how do you deal with a controling husband?

Question

my husband always wants things his way or he says nasty things to be or digs with remarks, How do I deal with this without getting into a big fight

Answer 1

Do what he says, women were made for men , not men for women

Answer 2

My husband is the same way, except he swears he isnt being mean. I just ignore him.

But, here is the best advice I can give you....

Weigh the good and the bad, and get out now before it gets any worst. If you prolong the issue and never really fix the problem your in for a nasty divorce or gosh knows what else.


I am in the same situation and I know it is easier said than done, but we need to get out now, before we become part of the statistics.

Answer 3

You can either allow him to continue to walk all over you or you can make a decision in how you expect to be treated in life.

I'm attaching a site you may want to check out to help you determine if you're dealing with just a controlling husband or if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship. You need to be extremely honest with yourself. If you do decide you're in an abusive relationship, then only you can take the steps to get yourself help. There's helping hands along the way but you have to do the majority of the work.

Good luck!

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm#emotional

Answer 4

One day, when you are both in a good space and not fighting, I would tell him that there are some things that really bother you. Your tone of voice should NOT be cutting or as if you are blaming him for something. In a vulnerable and true way, explain that you feel hurt by his controlling behavior. Ask him if he realizes that you feel like his behavior is hurting you... If he gets angry... tell him you wish to discuss it more later when he isn't upset... that you care about your relationship, do not want to build resentment and you need to let him know what is bothering you.

If he listens, suggest getting counseling if that is something you can do.

Most important, get help to work on these issues and bring them up when you aren't fighting.

Answer 5

Study up on passive aggressive behavior so you know what you are dealing with. I know it is easier to just do what he wants - go where he wants - have the friends he wants - eat at the restaurants he wants. Is this starting to sound like you don't have a life? Stand eye to eye and tell him to knock it off, you are in a partnership. How do bratty kids get their way? - if they make your life miserable enough you will give in - once you do they learn what works. Same thing here.

Answer 6

you permit him cool down till he consists of you. sometimes he looks for unfavorable techniques and reason depressed so quickly. you have 2 young ones on the way, he can no longer manage the rigidity by way of fact of bipolar. permit him to do something he want to try this provide him rigidity out and relax to have sparkling head, then confer with him while time is right. sometimes provide up isn't the purpose. shop the useful and purpose to be optimism to permit him be responsive to if he choose something. if he's heavily administration then that's a important concern. you go with some help or communicate to processional as they be responsive to so lots extra approximately bipolar disc order and the thank you to handle. He choose some help on the way too. He could get himself grow to be counselor. sometimes while he carry interior too long and snap out of it. it incredibly is the region the place it turn grotesque.

Answer 7

Kill him with comedy.

Make a hilarious remark when he starts giving demands.

If you give the digs back in fun form he can't even get mad. He'll just figure that he can't rattle your cage and the digs will begin to disintegrate.

Answer 8

Maybe you could suggest to your husband a couple of choices concerning on what you want from him .And say thank you for giving you such good tips. Sometimes you must treat hard headed guy like little kids to "con" them into your way .

Answer 9

Well you beat yourself already...'without getting in to a big fight'...thats a clue, you want to avoid an argument, he knows that and he uses it, he pushes knowing full well you won't push back...so whats to stop him? Men don't understand things unless they experience them for themselves. You have to be willing to give back as good as you are getting. I did and it changed everything around here. Mine was ridiculous, would say awful things, no matter how much I tried to explain the lasting damage these things do he didn't get it, UNTIL I got ssooooooo sick of it that I just let him have it...he watches what he says now and its like magic...because before he 'couldn't control it' now suddenly he can. I taught him that I could be just as awful as he can, but that I choose not to, he now has an appreciation for that. As long as you keep taking it he's going to keep doing it. You teach people how to treat you and you have taught him that he can do it and you are going to not only stick around, but do whatever it takes to avoid a fight...time for a new lesson plan. Really its about you making a decision...if you change nothing then nothing will change, when you really get tired enough of putting up with it you'll choose to do something about it. Men are soooooo easy to get to, its not even a challenge to figure out what to say that will bug them for days....a penis or sexual performance comment and they are done for! When he comes to you and asks if you meant it you just say no I didn't mean it but you needed to learn a lesson about the power of words, I decided to teach you one, you left me no choice I tried everything else. Be aware that I can be just as horrible as you can, but I choose not to, if you want me not to do it again I suggest you change your ways. It really is like magic, you won't believe it.

Answer 10

you cant no matter how hard you try. i was married to a guy like that and well i got a divorce from him after i found out that he was messing around with like 6 other women while we were married. we had two beautiful kids so i look at it as he gave me atleast two good memories. if it gets too bad hun get out.

Answer 11

From experience..........get out as soon as you can.I was married to a man like that and it's no way to live.I knes a woman that was shot and killed by her husband in front of her children.The oldest ended up killing himself later.get out now!