Is it rape? Is it sexual harrassment?

Question

My nieghbor has a boyfriend who she has a baby with. I have heard the boyfriend on several occasions say to her " if you don't suck my dick you can get out" or other sexual acts to him. She feels that if she doesn't do these things to him that her and her child will have no place to go. I live in Sidney, Nebraska where there are no safe havens, no resources , and no shelters for her to go to. I need to know what I can do to help without risking friendship if you know what I mean? What laws are being broken here by him saying these things? Does anyone have a direct link to these laws? Thanks so much.

Isn't it considered rape if she is threatened into doing something sexual?

To clarify. This talk happens in the living room when I am having a drink with her over there. He just blurts this out. He makes it everyones business thats in the house. Her mother and sister both live there with her also. She has no place to go and my house is full. There are no resources here. So frusterating

Answer 1

My wife said if I don't put out more, she's going to kick me out, dammit, I'm not a machine.

Answer 2

If your friend does not want to do these things to her boyfriend and he makes her do them without letting it be her decision, than yes, it does qualify as some type of sexual harrassment. As far as getting her to go somplace else that might be better for her and her baby, I think I might be able to help you. How far is Sidney, Nebraska from Omaha, Nebraska? Tell you what... Hows about you e-mail me and I'll see if there is anything else I could do for your friend. My heart really goes out to her. Regardless of if he's breaking the law, it doesn't sound like its a good place for her to be. My e-mail is [e-mail]. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with, whether or not it relates to this. Good Luck!!! God Bless!!! & I hope your friend gets through this okay.

Answer 3

If their living together I don't see it as sexual harrassment..Maybe abuse but I don't know the laws there where you live ...she needs to get away from him take the child and go .to her parents or to a friends place until she can get help..She does need to get the child out , The child doesn't need to hear those types of things..You need to talk to her and tell her that if the wrong person was to hear this that child protective services may be called and then the child will be taken, I'm sure there is some kind of laws to protect her and the child..

Answer 4

Honestly, that's your neighbors personal "bedroom" business.
And your eavesdropping. Who's to say, they both don't get off on that dirty talk?
Seriously...

Unless you hear, beatings, crying, or act of violence to your neighbor, or child, and see bruises, or neglect, or physical harm, and not acts of sex, then there is not anything you can really do, nor it is really your place. Have you tried to have a conversation with your neighbor to see where her head is at, before you jump to conclusions?

I am more than certain, even if it is not a shelter, there has got to be some kind of church, distant relative half way house, red cross, adult group home that your neighbor could seek if she really wanted to get away from this dude.

Again, unless you heard her say she wants to leave, there's nothing that you can do, to make her.

Answer 5

How about just plain old abuse...physical and mental emotional all of the above.
I really dont know how you can help her if she doesnt want it for fear of becoming homelss.
You could make small nonobtrusive comments. Take her out away from the home then talk to her about it. See if you have any self help groups in your area (support groups) for people in abusive relationships. She probably wont be "allowed" to go on her own she may have to use you as her excuse to get out of the house, but its worth a shot. Here she can learn how to protect herself and her rights. How to prepare for a getaway. Where she can go who can help . All sorts of things that you may not know about may be available in your area.Sometimes these types of places are NOT advertised for the safety of thier"guests" .

Your friend needs your suport now more then ever so be there for her and always listen to what she is saying she may be asking for help without you even realizing it. It will propably be so subtle for her fear is strong. Stay STRONG for her.
Whatever you do dont call the police unless there is real evidence of physical abuse you may put her in more danger than you know. HE wont stay locked up forever trust me on that one.

Answer 6

It's harrassment. Rape occurs if the act was forced upon her. And all she'd have to do is call the police, get a restraining order and then find someone to talk to. Call your local police station and ask them about the laws in regards to harrassment. I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping you. And as a last resort, go talk to her and get her out of there. In the end, only she can decide to leave, you can't force her, nor can you force her to charge him.

Answer 7

Its neither really, but it falls unde the category of abuse. Be it physical or mental, that is abuse. And yes, it can be illegal. Only question in this case is - is she at any point afraid of being physicaly harmed, or has she been, and has he threatened the baby, or does she feel that the baby is being threatened? Its called domestic abuse.
And no, it isn't a problem to try to help her out in a situation like that. Its a horrible thing to be controlled by some jerk, who can't find a way to be with someone other than to threaten them. She really needs to find any option open to her - why don't you suggest her staying with you if you are friends. There has to be other people or family that she knows of. Otherwise, that woman needs to go to the police, and they will investigate on abuse charges. Maybe you can help her find a place to move in to, on her own. She would just need to be carefull about letting him find out where she goes to.
I would hope that she actually wants out of this situation, and isn't one of those people that simply stays because she really believes she has no other course, or that its ok for him to do that stuff to her. There have to be shelters of some kind that help out, but the state HAS to provide help for domestic abuse situations. Call the local welfare department. Ask for any information they may have on help.
People who help someone else, are not to be put down, but praised for not being afraid to step in when it calls for it. I agree that some people really don't understand and step in when they don't have any business, but situations that are bad, shouldn't be allowed to continue.
We don't live in a country where that kind of behaviour is ok or should be ignored. People who sit there and say ignore that kind of stuff, shame on you, for not caring for your fellowman or woman.

Answer 8

I think it is sexual abuse to be forced to do things against your will.

Call the department of health and human services for your county or for the state of Nebraska and they will help you.

If the man is like that with her, he could also be a potential child abuser as well. They need to get out of there.

You are sweet for wanting to help, just be careful.

Answer 9

I guess the only law he broke is just being a jerk.

All she can do is move out, she might be able to get child support, but that will take 6 months.

When you aren't married, there isn't much you can do. Maybe try the Salvation Army, they might help her.

Answer 10

Actually, what he is doing is blackmail. He is basically telling her she has to do it or she has to move out. What i suggest you to do is contact a lawyer about this and he will instruct you more on what you can do. Also, no laws except for the blackmail law and no, i dont have a direct link, sorry.

Answer 11

Do the world a favor and shoot the guy. The woman is a moron who let's herself get abused and will never step out of the relationship.

Just raise your children well so they don't become like either one of those idiots.