Advice on handling a difficult friend...?

Question

I'll try to keep this short...I have been friends with this person since I worked for her several years ago when I was a student. She's only a few years older than me. I have since returned to this company and we have resumed the friendship.

The problem is, the "friendship" is extremely one-sided. I'm expected to listen to long speeches about her diets, class papers, and her husband's sleeping habits, etc. That wouldn't be a problem, except she barely acknowledges anything going on in my life...especially things that are fairly major like breakups and serious illnesses in my family!

We go out to lunch, and she always pays (although I make more). Also, she's somewhat overweight and married; while I'm single and told on a regular basis that I'm the most attractive woman in the company, however I don't flaunt it or go around flirting with a lot of guys.

Any advice on how to get her to be a friend to ME?

I've tried to bring this up with her...she apologizes up one side & down the other and then starts it all over again. Her other hobby is setting me up with guys and doing her best to monitor the relationships. She calls it "social experiments."

(She's married & gets laid more than I do!)

Answer 1

She isn't your friend.

Answer 2

BB, u really need to let ur friend how u feel, dat's always rule #1, when u always have things bottled up inside, it just creates more problems, and may one day come out the wrong way that could ruin ur friendship with this person 4ever, u must gain courage to let her know, alright. Secondly, if u do tell her how u feel and she is still the same way, then wat u need to do is push ur self away from here for a while, not far away, but i mean give u and her some space, when u do so, dat's when she will see how good of a friend u r, and dis might prompt her to change her ways, this method always works for me, and at the end, i gain respect, and am able to let my friend know when i'm having a problem with them. Hope this helped ciao.

Answer 3

Well coming from a regular 15 year old, I go thru most of this at school and trust me sometimes it makes you think whether you really want to be friends with them in the first place but its simple just try talking to her. Be straight-forward and direct the conversation. Your a well educated women who deserves respect and should be treated like one. If she doesnt see eye to eye with you then more than likely she isnt a good friend to keep. Hope it all works out. ;-)

Answer 4

You can try, "Susan, you know I'm happy to listen to you however there are times I need to talk about something going on in my life." If she's capable of being a friend, then she'll yield the floor to you. However there are some people who are not capable of a true friendship and she may well be one of them. Choose your friends carefully.

Answer 5

This is difficult! Sounds to me that she is very jealous of you! Not only that - she is extremely unhappy in her own life. I have no doubt that she has no clue what she is doing. Listen closely next time you two talk. See if she is unhappy. She is definitely lonely - that's why she always pays. Maybe a straight forward talk will help. But really listen to what she says and how she says it next time. Then you will be able to proceed on your own.

Answer 6

I am really sorry you're going through this too. I have been a magnet to these types of "friendships" as well and it is really uncool. She sounds really dominating too. I usually start hanging out with other people (ignore the person) when this starts to happen- they usually grow sick of it and cling on to someone else. I really don't know if this is the right answer for you, but I do know its not your obligation to be her sounding board.

Answer 7

Tell her this, not us. If you bring that up with her and she's really a friend, then she'll understand and try to compensate. If she's not willing, she's obviously got a stick up her *** and isn't worth the trouble.

Answer 8

Get her laid