2006-09-18 13:03:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
I really don't know. I'm in the same situation and it is pure living hell.'
2006-09-18 13:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother is going thru the same thing as you are. So, I can only share my experience with you.
First of all, what I noticed with my mom is that it was very difficult for her to understand that my grandma's dementia was not directed toward her in any way. But because of the strong mother daughter connection they have, my mother took it personally. I recently had the same experience when my husband had knee surgery and took his pain out on me. He couldn't help it, he was in so much pain. But, I couldn't separate it either, and understood how my mom was feeling.
If your mom is alert and aware and demanding a lot from you, then you need to set some boundaries. When there are things she asks you to do, you can do them, but if the timing is not good for you, let her know, "No I cannot do it for you today, but Tuesday I can do it for you." If she gets upset, let her own her own upsetness. Don't feel bad for saying no.
You have to keep in mind that once a person is sent to a long term care facility, they usually know they are going to end up dying there. That has to be hard to face, and sometimes, they just do things that bother you cuz they have given up or don't care about anything anymore.
Talk to your social worker as well, at the nursing home. It is possible that maybe your mother would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist. Many elderly people can have mental health problems, that can alter their behavior. The right diagnose and drug dosage can help her become more stable. This is something that happened with my grandma. I empathize with your situation. Please IM me if you need to, I will try and help out in any way I can...
Take Care,
Rachel
2006-09-18 14:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by rach_cast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by looking for a support group for yourself. Continue to visit your mom and be supportive even thought she is difficult. Keep in mind some of it is due to her aging and disease process. Also see what type of activities the long term facility has to offer and try getting her involved. It is a very hard situation. Another suggestion I have for you is take a day off, a mental health day for yourself and do something fun to take your mind off of it. You deserve a break too.
2006-09-18 13:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by spnky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look for a support group. sometimes the facility has one depending on how big it is or where you live. if it is getting so hard to deal with that you are unable to normally function within your day, i'd see a psychologist. it is hard to watch a parent decline like that. it's hard to accept that last stage of life and be at peace with the situation. don't let it get you depressed. try to confide in family members if you have them.
2006-09-18 13:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you should not neglect her, and you should not let her run your life. Can you find other people in that facility who she might be interested in forming friendships with? Does she have any interests? Encourage her to pursue her interests in this facility if she can.
2006-09-18 13:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not easy, i have been there, 1 year in and out of hospitals, rehab hospitals, nursing home then the final hospice..it was a terrible ordeal, but the way i held it together was my family and prayer, and a very supportive husband also..Good luck Look to family for support, look for a clergy, or the facilty where your mother is, may have support groups.
2006-09-18 13:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by kelly p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋