i have been hurt so many times in my life to the point i had low self esteem and to the point where i wanted to die... but i healed over all that over the past 8 months and now i feel like i'm ready to start another relationship i met this nice guy and he said i had to many issues but he still wants to be wit me but first i have to let the past go so how can i do that and know that i will never think about it again and i can keep believing that there is someone out there for me...
2006-09-18 13:12:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its tough to forget the past. Just don't let it interfere with your future
2006-09-18 13:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for all the pain you've been through. In reading all that you've written here, I honestly do not believe your quite ready to start a relationship again. Especially with any man who would come right out and tell you that you have "too many issues." You don't want to be with someone like this! And if you were truly healed, you would know this. So, my advice for you is to wait. Yes, there IS someone out there for you. It's just not with this idiot (ignore your raging hormones, girl!). Concentrate on YOUR life. Are you in school? Do you have a career that you love? Focus on these issues before focusing on a relationship. You will know when the right man comes along... and you will be ready. He will treat you with respect and kindness and you will be proud to love him.
2006-09-18 20:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt say theres a true cure, but as always, time heals the wounds. if you really hurt that badly, i'd have to say that 8 months is too soon for the wounds to heal entiredly. Getting into any serious relationship right now would be a mistake. things might turn out ugly, you might subconsciously project your old relationship on your new one and inevitably ruin what chances you might have had with this new guy. Perhaps you should take things slow with this new guy and get serious when you know you're ready.
2006-09-18 20:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard because the only one capable of forgetting is God because he is supernatural. We as human beings have the ability to hold grudges which is a big downfall. Take your time and live day for day. Think about what you can accomplish rather than what you have been through. Learn from your mistakes and open your eyes half way to keep from being blind but don't open them all the way and be blinded by the sun and risk losing someone good. What I mean is look at only what you need to look at and don't focus on anything else other wise you take a risk of losing everything and bringing back hurt feelings.
2006-09-18 20:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds.As of this minute,your new life begins.Forget about the past,it only brings you down.Look optimistically to the future where a whole new wonderfull world is awaiting,full of challenges and rewards.Would you rather be crawling on the ground agonizing over every pebble,or soaring high in the sky with a birdseye view.
2006-09-18 20:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am honestly in your same shoes so to speak...and it is not easy...i have a lot of damage from the past...it is hard to trust and there is not a relationship that will last without trust...time heals wounds but i have deep wounds...i hope yours are not as deep as mine....but i once heard that i had given up on life and if we do not take some chances and try to believe in someone or something then we are just living a life without anything happening that may turn out good....we never know until we try again....if he cares enough about you he will work with you on the issues you have...there is many men that will not though...they want a woman that has no baggage and no problems i guess...i see a counselor and that does help...but we have to work on our issues ourself...there is some good men out there...i know that is hard to believe...i have went for the same kind of man and that does not help me at all....it is just we have to work on ourself and work on your self esteem...you are as good as any one out there....try to remember that and i know you are loved by someone and next time you think you just want to die think of those that you would hurt by such actions....i hope i have helped there is so much to say on this question....
2006-09-18 20:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please keep in mind that it’s OK to be afraid.
Fear is a common feeling to everyone. Therefore, the person by your side will not run always just because you are unless, he is also scared, and maybe even more than you.
It’s sounds to me like of you have someone who loves you and cares for you. If he is interested in you, concern for you own welfare, then look up to him, he needs you as much as you need him…
Trying to get over the past? Well, concentrate, not on what you might have lost or left behind, but in what you have now, in a beautiful present with a person who cares for you and is trying to work thing through.
Remember, the past is like salt on a good dish: a bit is a good seasoning - but too much will spoil it!!!
We’re all afraid, but we learn to live with it, to cope with it…
2006-09-18 20:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by etherberg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just enjoy the present. The past is gone and the future is uncertain. The old saying "today is the first day of the rest of your life" holds true in your case. Good luck.
2006-09-18 20:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look forward always that keeps you from looking back....experience brings knowledge and wisdom without the past we would not know what to do and not to do in the future...if this guy is nice do not allow the bad(past) guy ruin your future with a good guy..take back control of your life by using the past as a reference...not an enemy...and keeping the past in the present is the enemy
2006-09-18 20:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by april r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave the past where it belongs. in the past. you must of told your new man for him to say you had many issues. SO start anew with him. tell him from NOW on its only me & you. no more talking of the past only the future. yes you may think about it now & then BUT deal with it push it away & get on with your new life. good luck.
2006-09-18 20:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to heal youself and it sounds to me like you are not ready to date anyone yet. You are not ready yet. Take more time for yourself. There is someone out there for you and you will find him in time. Not all men will treat you bad. But take care of yourself first before you start dating someone.
2006-09-18 20:16:29 · answer #11 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋