My fiancé had a little girl 2 weeks ago due to a drunken one-nite stand with her best friend. It happened before we met and she found out when she was 6 months pregnant, it doesn't bother me that I’m not the dad but my girlfriend doesn't want to see me and every time I try and contact her she is always busy and she tells me that I am going to drive her away with contacting her every couple of days but the past 4 times we have arrange to meet something always crops up and she cant see me.
She is the love of my life and I’m scared that I will loose her not to her friend because she has told me that she wants her the baby and me to be together but I just want to meet my step daughter and get to know her but it is eating me up inside the fact that she wont let me see her or the baby and I don’t know what to do and it is now starting to affect my heath all the worrying I’m doing.
2006-09-18 11:20:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your Fiance has some real problems(so do YOU!) She said, she wants you in her and the baby's life, but won't let you see either of them? This child is NOT your step-daughter YET. I would suggest you distance yourself from this and get some professional help. An old saying "you can't see the forest for the trees". Open your eyes and see what this situation is!
2006-09-18 11:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are either the most wonderful man on the planet or a fool and this relationship has many obsticals to over come before there is any talk of being step-dad to her baby.
Finding out she was pregnant after a one night stand must have been a huge shock to her and also along the way she met you.Who has offered her devoted love, responsibility and committment she must be so confused especially since she has just given birth.
She really needs her space at the moment as she is trying to get used to her new role as a mom and trust me that is a full time occupation.Her hormones will be all over the place and having someone who is so devoted is obviously to much for her to handle. This may be for many reasons, she feels guilty, she is worn out and has not got time for you at present,perhaps "dad" is on the scene or there may be pressure from family the list is endless.
You will loose her if you keep on and on to her so my advise is to give her some space, maybe write her a letter about how you feel so at least you know in your mind you have let her know how you feel and that your intentions are for the best. At the end of the day you have to give her what she is asking and give her the space she will respect you more for it. If you do not hear off her you will know she is not intrested and it may be for the best. There are many women who would give their right arm to have someone like you in their lives and you remember that if things do not work out with her.
2006-09-18 23:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by momof3 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is feeling a little depressed and hormonal after giving birth. It may be that she feels guilty, not because she cheated on you (cos it sounds as though she never) but rather because this is going to be a big thing for you as well. I know you said you are not bothered, but it is a big thing to take on anothers child and she probably realises this. I would say its down to hormones. you seem a nice and decent person if you are prepared to make a go of it with her ( a lot wouldnt) I know its hard, but try and give her a little space to get her head arounf being a new mum etc. I'm sure she will contact you when she needs you. Good luck
2006-09-18 11:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by Charley G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she has just had the new baby she will probably be knackered as she wont be getting much sleep, however if you are to ever bond with the baby then you need to start soon, if she doesnt let you see her at least thn i would leave her, there's not many blokes that would put up with someone elses baby and then also the way your being treated, maybe time to move on even if its hard, i would make her chase you and then that will tell you if she really wants you
2006-09-18 11:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by damien r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this relationship will work for you in the long run. You're a great guy to care about this little girl but it is not really fair that you have to be responsible for bringing up this girl who is the result of a one night stand. You will have children of your own one day and this is going to create problems with money, relationship and a lot of things. If your girlfriend can have drunken one-nite stands, is she the type of woman who deserves your respect and commitment. If you're still young, you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet someone who doesn't bring with her a burden like this. Why ruin your life by getting involved with a woman who's going to be a liability in your future? I may sound harsh and cold to you now but my life experience tells me that this relationship does not sound right now and will have little chance of bringing you happiness in the future. If your girlfriend doesn't want you to see her, respect her wishes and move on.
2006-09-18 12:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women's emotions and hormones are completely whacked out around pregnancy and birth. Give her time to settle in with her new baby and time for all her hormones to relax and normalize. Send her a card and some flowers, tell her you love her and can't wait to see and her the baby, and then just wait... It'll probably be torturous for a little while, but that way you wont drive her away. New moms can sometimes be crazy for the first few weeks...
2006-09-18 11:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by The New Mrs. Nguyen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that she is feeling very guilty right now about what happened. Not to mention that remember, she did just have a baby. Her hormones are going through the roof right about now and even the slightest thing can set it off. I know I went through this same thing with my soon-to-be ex and when our son was born, I had a hard time letting him near him. But my suggestion is give her a little breathing space and sooner or later she will come around. I'll pray for you all during this time.
2006-09-18 11:26:03 · answer #7 · answered by babycakes2877 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How a lot training do you've left? Daycare receives intense priced will your income be able to address each and every of the funds? if so then pass for it! My buddy change into on zoloft even as she were given pregnant and he or she did tremendous. (even if all women get emotional and performance anxieties even as pregnant). Your courting along with your hubby would get more beneficial positive after yet another toddler or no longer--that's each and every of how you're taking care of it. My hubby and that i wanting to have toddler #4 and we couldn't be happier with one yet another. for sure there is lines which include money, time on my own, etc. yet you merely stay and study and get with the help of it quicker or later at a time. even in case your decision is, I favor you the finest of success!
2016-10-16 01:16:13 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm... dude... she wants to end this relationship but just hasn't figured out how to tell you. Her priorities have changed for some reason (or for no reason). but non-communication is a huge sign.
If you really care for her.. contact someone close to her (sister, mother, whatever) and have them talk to her and see if she's going through post-partum depression. If thats not it then you need to have a discussion with her about terminating the engagement.
Don't be a stalker- be a stand up guy and if she wants out.. let her out. The baby isn't yours and isn't even your step-daughter at this point.
2006-09-18 11:25:51 · answer #9 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is that may be she is just feeling guilty and sorry for that one night stand,she had with her best friend.or may be she just wanna be with her best friend and make things work for the future of the baby.I think you should give her some time to get normal and come to a decision that wat exactly she want out of her life and wats best for her baby too.
Dont push urself on her and dont force her to meet you or let you see the baby.from my experience of life i want you to be her biggest supporter in life now and justsupport in watever she wanna do for herself and her baby.
Dont force her to meet you.Dont do that .When we push our decisions on others we kill the relationship and we take ourself away from them.Although we dont want that.But we just do it unintentionally.
Just call her and tell her That u are always there for her and you wanna see her and the baby.And how much you miss her,how ur life is incomplete without her.
Leave rest to god,he is watching us and he has everything good for us.Dont worry,Give her some time.Dont keep calling her,u will just annoy her more.
Good luck.Close your eyes and pray to god .If ur love is true ----she will be urs.
2006-09-18 11:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋