go online and talk to women on line as he has done it in the past its very hard for me to trust him when ever he acts this way he will later on act like every thing is ok i am almost tempted to just don't go any where with him so that i will not risk having him say we are not going anywhere if we get into a disagreement or he get upset with me its been going on for a long time now i am so sick and tired of this i have talked to him about it and he always shift the blame on me some way or the other i am really tired of this behaviour its getting old!

Answer 1

Girl, have you ever heard of the word Manipulation???? He's doing it to you, big time. This pouty brat is controlling you and pushing your buttons. How long have you been married to him? Is he just now starting this bull?

If you just got married, get unmarried right now. He's not going to suddenly grow up. He's showing you that he's his way or the highway, and you'll be expected to cave in to his whims the rest of your life.

Or, is there some reason (I can't figure out), that he doesn't want to go out? So he picks a fight to keep you both from going. Hmm, do you go to the same places all the time? Maybe he has a new lady or prospect he's worried about running into. If you're all dressed up and looking good, most men will be thrilled to pieces to have a hot looking wife who enjoys getting out of the house.

Something is very wrong, and if it were me, I would put on my best party dress and walk right out the door. And keep going. Unless you like being manipulated. You are not the crazy one here, but he will have you thinking that you are the one making the mistakes, that you are the one being unreasonable or uncooperative, very shortly, if you stay with him. Good luck.

Answer 2

Unfortunatly, you cannot change a person and your husband sounds really immature. Other than leaving him what else can you do? You can try approach the problem in a different way and try figure out why he acts like this. There could be something lingering inside him from his past that makes him react to certain things. Something stopped his developmental stage (in his early years maybe when he was 2-10 years old) and now is affecting his marriage. I don't know if marriage councelling will help but maybe talk to him to get help. It's not an insult, his behaviour isnt his fault but if you want him to be more mature he needs to get some kind of help (like therapy). Hope every thing works out.

Answer 3

I'm glad you are sick and tired of his behavior. I hope you don't think that if you stay home, he won't cheat. Sounds like he is trying to give you a reason to leave and you're not getting the hint. If he truely starts and arguement everytime you two try to go somewhere, then he is using it as an excuse. You can't prevent a man from cheating on you. You just have to stop thinking that he is the only man out there. First of all, file for a seperation, then go talk to someone and get your self-esteem back. You need to be apart and see if you two really should stay together or if you should stay apart. Try to look at this like a life changing opportunity. Good luck.

Answer 4

Dump his ***... He likely doesn't want to go and starts a fight with you so he has an excuse to cancel.... I would go without him and be real secretive about what you did while you were there... Make him think that it is possible that you were being hit on by other men but didn't partake . He wont let you out of his sight, and is likely to follow you at all costs next time. Good luck. I would be putting a secret key stroke logger on the PC to see what he is typing to these other women if I were you as well

Answer 5

For some reason or another he doesn't want to go out in the first place...he could care less about how much effort it took you to get yourself together to go out! He either just is not interested in going to the places you were planning on going in the first place, or he is depressed, or he is cheating, or he is tired, or he is not
aware that he should be a more caring husband. Did you know that the Bible tells the husband 3 times to love his wife...Must be something to that...must be a hard thing for men to do for it to be told on three occasions for the husband to love his wife. Save your marriage...get to know what intrests your mate...then watch him get ready to go....and go enjoy what he likes if you can! Then when you return, remind him that he chose this time...that it would really be nice if he were compliant and as fun as you were to be with when you were with him where he wanted to go! God gave you the gift of marriage...it is a job that God has given you...put some thought and effort into it and stop being a baby!

Answer 6

The next time he does this, tell him u are going anyway and if he doesn't want to come, he can just stay home. Then take the car and go by yourself. He's doing this because he's getting a kick out of being controlling and is using this to gain contol over u. Don't stand for it and don't let him. Do your own thing and hopefully he will see that his antics isn't working on u anymore.

Answer 7

He is manipulating you. If he pulls that again, go out yourself. You don't even have to go anywhere in particular. Go to a friends house or to a movie or just go to a SAFE WELL LIT place and listen to the car stereo. When you come home and he asks what you did, tell him that he would know if he had bothered to accompany you and leave it at that. He has no respect for you and you can't let him feel that you are dependent upon him to have a life outside of the everyday routine.

Answer 8

He sounds like that he is doing this on purpose because he really does not want to go and he is finding all kinds of excuses. Be more independent and go out yourself. Tell him exactly how you feel. It seems that he wants to spend his time more on the computer talking with other women than going out with his own wife. If I were you I would have a talk with him about his hangups and why he is always talking with other women on the computer. You may have bigger problems then you think.

Answer 9

the trick is to CONFUSE YOUR HUSBAND. He knows you are hurt when he does these things coz he ulterior motive is to hurt you. He loves cancelling so that he gets much more time on the net. If you have a car of your own, i suggest that after he cancels to go, you should go somewhere for at least half an hour and come back relaxed. Give yourself a treat lady, high time.

Answer 10

Next time he throws a tantrum, go out with out him.. dont let his tantrums stop u from going out.. he'll eventually see that ur going on and having a good time while he's stuck at home.. and then dont tell him where u've been or who u saw, just come home and act as if u had the time of your life... and when he asks questions tell him he should of gone with u if he wanted to know.. and go to bed.. it will kill him not being a part of eventually..