How should or even should I approach my wife about her appearance?

Question

My wife of 23 yrs does not work outside the home. She seems less and less concerned with her apprearence. She rarely wears make-up or fixes her hair. She wears baggy, sloppy clothers that she says is comfortable. She says she is in her mid-40s and does not have to dress to impress anyone (I guess including me). I don't expect her to dress like she is going to a formal ball, but a little care in her looks would be great. By the way, she has always been an attractive woman that does not take much to her look great. I know if i say anything,nit will be taken wrong. What to do?

Answer 1

Let her wear her clothes inside, but she should be showering and taking care of her hair. She may be going thru premenopause, that can make other clothes very uncomfortable, be happy or not lol, that she isn't going around naked.
PreMenopause can also cause depression from the hormone changes, suggest she get a physical.

Answer 2

Dam all that! Man listen give it to her straight. Say " Baby you are a good looking woman and I'm so proud of the fact that you are my woman and I'm your man. You don't have to dress to impress anybody else but I'm your man and wouldn't mind if you would tried to impress me. I want you to feel good about yourself from the inside out and let it show. You are a reflection of me and I'm asking you to take some time out to pamper yourself a little, go shopping, get your hair done and get your nails. I want you to feel and look like the beauty queen that you are." While you at it ask her is there something about you that she may want to see a change in.. As a matter of fact why do you two sit down with a pencil and paper and you each write down five to ten things you want the other to work on improving. Whoever completes their list first wins whatever the two of you agreed as a prize. I'm sure there is something she may want you to change also. So why not do it together and make it a fun thing.

Answer 3

It is so easy for women who stay home to fall into a rut with their personal appearance. Don't take it personally! Talk to her about how you feel. Be respectful, but to the point. She may surprise you.

Or, buy her an all inclusive day at the spa. Manicure, pedicure, massage, and makeover. Take her shopping for a sexy outfit, and spend a night in a hotel. Maybe she will understand why her appearance is so important!!

Men are visually stimulated! You are the norm, not the exception. You have been with her for 23 years, she should be willing to hear you out, and respect your feelings. After all, if you stopped doing the things that made her happy, how long would she be quiet about it?

Good Luck! You are not expecting too much from her--I'm sure she wants to make you happy!

Answer 4

Why not plan a romantic date out? Find a restaurant where you need to dress up a bit. As part of the date, you can get a gift certificate so that she can buy a new dress and also get a gift certificate to her favorite salon where she can get her hair and makeup done. Then, when you are out on this date, keep complimenting her on how nice she looks, how much you'd like to do this more often. Try to take lots of photos of her and make her pose for you - tell her that you want to remember her the way she looks now, all dressed up and pretty. Once she realizes the kind of attention she will get from you when she makes an effort, I think she'll start trying harder.

Answer 5

I guess there's nothing wrong dressing up comfortably around the house but costume changing is definitely a must before you come home.

Take her shopping. May be new outfits will encourage her to show off her self again. Convince her to get some hair treatment or haircut.

Try harder and you will see the old wife back.

Answer 6

I always get fixed up if I'm going out, but if it's a normal day around teh house, I don't usually go to lengths either. A few days ago, my husband called me up and said, "Honey, I'm on my way home and I'd like you to get dressed and put on some makeup by the time I get there." I was thrilled! It was so nice that he took such an interest and told me. I knew he was up to something, and I expected him to take me out somewhere, but he came in the door with roses, wine, crackers, and cheeses. It was a very nice afternoon on the couch, and he went on to tell me how much it makes him happy for me to be so pretty for him at the end of the day. I got the message. Pretty up at home too and not just for running errands. And he did it in a very sweet and non-offensive way.

Answer 7

You are in a rock and a hard place! I know how you feel. If you approach her with the truth you will crash her sefl esteem into pieces. This actions would have secondary effects of poor sex and the fact that you're an ashole.

What you can do is give her a reason to dress up. Take her out to dinner and treat her special. Remember: "when women feel special they will perform special". You treat her plain jane then she'll act plain jane. If you treat her special you will get other "special" treats .... i.e great sex instead of her checking out the dirt on the ceiling waiting for you to finish!

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http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 8

You have stayed married to her for 23 years. That entitles you to at least state an opinion. But you had better make sure that you do it with sensitivity and love, because chances are she is going to feel either hurt or upset by it.

Maybe if you just start looking at old pictures together, and make comments like "Oh, look, that was my favorite outfit on you! (Wiggle an eyebrow here) You wouldn't happen to still HAVE that would you?"

Just gentle, easy comments like that, letting her know that you still find her sexy, and would like her to look that way. She'll probably get the idea in no time.

Answer 9

tread carefully!!! my husband recently told me the same only not so nicely, so I was hurt, offended and just plain pissed off at him for being an insensitive a$$. I rarely wear make-up and am a jeans-tshirt-sneakers kind of gal but he (like all guys) wants a hot chick wearing the latest trends with hair and make-up loooking professionally done. I don't go to any lengths to get ready on a daily basis and wear make-up once in a great while when I feel like it or I have a special reason to. I told my husband to give me a reason to get dolled up, not leave me bored at home constantly, I refuse to prance around the grocery store in a skirt and heels! Take your wife out for a night on the town, tell her several days ahead of time that you have special plans and to get all dolled up, shower her with compliments all night, make her feel special. She sounds like me - I'm the type to not put any effort into my appearance without a reason for the extra work - so take your wife out, maybe she's bored with her life and needs some excitement.

Answer 10

When a woman puts a little effort into herself, she will feel better about herself. Is she depressed or anything? It isn't all that fair to you to be married to someone who doesn't care about herself. We all have those days where we don't feel like getting ready, but everyday is a bit much! It seems like she would want to look her best for you...you might just casually bring it up and ask if she is feeling ok about herself, and tell her you would like to see her put in a little more effort because not only will it show she cares about herself, but you also.