My best friend met this guy online, but even though she is very pretty and elegant, has a problem with her weight, he really liked her & said he loved her so much, she didn't really tell the guy about it, and the guy changed towards her after meeting, became distant, they still talk but not the same, she is heart-broken, what would you do?
I hate to see her like that. She has a lot going for her. (She hasn't been able to lose the weight)
2006-09-18 10:21:44 · 19 answers · asked by You are loved 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She looks really well put together, has curves, and is really good looking, but is very depressed, she doesn't look bad in my opinion, she should lose some weight though. (she attracts men like that)
2006-09-18 10:26:44 · update #1
Wouldn't it compensate because of the fact that his pictures were very old and he in person looked so different? Not for the better, worn out, much older and weird? I saw him, even if my friend is chunky, she is so much better looking, Idon't know
2006-09-18 10:31:28 · update #2
The guy lied about his height, she didn't say she was thin, she just didn't reveal how much she weights
2006-09-18 10:35:49 · update #3
he is obviously a moron, and she needs to be more honest...
2006-09-18 10:23:20 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even overweight people end up in healthy relationships; I think, a lot depends on their own acceptance of themselves, tho. At least in my experience, the overweight women who were comfortable with the way they looked were perceived attractive by the opposite sex in spite of their weight. But trying to hide it from a person you're meeting does nothing to promote a relationship. I'm afraid, she just has to get more comfortable with herself in this regard, and perhaps she will attract the right person. It's probably much more difficult for an overweight gal to meet someone online, since a lot of guys are looking at the stats rather than the "bigger picture". She could always try and invest in some professional photos that highlight her best features. No one likes to be deceived, and the guy she had been talking to might have been more receptive if he'd known in advance what he was "getting into". Some really nice photos could have either "prepared him" to meeting her - or saved her some time and heartbreak.
2006-09-18 10:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her to either lose the weight or tell the truth up front. Nobody likes having someone play games or mislead them...of course they are going to treat her differently after finding out that they have been talking to someone who misrepresented themselves. How would she feel if she met a guy on line who said he was 6'2" and then met him and he was really 4'8"??? I bet her opinion would change too. You can't start any relationship by pretending to be what you think the other person wants you to be...thats just wrong, people do it all the time, about a lot of different things but the one fact that never varies about something that starts that way is that it doesn't work out. Haven't you ever met a guy that 'pretended' to be the perfect guy only to date him for a while and then find out that isn't who he is at all?
2006-09-18 10:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is "keep on loving your friend" for who she is just as you have all along. And, be honest. She knows you love her and want what is best for her. So, encourage her to be honest and to love herself as she is "now." If she really wants to lose weight then perhaps, you can join with her to help....walk together, bike, jog, work-out...whatever the two of you want to do! This way, you are not only giving advice but taking an active part in helping her discover a better way to handle her insecurities. Lastly, encourage her to see her doctor if this is a true problem that needs addressing so that she can have medical guidance as well as your devoted friendship. You're a great friend!
2006-09-18 10:32:01 · answer #4 · answered by livn2sing67 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should have been up front about her appearance. If she led him to believe she was thin, then she caused this problem. If not, she should at least let him know so everything is out in the open. That way, no one would have wasted their time with getting their emotions involved if it was proven before hand that he wouldn't want her if she's chubby. And, if he really did like her, it wouldn't have mattered that she was chubby. If she's over weight, thats another story.
No one is naturally attracted to unhealthy looking people. Obesity is unhealthy. But chubby is attractive depending on what the guy likes.
2006-09-18 10:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should not have made a secret of her weight problem. There is no such thing as not being able to lose weight. Perhaps she needs some counseling on her eating and exercise habits. The bottom line is that being really overweight is unhealthy and it just isn't fair to your partner not to take care of yourself. On another note, meeting people on line and getting high expectations about how great it'll be when you meet face to face is absolutely crazy!
2006-09-18 10:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Zebra4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's most likely too late for this romance to happen, but if she has a weight problem, she needs to say that up front. Better to know it upfront than to meet, and discover it there. That really turns people off....not the weight problem in itself, but the fact that you lied about the weight problem. I met a nice lady fromt the net, and she had said that she had a weight problem in the beginning, so it went well for us. Just be upfront, and honest!
2006-09-18 10:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on without him or just keep him as a casual friend. He might change his mind about the weight issue; problem comes that he either doesn't like to be too close to overweight women and/or he doesn't like that he wasn't told before meeting her in person.
2006-09-18 10:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by Goldenrain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if it had as much to do about the weight as the deception of how she looked. Okay - it was probably the weight but I would spin it like he is distant because she was dishonest with her. She would still be down but it easier to be rejected on something that is your fault (lying about weight) than being rejected because she is chunky
2006-09-18 10:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by mamatohaley+1 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a terrific friend to want to ease her pain.
Unfortunately, the guy was a dolt and hung up on appearances. It will take some time for her to get past this so you can just be there to support and encourage her.
She will eventually meet someone who can appreciate who she is rather than what her dress size is.
2006-09-18 10:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I question all of his statements,if he truly loved her as he said he did,it wouldn't matter .Sounds to me like he was trying to hook up.The easiest way into a woman's pants is through her heart.She should move on and write it off as a jerk she met on line.Some men will say or do anything to get what they want,it gives the rest of us a bad name.
2006-09-18 10:27:16 · answer #11 · answered by Tom S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋