Should I give a gift?

Question

My boyfriends brother and his wife had their third child last October. The wife isn't the nicest of people but I bought her a gift for the newborn anyways. However, I never even recieved a "thank you" from her, but my boyfriend's brother thanked me. They are having their forth child next month and I can't decide whether or not I should do the gift thing again! Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You should give a gift because you want to, not because you are keeping score on thank you cards. I know it is ALWAYS proper to follow up with a personal thank you note. However, someone with three children and a newborn probably didn't have time to write the personal note. The boyfriend's brother did let you know they got the gift and he told you thank you. I don't think your boyfriend's family is trying to upset you, you're just being super sensitive.

If you want, give a gift. If you are only giving the gift to see what you will get in return, then don't waste your time.

Answer 2

I think it would be smart to use normal judgment here; if you feel a close enough relationship, then it is nice to welcome the baby with a gift. If you are not so close, but want to welcome the babys arrival, send a card, or make it informal and congratulate if/when you see them. Also consider if they would reciprocate under the same circumstances, and that the gift is for the newborn baby, not the parents.

Never expect a thank you for a gift, but you can remember those polite enough to give one. I think it kind of tells the status of the relationship, but then maybe she is in the habit of doing so but somehow forgot or felt it was too late to admit she was too busy to write or call sooner was embarrased to draw attention to it, or maybe she just felt the "grapevine" thank you" from the dad was sufficient to informally convey thanks from the family.

Just supposing, being the devils advocate...

Answer 3

Be the bigger person and get a gift, especially if you like your boyfriend's brother. Some people just don't have any manners. You say she isn't the nicest person, chances are if you don't get a gift you will surely hear about it later. Good luck!

Answer 4

The brother said thank you...what more do you need? she just had a baby - cut her some slack.

The gift is for the baby, not the parents. Babies always need things...get the gift and don't be so judgmental. it's a new baby!! be happy!

PS - perhaps a box of condoms for the brother might be a good idea. Holy baby making machines!

Answer 5

I would send a gift. Some people just arent good at thank you cards. that does not mean it is not appreciated. The father did thank you, and she might have felt that was sufficient. Dont go overboard with the gift, give something you can afford. If nothing else, it will prevent conflict and stress in your own relationship, as this is your boyfriends family.

Answer 6

Well if your boyfriends brother was thankful that you did it the first time then I tank it would be nice and give a gift the 2end time no matter what the wife is like :)

Answer 7

I say be better than her. Go ahead and get a simple gift. I wouldn't go too far out of my way, but don't stoop to her level. Besides the gift is for baby. Not her.

Answer 8

SOME PEOPLE WERE BROUGHT UP WITH NO VALUES OR MORALS. DONT TAKE IT OUT ON THE BABY, SEND A SMALL GIFT BUT IF YOU DO NOT RECIEVE A THANK YOU CALL HER UP AND ASKED IF SHE RECIEVED THE GIFT AND IF SHE LIKED IT BECAUSE YOU NEVER HEARD THAT SHE HAD GOT IT. EVEN THOUGH YOU RECIEVED A VERBAL TY AND WRITTEN ONE IS NECESSARY. GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

If you are able, go ahead and get a gift. Remember it is for the baby more than the parent.

Answer 10

A thank you from one parent is usually considered to be from the couple. If you want to buy a gift, then do, if not then don't.