Am i overreacting?

Question

Well about a year ago i met a guy at work and we'd kiss and everything but nothing else because Im waiting until marriage.The problem was that this guy said i could NOT be his girlfriend unless I did it but ofcourse I never did. The sad thing is, is that I fell in love with him and he tells me that he likes me and that im beautiful and gorgeous. Well on his myspace (yeah its sad i know! lol) he wrote about some girl saying that shes the only girl that ould get anything out of him. I thought he was talking about me but wasnt sure so i asked. He said he was talking about his ex and that shes the only girl he can "love." Well I sent him a text message telling him that the same way he felt about his ex is the way i feel about him. Well he said he didnt know that. Well I took him off my myspace, deleted his number from my phone and ignored him when i saw him at his job. Am i overreacting? Or should I continue to be friends with him? What should i do?

To "Mr Peabody" i actually cant understand ur way of thinking. To me sex should be shared with 2 people that truly love each other. If sex is the reason a marriage is supposedly "ruined" then theres an even biggger issue. They just werent meant to be if they let that ruin it for them. Yes a guy whos willing to wait is very hard to find but my best friend has been with her guy for 3 years and she is also waiting till marriage. Theyve never cheated on each other and theyre as in love w/ each other since they began their relationship.So how'd they work out so well? They are TRULY in love. So dont try to say that a guy thats willing to wait is impossible because its not.

Answer 1

You should NOT have sex with a man just to please him or make him like you more so good for you! It shows that you have respect for yourself which is awesome because not many girls now days do. I don't think that you over reacted because it seemed that you were giving him hints on how you liked him but he was saying that it was only going to work if you guys had sex. If a guy is going to base a relationship on sex then all he is going to do is end up with a slut who he is going to fall for and she is going to cheat on him. Guys like that deserve to be with sluts cause they are just going to be treated as they treat their girls. You need a guy that will respect you in every aspect weather it's sex or religion or just whatever makes YOU happy. You did the right thing!

Answer 2

you're not over reacting, u did the right thing. first of all, he said that u had to give it up. guess u wasn't too pretty to have ur wishes disrespected. he claim he can't love any more, so don't pursue him, he runing after some one who has moved on, he's a chaser, don't u turn into one too. U did the right thing, and I don't care who says ur wrong, but u r looking out for u. ur heart isn't something to play with. Just continue to do you. When u wantred him, he didn't want u, so keep looking the other way, even if he do come around, don't even think twice.

Answer 3

You did right bcuz it seem like he was just looking for a hit. you know he will not marry you since his ex is the only girl he could love therefore you will not be intimate. Then on top of it he announces this on myspace. He doesn't love you now and won't then and don't give him any cat to keep him bcuz they will make you believe if you do it they will stay but it is a lie. Some guys are dogs like that.

Answer 4

I think you should trust your instincts. You went into a self protective mode for a reason. Perhaps in that split second you realized that you could not settle for being used for sex and not loved and adored as you should well expect to be when you decide its right to share your most intimate self. You did the right thing. You have self respect. When that more worthy person comes along, you will be glad you waited. You wont be bringing excess-baggage (memories of another) to the relationship. Expect to be still attracted to him, maybe even have your heart skip a beat, but that's one fella that you should treat like a "hot potato".

Answer 5

first off, any guy that only wants to have a girlfriend that will have sex with him isnt a good guy to have as a boyfriend.

secondly, now that he knows how you feel for him he is going to think that you will have sex with him because he thinks youll do whatever it takes to be with him. so, he might start acting interested in you just to sleep with you.

however, dont let his advances sucker you into doing what isnt in your heart and what you arent ready for yet in your life. sex changes everything. youll feel used and then he will wont show you the attention you want.

even if you dont have sex with him and you guys start dating, he already has said he can only love his exgirlfriend. this wont always be true for him, but until more time passes in his life the only girl he will ever care about wholely will be his ex. he wont give other girls what they need in a boyfriend

so, finally, my advice.

since you work with him you need to keep it just that... a relationship just like the relationships you have with your other coworkers. dont get buddy buddy with him cause you will continue to want what you cant have. his heart isnt ready for someone new.

Answer 6

No offense and no disrespect, but you're going to have a lot of trouble finding a man willing to wait until marriage. And, who's to say your going to like the kind of man willing to wait? It's hard enough finding a compatible partner let alone adding obstacles.

His actions tell me he's not the kind of guy who is going to be willing to wait. He may not want to be so bold as to say that, so as not to hurt your feelings or you to judge him for feeling that way. My gut feeling is you did him a favor by "disappearing".

Frankly, I can't understand your way of thinking. Sexual compatibility is a big part of a marriage. Would you be willing to wait to see what a guy's financial state is until marriage? Surprise, I'm broke and unemployed! Would you be willing to wait to meet his parents until the wedding day? Why not, you'll spend less time with them than having sex (at least one hopes so).

Waiting is like getting one of those "grab bag" prizes at the fair - you never know what's going to be inside, but it's rarely if ever anything you'd ever want. If sex is not important to you, then you should be honest and just say that. At least then the guy knows what he's in for.

I've known a couple of women that stood by their convictions of "waiting for marriage". Neither of them ended up in happy marriages - sex ending being one of the major issues (surprise, surprise). One apparently never really wanted to have sex at all - her convictions were just a convenient excuse. The other, turns out is ultimately not compatible with the type of man who is willing to wait until marriage. She's since found the right man after a few sexual partners and a little more dating with open eyes.

But hey! Good luck with that.

Answer 7

No, you are not overreacting. Only be friends if you think he respects your wishes, and if you think you can handle it. Don't ever let anyone talk you into something you're not ready to do. Congratulations on making the decision to wait until marriage. Not only are you saving yourself a lot of heartache, but you will be giving the man you marry a very special gift. :)

Answer 8

Good for you delaeting him and taking his number off your phone.You are way too good for him to begin with.He couldnt respect the fact you want to wait until you got married....Let him be and movvvvveeeeeeeee onnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! To many men out there that will treat you with respect.

Answer 9

omg!! thats almost the same as cheatig..b freinds now..not too close tho...keep distance dont talk more than 2 times a day..heres a good website 4 advice:
tiptopwebsite.com/nikki_11
good luck

xxxx,
daddys gal

Answer 10

He obviously only wanted you for sex. He goes and tells you he likes you then turns around and says that his ex is the only one he can love. You didn't overreact.