Im a mom and I know have to be responsible for that area of my life, but I have no energy and I cant let my man know or he use this against me in a fight...I dont know what to do.
2006-09-18 11:19:35 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
... And you expect US to care....?
Sorry... that may seem a bit cruel... you must take control of your life. Take yourself for a walk, breathe some fresh air, talk to your kid(s) and start to feel like a human being again. Being a parent is very demanding but you must find time and space to be yourself every day - if only for 30 minutes.
2006-09-18 11:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't say what exactly it is that you're going through. Is it a divorce, menapause, etc.? Whatever it is though, please get some help. I went through something like that last summer. I was so sad and angry and I didn't have any idea why. Everything in my life was fine. But I did go to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft for a month and it did help. You need to force yourself to do things, too. Go out with a friend for dinner, take a class you always wanted to take, spend more time with your children and do something fun with them. Go for counseling or go to your doctor. As far as your man not understanding, I've been there too. I had an ex- husband like that. I had to be happy 24\7. Not possible for anyone. I finally left. And you know what? Now I'm happy. It's very hard sometimes to let go of something but if it's better for you in the long run, do it. You just might be a lot happier! It'll be your chance to start all over! It's exciting! Please take care and know that other people are out there that are feeling exactly like you. You will be alright!!!
2006-09-18 11:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by November 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same exact way. I asked about men that don't help at home, and the moms/wives are left feeling like maids and babysitters. I love my babies, but my husband takes that joy away by not participating in anything. But yet want to pull his pants down for a good time. I am sooooo stressed out and drepressed. My life is gone, my joy and ambition....gone. My world consist of my kids. I love them with all my heart, I just wish I had a man that put in as much work as I do.
2006-09-18 13:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is abusive and it's not your fault. Get the kids and get out. Find a shelter for battered women. He puts you down all the time. Right? I'll pray for you and the kids.
You have the option of leaving the kids behind. He'll be in a pickle then.
I don't understand. I'm a father and husband. Family is a team work thing.
You're not happy and he's to blame. His job is to make you happy as a husband.
Find a women's support center or therapist to talk with to sort things out for yourself.
Depression is common, but often it is induced by uncontrolable conditions and frustration. That you can change.
2006-09-18 11:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depression is a serious thing...see your doctor...he can prescribe something that can help. I battled with depression a few years ago and I felt the only thing that was keeping me alive were my children and because of my husband and other family members telling me I ought to start talking some "crazy pills", I tried to deal with it on my own. It wasn't until my daughter, who was then 4years old, was just sitting there crying and I asked her what was wrong and she looked up at me and said "I'm playing you mommy..cuz that's what you do" that I realized that I needed help. I went to my doctor who prescribed something to help. I was on them for about a year, but it really helped. Don't let you husband or anyone else stop you from taking care of yourself! Because if you can't do that, then you won't be able to take care of you children or anyone else. There is no shame in seeking help when you need it.
2006-09-18 11:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although this is just a temporary fix...try to focus all your remaining energies on your child(ren). They care that you care! I know it's tough...I've been there when it seems like there's no reason to go on.
As for your man, consider letting him know about how you are feeling. If he truly cares for you, he will want you to feel better.
Is there any way for you to go see a doctor and get some sort of screening? The faster you get help, the better....whether it's talk therapy or medicine. Heck, your mood could even be due to nutritional deficiencies. You gotta take care of yourself first!
Best of luck. You can email me if you would like. Hang in there...the clouds will pass...
2006-09-18 11:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by everfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that being a mom too. Men sometimes think that we should work..cook.,,clean...laundry..take care of kids including them,,,and we dont get tired. All the while they work come home and do nothing. Just know you have to stay strong for your kids,,and keep doing what needs to be done. That you are the stronger person in the relationship. For your kids you should be able to stay strong. But if you are not happy with your man then you need to leave,and take your kids with you.
2006-09-18 11:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out and get some fresh air, find some other moms that have kids about the same age and meet with them for coffee and a chat. dont just stay home all day. if its an infant put the child in a carriage and go for a walk around the block. find a bookstore or a coffee shop, library or someplace like that and go for a 1/2 hour or an hour. you'll feel like you did something and feel better.
2006-09-18 11:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you by chance suffering from "the baby Blues"? (how old are your children? If by chance you just had one recently up to 6 months ago you could be suffering from post par tum depression) Either way i think you are depressed. 1st get a counselor regardless of what you might think or what people might say.......they are always there to listen and by having one you might get to the root of your problem and 2nd if you end up fighting with your husband in court or otherwise a counselor on your side will only look good for you. Good LUCK hope you feel better soon.
2006-09-18 11:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by toogoodtobebad2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is going through this very thing now and has been for the past 6-9 months. We have tried every test known to check him for physical illnesses, but they all came back negative. Then we started talking to his Psychiatrist and he said that he thought he was displaying early signs of Dementia, (of course, he is 63 years old) , and he started him on some memory enhancing drugs, but they didn't help. Then he started saying that he was also showing signs of severe severe depression. He doesn't want to eat, wants to sleep 20 out of 24 hours a day, has forgone his personal hygeine, only wants to leave the house to go to town to the pharmacy to get his meds and then come home. He complains that he is weak, and has no energy and that he feels sick andhas no will to do anything and I have told him (as well as several family members,our 3 daughters, 2 of his family doctors, and the shrink) that he is going to have to force himself to eat,stay awake,exercise and try and exercise his memory cells...and it would not come easily at first....just as it didn't come on quickly...but that if your family and your life are worth living at all, then getting these things back will be worth it also.
So, my advice to you is, find someone that you trust to talk to and force yourself to try and get back the things that you used to enjoy in life. Don't get upset if it comes back slowly....just keep telling yourself how much your past life when it was pleasant used to mean to you.
You did not mention the ages of your children...are they old enough to where you can spend some time away from them to get yourself feeling better?
If you want to talk, I am a good listener...especially since I am going through this with my spouse right now. Just email me and I will be glad to help. I know how frustrating it can be. Hang in there.
2006-09-18 12:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by atthean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to force yourself to pick up the phone and call someone to get counseling for yourself. I totally relate, I was sitting in my car today wishing I could just no longer have to ptetend that everything is ok because I dont want to upset my daughters. Talking to my man is a joke, he makes fun or tells me im crazy , he doesnt want to hear my crap anymore. Truth is, if I could just talk to him and let him know im not ok, it would help but I finally gave up on that idea and if I can manage to hold it together for a few more days , I will get counseling for myself. It is so hard to suck it up for the kids sake , but aren't they worth it?:) Im praying you will get help for yourself. please let me know how you are doing in the future, maybe we could chat and help each other.
2006-09-18 11:33:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋