My wife and I have trust issues because of me talking to another girl and her talking to another guy. I moved out for a while. I was ready to try and work things out before she was because I love her and know I screwed up. When she decided that she wanted to work things out I started staying over there but I have yet to move back in. Now she wants to go out with her two friends that she let stay over there while I was gone 5 to 6 nights a week. She will not throw away the letters from this guy she was talking to or delete his phone number from his phone. She say to just give her time but we have four kids and I dont want to put them through any more than they have to be. Should I wait and see what happens and give her a little time since trust is a big issue for us right now or should I tell her to get her **** straight? I have straightened out the problems I was causing our relationship.
2006-09-18 08:23:51 · 19 answers · asked by playenball 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing like a woman's scorn. She will never truly forgive you for what youve done. Judging by your story, she is still holding it over your head and using it as an excuse to do what she wants with no consequence. As for the deleting numbers out the phone, id take that upon myself and delete the number.. You are married. You should get counseling and if that doesn't work, leave her.... because it seems to me that she was a secret skank, and now that she has an excuse to be a skank with no apologies shes taking advantage of that and using your wrong doing as the excuse to do so..... She doesn't seem like she wants to end her partying and her affair... so get counseling or let her go create bad kharma for herself.. cause and effects a B****!
2006-09-18 08:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Iden x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the guy goes, if you got rid of your extra, then that's the least she could do. As for the girlfriends, she probably still does need them right now. They were there when you weren't and probably when you two were together, she had isolated herself with you and your kids. Now she's reconnecting and trying to reestablish who she was before you, which is an important step in deciding if the two of you can be together. As for the children, I wouldn't worry too much about them, because they are extremely resilient. Also remember that it's not like it was years ago when it odd to have separated parents; parents who are not together have become the norm and chances are their peers have separated parents as well.
2006-09-18 08:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Candilaria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you need to ask yourself and her if she's doing this as payback to make you see how it feels? If that's the case then I agree with the telling her to get her stuff straight. There is no room in marriage for game playing like that, especially if you have children to consider. If it's a matter of just needing some time and space, all she's learning from being without you and running around with her friends, is to be without you and run around with her friends. A little time and space is great, she probably needs a minute to stretch her wings, but to refuse to give a little to get her marriage back in return I think is unreasonable.
2006-09-18 08:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cooking and cleansing are astounding gestures yet some how i do no longer think of it is the basis of your issues. I think of your spouse could rejoice with you pitching in on a usual foundation yet i'm questioning this has extra to do with communication. whilst your spouse is chatting with you, do you extremely hear to her? How lots interest do your quite provide her? And what approximately romance or purely bringing her abode plant existence for no reason different than to declare i such as you? Do you keep in mind all the flaws you probably did once you have been first dating? i would be incorrect yet i think of that's what she is getting at whilst she says she prefer to start up over clean back and be pals! back then, i'm specific you probably did a selection of of listening and getting to understand new issues approximately your spouse each time you had a communication? possibly that's what she searching for now, no longer purely appreciation yet recognize and genuine communication like once you have been dating? provide it a attempt...which would be what's she's searching for.
2016-10-17 05:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife doesn't seem to want to work it out. If I were you I would file for divorce. Your right, you don't want to put the kids through any more. Your wife sounds to me like she's reverted back to a 21 year old and ready to party, she doesn't sound like a good wife or mother right now. Have you tried counseling?? Sounds to me like she needs it more than you. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-18 08:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think her friends have been interfering in your relationship and they are telling her that she should be going out and having fun just to get back at you..Talk to your wife and tell her to stop playing games and work on your relationship if she is not interested then let her go out and be a tart and leave her.
2006-09-18 08:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pardon me for saying this, but you don't sound like you're a strong force in your home, and your wife is pushing you around, at least it seems that way to me. Of course, feminists will take offense at this, because they believe in the "equal" arrangement, like having two kings in Rome. I believe that you've become an object of contempt with your wife, and I sense a complete lack of respect.
2006-09-18 08:27:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie tell her how the cow ate the cabbage. She obviously wants to have her cake and eat it too. Either she straightens up or you are gone for good and then she can go out whenever she pleases since you will be taking the kids too.....
2006-09-18 08:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may be looking for a cheap babysitter.
Can't say I see much love or commitment to work on the marriage coming from her end of the wedding vows. It may be time to move on.
2006-09-18 08:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, this is not cool. Your kids deserve a loving family. Get to a therapist, concelor or social worker (somebody cool). Get them to help you figure it out. You are going to have to work on her, and it sounds like you are going to need help dealing with her.
Good luck. Your kids deserve better.
2006-09-18 08:30:04 · answer #10 · answered by Scott E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋