I've been with my baby's daddy for 2 yrs on Oct.15 and am scared that my actions are gonna **** up my relationship. I love him because he loves me for me and i don't want to lose that. he porpose to me when i was 8 1/2 months with our son and i really want to be with him for tha rest of my life i really do!! but i don't know why i want to be with other guys.... i think about what will happen if i did and it will not be a pretty sight for me or our son! i don't want to be alone is that a bad thing or is that why i don't want to leave him? i can't talk to him about this because he will take this out of porpotion. He said if we ever brake up he will be there for his son but he will have nothing to do with me. I JUSS DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE! what should i do?????
2006-09-18 12:18:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to be honest with yourself, first and foremost.
You sound young, and when you are young it is easy to be confused about the way you view things. Staying with him simply because you don't want to be alone cheats both of you out of the possibly of fulfilling relationships with other people.
Hardly anyone will tell you they don't think about other people when they are married or engaged. The difference is most of them realize that even though there may be others they can have relationships with, they chose their partner for reasons important to themselves.
If you feel you love your boyfriend and can stay out of illlicit relationships, by all means, marry him.
But if you feel you will not be able to fight off temptation, don't put yourself or him into to position of possible heartbreak. Move on, let him be a father to the child, and make your life elsewhere, free of hindrances until you find the man to whom you can be true.
Until you are able to be happy being alone, what makes you think you will be happy with someone else? They can't fill any voids you can't better fill yourself.
When you are able to share yourself and your life without any motives but love, then look for a relationship.
Learn to take care of yourself and your child. Get a career so you are better able to do so. You will feel better about yourself and your future. Financial independence and freedom are very important to self esteem.
Good luck
2006-09-18 12:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're with him because you're afraid of being alone, you're not being fair to him, your child or yourself. If you're still wanting to be with other men, you're not committed to this man, and you'd be doing the absolute wrong thing marrying him. I'd suggest premarital counseling at a church or a family counselor, that way you can find out if you're with him for him, or because he's a warm body.
Love is a beautiful thing, it's warm, loving, giving, forgiving, it's kind and generous, patient and never jealous. Love is the feeling that you like who you are when you're with him, he makes you want to be a better person, the person he sees, it's knowing you could live without him, but couldn't imagine living with anyone else.
Love is timeless, love is forever.
Make sure you're in love with this man, he deserves that, someone who will love him wholly and unconditionally, not someone who's with him because she's afraid to live alone.
Be fair, to everyone, get some counseling before you make the biggest mistake of your life, one way or the other.
2006-09-18 12:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by Angeleyes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No u dont love him, if u loved him, u wouldnt Need to be with another man, and if u were a really good mom, u wouldnt want to do anything to messed up ur chances of being a complete family something a child should have every chance at having..
2006-09-18 12:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your question? It's ok to want to be with other guys if you have never experienced it. But you have to make a choice whether to be single and date, or to be married and to only be with your guy. Don't let your fear of "being alone" keep you in a bad relationship - but don't trash a good relationship just because you wanted to "be with other guys". It's easy to find "other guys", but it's soo hard to find a good relationship.
2006-09-18 12:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 03:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the crap. Either stay with him or break it off with him. You want to be with other guys because deep down you know you deserve his trust. If you don't want to be alone resign yourself to being with him and go with it. Put the cheating crap out of your mind. He proposed then get married. That way when you go off the rails and get caught cheating he can divorce you and get custody.
2006-09-18 13:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't love him. Maybe you just love the fact you guys have a child together. If you want to be by yourself then go on because after a while it will become hard not to display your unhappiness.
2006-09-18 12:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
temptation....thoughts...these things are normal...what you do with them will define you! If you are strong you will put them out of your head! If you are just a product of your environment which is lust everywhere...then you are weak and do not deserve your man, nor the man-child you are raising! Marry the man and be strong...if you need help become a Christian and practice Christianity....and be better at being a Christian than anyone...be better at being a mother than anyone...be better at staying married than anyone....get focused girl! This is your life...don't let Satan destroy it!
2006-09-18 12:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah...worry about what you are going to do. You have a child, you love the father, and you want other men?
For once, just once consider what is best for the child and not your selfish butt. Go with what is best for the child and get married. Be glad you have someone that loves you for you!
2006-09-18 12:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Remember that old saying, "the grass is always greener..."?
If you go ahead and act on your impulse to be with other guys, you will be disappointed. Fantasies are always better than reality.
Keep what you've got -- and try to make it better.
2006-09-18 13:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Peggy M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋