What should I tell my wife?

Question

My wife and I interviewed at the same company. She got the job and I didn't. She already has a great job and a chance to make supervisor at the current job. She will be making less money to begin with at the new job. She probably will not know about the supervisor's job before she has to give a notice. I know she thinks I am bitter, but I really think she should stay at the old job. How do I tell her this without making it a big issue?

Answer 1

Well if you have a good realationship with your wife. You should be able to talk to her and tell her how you feel.. She may have a good reason as to why she is wanting to leave you current job. She might already know about her possible promotion by feels like she is trap. Sometimes just change jobs is good. Really you do need to talk to whether you want to or not.

Answer 2

You may not be, but you do sound as if you are bitter. For the sake of your relationship, this is something you should drop. Instead you should be supportive of her and congratulate her on her new position. Sometimes it best to swallow your pride. I would look at it this way - if you didn't get the job it wasn't meant to be. There is an even better opportunity out there that would pass you by if you had gotten this job. Good luck and hang in ther, your best day is still to come.

Answer 3

If you are honest with yourself - I am sure a little bit of your motivation in wanting her to stay with her current company stems from a little jealousy. If you try to talk her out of it she will only resent you in the end. Have a co-worker she trusts and admires tell her about the possible supervisors job coming up. Then you need to stand back and let her make her own decision. If you try to influence her she will blame you if the new job fails or if she stays in the old one and is unhappy. You are in a lose-lose situation unless you stay out of it altogether.

Answer 4

First off, Never apply for the same job as your spouse. Your just asking for this kind of problem.

Second, Even if your not bitter, she may take it that way. Better to just drop the whole thing.

Answer 5

How did you feel about her interviewing for this job, prior to you knowing she got her position and you did not? Why did you not discourage her beforehand?

Bottom line, as long as the lower salary wouldn't be a serious issue, she needs to do what will help her be happiest and most satisfied with her career...be happy for her...support her...

...and perhaps you should apply for the position she's vacating?

Answer 6

Wow. Honestly for a pay cut why should she. It seems odd. Is there a reason she needs a new job? If you are truly not bitter, than be honest and talk to her. Hopefully she is an adult.

Answer 7

Dude, it's too late. She already landed the gig. Let it go, you'll find something better. Just forgive her and completely let it go, or you'll end up losing something so much more important than a new job. There'll always be another job. Your wife is your wife.

Answer 8

does this new job throw her in the direction of her dreams?

If so then I would say support her, I wish you had given more details about your situation , such as if you really NEED the money, but other than that, if your not bitter then why not let her go for it?

Answer 9

Say exactly what you just said, I know you are not bitter but she needs that confirmation. Assure that she will be better off at the same place.

Answer 10

Let her know that you care about her and just want her to be happy in her career, then break it to her. This isn't about who gets the best job in the family...and because she loves you and your family, I think she will take the time to listen to you.