Did you feel like you change after being together for a while/ especially after a baby and job and stress?

Question

Me and my "husband" (not married yet) have been together for 4 years, and have one daughter and the last 2 yeasrs we have had enormous stress, and it has taken a toll on our relationship we wnat to be together very bad and we love eachother so much but we want things like they were before, At times I feel depressed about my body because of my pregnacy weight. I just wnat things to be the way they were any suggestions? How do i put the spark back in our life and be a happy family like we were before we got all stressed out!

Answer 1

the stress is normal in every couple but after having a baby nothing ever is the same

Answer 2

I am in the same situation right now. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We weren't ready for it yet. I became pregnant. We have money problems. The baby came and added stress. Now our lives revolve around her. We are also living with my family because we just moved from NM and need a place to stay. It is so horrible. All I can say is, if you are depressed about your body, like I am, then you should look into something like weightwatchers or even sparkpeople.com. Once you feel good about yourself your attitude will change and everything will feel so much better. Goodluck to you!

Answer 3

If you are not married, don't call him your husband, quotes or no quotes. The only way to become a happy family is to get married! Then you will have no stresses or worries about commitment! When you are secure in a married relationship, you realize that each of you changes as you age and grow, and it's a good thing because you will do it together the rest of your lives.

Answer 4

abolutely - people change especially with all the outside factors - baby, job, stress. it's up to you 2 to make it work - baby weight can be lost with dedication and hard work, so that's a no-brainer. More important is making time for the 2 of you - do a date nite once a week alone & then have wild sex - try to get a sitter, even if you pay back a friend with free babysitting on another nite. time alone is essential to keep the relationship - i always said i was gonna do that but somehow never found the time - i am now divorced and feel that had a lot to do with it - we definitely drifted apart.

Answer 5

That's tough, My wife and I went through financial difficulties and it is very hard on the relationship, but you have to remember unless your man just doesn't want to work you cant blame each other. As far as bringing a spark back to the relationship, I have just been focusing on my wife, trying to make her happy. Because what it comes down to in this crappy life is the people/person you love. Not money. Almost forgot we have been married for more than 10 yrs and while most of that my wife has focused on the relationship it is only recently that I have.

Answer 6

Absolutely! And after even more life events, the big stresses and the daily headaches, you will both change even more.

In my experience, one of two things seems to happen: couples change and grow apart, or change and grow together. The change and growth parts are almost unavoidable. You wouldn't want to avoid them. The critical thing is to keep communicating - not just for the benefit of your partner, but verbalizing your thoughts helps you to formulate them - and your partner, who should also be your friend is an excellent sounding board.

The big mistake I see couples making is they start to *fear* that they are growing apart and so they try to hide it by not telling their partner. If you both see the issue, that's a critical hurdle already overcome.

You cannot tackle this as a single issue but saying "I feel like we are changing what should we do?" Look at each area and manage it bit by bit. You said you feel depressed about your baby weight. What do you want to do about that and how can your partner support you? Now his turn, what is bothering him and what does he want to try? How does he want you to support him?

You can do this...you see the problem, now start solving it.

Best wishes.

Answer 7

Things are going to change. But it is all in how you handle change that decides where you are headed. Try and do some couple things like date night once a week or at the very least once a month, try doing things you used to do. Cuddle on the couch late at night when the kids are in bed. Dress sexy for him (start a diet and excercise routine to feel better about yourself), take baths together. Something that I do for my husband that he loves...put love notes in his lunch EVERY day.

Answer 8

You seem to be so busy looking at your losses. How about the gains? There must be some. Growth, knowledge, you've gained experience.

If you love each other so much, now is the time to work on moving forward. You cannot go back, sorry, in the adult world, there is only growth and change.

And what's wrong with that? Take stock kids, there must be SOMETHING positive about your life or something you can take control of.

Answer 9

That is the basis of a relationship, that when things change, you adapt to them, when the pressure is on, you still stand for the strength of your relationship. You have to decide that you are still sexy. Look at your self everyday and see the beauty in your self. when you pull away from him, you make him uncomfortable. You have to know that you are still sexy. Sexy is not a look, it is an attitude and if you don't have it, develop it. If he loved you then, he loves you now, but HONEY, love yourself. That will make your relationship stronger.

Answer 10

You have to make a happy life with where you are NOW. Nothing will EVER be the same after babies come. They just aren't and you are going to have to get over that.