you were married to,, or with someone else, and so were they,, would you leave everything you have to be with your love? If your not in love with who your with,, but your there becuase you are comfortable there,, and safe and taken care of. Or say you have children there,, Is it selfish to want to be happy and in love , even if it hurts others at first??
2006-09-18 07:25:34 · 21 answers · asked by B V 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
what the heck?? let the cat out of the bag??? hmmm someone explain that to me please!!!!
2006-09-18 07:42:22 · update #1
nope, I don't have the guts to walk out on someone like that.
2006-09-18 07:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm that is a very hard thing to deal with...
...1.) you have a right to be happy and in love. But also someetimes love isnt real love once you get it. if you are not married then its a lot easier to perhaps get out of the relationship and test things out with the other person...but if you are married...it makes the choice a lot harder and prob not a good idea
2.) If you are happy where you are...stay where you are. If you are happy and comfortable but the flare is gone from the marriage...well talk to your spouse and rekindle it. If you leave what you have...you may realize what you had was great and what you wanted was a fleeting thing...and then you lose both. Or of course you could leave and it could be great... who knows...but is it a kind of chance you want to take?
2006-09-18 07:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by swyftsilver84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, I would never stay, live with or marry someone that I didn't love. However, if this were to happen, I would at least have the decency of telling that person that I'm with that I'm in love with someone else. Although, it may hurt others, I would have to confess because lying, deceit, and adultery is more painful than anything else Regardless if there's children involved, I cannot live a lie.
2006-09-18 07:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it this way...I'd be happy... If you stay in a relationship just for the children's sake, eventually they will get married and leave and you'll be stuck with someone you don't love.. If you get divorced your children can get couseling.. You would have to talk the children because in the end their hearts end up broken and they suffer most....You are not being selfish at all.. I do know where you're coming from and I'm sorry you have to go through this..
2006-09-18 07:39:38 · answer #4 · answered by bellita_716 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So basically your using your hubby and having an affair with a man who is also having an affair and you want to know if you should leave your comfort zone for the guy your cheating with. Here is my answer. You a liar and a cheater and you need to set your hubby free so he may have the chance to find real love as you THINK you have. Oh please do not worry about the kids or how they feel because you didnt care enought to think about that before you engaged in the affair. Get a divorce and take your chances.....as you have been doing up to now.
2006-09-18 07:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are so damned flighty because of their emotions.
Love is similar to insanity. It clouds your ability to think clearly about a given situation.
Get the hell OUT of love first.
And in answer to your question:
Yes - it is selfish, childish, arrogant, self-centered, and cruel to the children.
Did you make a commitment - what does that word mean to you? Commitment - really.
In order to commit you have to sacrifice - what have you sacrified to make the marriage work?
Happiness is an illusion. If you run off with someone and abandon your family - the happiness and love, etc., will fade - and you'll be left with the knowledge that you are selfish and that you abandoned your family.
Why is the divorce rate so high????
FP
2006-09-18 07:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what makes you happy but at the same time you have to be ready to accept the consequences of the decision you make. If the one you "love" is with someone else, how could you be sure they would leave their spouse to be with you? And how do you know it would work? Who's to know if a few months or years down the road they meet thier next "soulmate" and leave you holding the towel......then what? Good luck in your decision and I hope things work out even better than you expect.
2006-09-18 07:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People live to be happy and in love. If the person you were with knew you weren't in love with them but using them for comfort and they were ok with it and you are ok being unhappy then sure why not.
I would never want to be with someone who didn't love me or loved someone else more. I would rather they break up with and hurt me than live a lie.
They deserve to be with someone who truly loves them and by not letting them go, they are being denied that chance.
2006-09-18 07:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comfortable, safe, taken care of, children there.......??? Stay where you're at, and make it work! It can, and will, with effort. Easy, no, but doable! You're married to that person already....I just think the grass looks greener to you, on the other side right now. Unfortunately, it's JUST as hard to mow! Stay with your husband! Good Luck !!
2006-09-18 07:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO feeling like true love. I can understand your dilemma. However, I think when you have children, they need to be your very 1st consideration. If going with the person you love will affect them negatively in ANY way, dont do it! You may have security and stability where you are now, but love conquers all. Just keep that man in mind as well as your kids. Please think this through!
2006-09-18 07:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart it will be tough and whatever decision you make will hurt someone but hey ....we only live once as they say!
When it comes to children and break ups, children need security and if you are not secure they will not be either. Follow that crazy heart of yours girl all the way to happiness!
2006-09-18 07:54:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋