help me please....im scared.....?

Question

ok so im 16 and 5 months along...but i was raped. i have decided to keep the baby. hes due february 8,2007. im so scared. i dont know how to prepare? what to do? i already know his name and i love him with everything i have. i just need advice, help, and support right now. thanks everyone


oh and for those who have talked with me...his name will be Terrance Zachariah Johnson

thanks again everyone

love always
J

Answer 1

wow..very brave of you to keep the baby! The fact that you already love this baby is enough...money, help from friends and family will flow naturally. Just make sure you have enough emotional and physical support from those around you, especially the first month after birth - you're going to be tired, completely drained and may be very emotional. For financial prep, just start buying the things you can control - diapers of different sizes, baby wipes, formula (if u don't intend of breast feeding), pack the baby bag for that season so you are ready to go; make sure you take care of yourself as well. Get plenty of REST...enjoy the experience, because it won't ever be repeated. The second pregnancy is never the same as the first. It can be very scary, but once he makes his entrance, time will fly and you laugh at yourself for being so nervous. Good Luck! beautiful name!

Answer 2

The best things to get now is a baby book on care. You can also get free baby care lessons from the red cross. Also some hospitals give classes on hoe to do diaper changes, bathing, caring for the belly button, take temperature and feed. The La Leche League will teach you how to breast feed of you want this also. Some companies will send you free info, like Gerber and Pampers, and Jonson&Johnson (look below)
No you'll need some towels, washcloths, baby clothes, diapers, baby bath wash gel, some baby oil, some diaper rash cream, some bottles and nipples if you'll bottle feed. You may need a bassinet or crib, and blanky. Maybe get a wind-up musical mobile to go over the crib. Try and find some support for later, who can babysit? How are the better pediatricians? Where are the baby stores? Who has the best prices on baby formula and baby food?
For the birth, prepare by having a bag ready, with a few baby things, a nightgown for you, some personal effects... practice by doing some mommy yoga. Do Lamaze classes with a close friend or family member.

The fact that you are worried, shows that you will be a loving, caring and giving mother...I hope the above helps you! Your baby will be a blessing for you!

Answer 3

Do you have family to help you? If not contact a local planned parenthood/Family Service organization. They can help with counseling, parenting classes, etc.

Read all you can so you know what to expect. Talk to other mothers. Remember you are 16 and a new mother so you aren't going to be perfect. We were all first time mothers once. Being scared is normal.

Read, buy the necessities, find someone you can trust and depend on when you have questions once the little guy has arrived and first and foremost, trust your instinct. Once you become a mother you will know in your gut what to do.

You think you love him now, just wait. There is nothing like it. A tragedy brought him to you. A blessing out of bad. I am so proud of you for making the decision to keep the child. I think that alone makes you a very caring and mature woman.

Answer 4

First of all..do your research. You are very brave and have much love. Go to the library an read all you can on babies. See if there are any Bradley classes in your area. Just remember, all will come to you in time. It's called instincts. When that beautiful child is put in your arms and your eyes meet, it will be love at first sight and you can do no harm. (and I say beautiful because I have delivered some hemorrhoid ugly babies...but to their moms they are always beautiful) Relax..don't worry. You pass all of that to your baby. Love him before he's born. You take in information to be a teacher, nurse, counselor. Read and take in to be a mother. Speak with other mothers. But in the long run, everything will come to you. After all, this will be your best friend for life. And one thing we do not want to have is regrets. Life is short and by the time you turn around, he will be grown. Enjoy every second. Be a good example. Teach him how to love all things, how to have empathy and respect. Most of all, how to be a good husband and daddy some day. You can do it. I wish you well but I have no doubt at all that you can do it...So melt (relax)

Answer 5

I commend you for your courage. What I hope that you are doing right now is getting counseling while you are pregnant and after. I am not saying that this is going to happen but because of the circumstances on how you got pregnant. There is a slight chance that if times get bad you may blame this child. Please take all the precautions that you can and get the help. Go to garage sales to buy a lot of the things that you will need. Babies don't stay in any one outfit log enough to wear it out so save yourself some money. Some of the things that you may need Bottles (even if you are breast feeding you need some), receiving blankets, Start buying diapers now but don't just but the newborn get some larger sizes too, heavier blankets, baby bed, mobile, burp towels, bibs, socks, changing table, car seat, swings are nice to have when they start to hold themselves up a little, toys, extra sanitary napkins for yourself, and anything that you can think of that you may be able to buy now and relieve the burden on yourself for when the baby comes. Check out if your Area has w WIC (women, infants, and children) program. They will help you get nutritious foods for you and your baby. Good Luck

Answer 6

You are an extraordinary & courageous woman. My heart sighed when I read your story. I am very sorry about what happened to you, and I hope that the guy is caught.

As someone else said, your parents and family should be the first line of support for you. You may want to talk with a social worker in your city or county, your local hospital, or a Catholic church - one of them should have a support group for young mothers in your area. You can get a lot of support from them.

You should be seeing an OB-GYN frequently to check on the baby and make sure the pregnancy is going well. Your doctor will also have a lot of information for you on what to expect and how to get prepared.

Your priorities should be your own health, a healthy diet, some exercise, plenty of sleep and things will take care of themselves for your baby. If you are still in school, perhaps your teachers can accomodate you with an adjusted workload of classes. Talk with your school's nurse or someone you can confide in at you school.

My prayers are for you and your son.

Answer 7

You're very brave - but that doesn't mean you won't get scared. It's perfectly natural. The future will be very tough for you... but you have a lot of love, and enough love can carry you through anything.

There is so much you can do to prepare. Find a church or community service group in your local area, and ask what sort of resources they have for new moms. Look in your phone book under Pregnancy for support groups. Go to your local library and check out every book they have on pregnancy and parenting. Ask a friend or family member to coordinate a baby shower (you can register for a baby wish list on Amazon.com).

Try to figure out the big things: how will you afford the baby's necessities (food, diapers, medical)? will you work? will you stay in school? who can help provide child care? Once you get these big questions answered, you will feel much calmer.

Also, get yourself a small blank notebook. In it, brainstorm ideas of what you want for your son, then write a short list of promises to him. Keep it simple, but meaningful - "I promise I will always be there on your birthday. I promise you will have a puppy. I promise you will finish school. I promise that you will always eat grandma's famous stuffing on Thanksgiving. I promise you will never go hungry. I promise I will never throw away your favorite stuffed animal." Things like that. You may not be able to give your son many things, fancy material things; but you will always know that you gave him the things that truly mattered.

best of luck!

Answer 8

This is a very brave thing that your doing and I want you to know that if you ever need help, you can write to me anytime. Check with your local WIC or Welfare office. They have lists of resources to help young mothers. I ahd my first at 19 and they helped me find a pregnancy care center that gave me clothes, formula, diapers, car seat, high chair, toys, bottles, diaper bags, a crib and mattress, even matternity clothes. All I had to do was watch videos and that earned me " baby bucks" I used those to buy all those things. I also returned the favor by donating everything when my daughter outgrew it back to them. There are many places like this in all states and countries. You can even check your local united way for resources. Great name for him and good luck honey! Being a mom is the most difficult but also the most rewarding job on the planet!

Answer 9

My baby was born almost a year ago, I am the oldest so didn't have any older sister or brothers that I could talk, and my mom, well we are not that close, so I read every paper I could get my hands on, and I still was not prepared, you get so excited and scared you forget most of what you read, well I had to get a c-section done, and once I saw my baby I forgot about every thing, and once my baby was in my arms she fell asleep she was my own little angel and I thanked good, so try not to worry to much and enjoy being pregnant and being pamperd, don't worry to much and your baby will be much more happier he doesn't want his mom to wory to much. Have Fun :)

Answer 10

You're very brave! Be prepared for sleepless nights, crying for no apparent reason, and your baby wanting to be held as soon as you step into the shower or start to eat a meal. BUT also be prepared for that first smile, first tooth, first laugh, first steps, lots of hugs, and so much love! You are so very lucky. Treasure this time and take it one day at a time. At the end of the day, this is YOUR baby and you will take the best care of him.