my husband does not like me babysitting my grandson while daughter works.?

Question

This is my second marriage. Been married 20 years and he has never "liked" my two kids. They are now 35 and almost 34. The 35 year old is a hard worker in a bar unfortunately. She makes good money bartending at a nice family type bar. Her companion, my grandson's father lives with them and is a musician. She needs me to babysit one or two times per week when they are both working. Example: Friday night from 7p to 12midnight and then Saturday from 4p to Sunday at 12noon. Usually only one night a week, overnight. About once a month, grandson is with other grandparents for the entire weekend as they live out of state. My husband of 20 years hates my daughter working in a bar and so do I but he wants me to tell her that I will not babysit if she works in a bar. She worked for 10 years in an office, word, excel and everything. She has been working in the same bar for 7 years. He wants me to tell her that if she doesn't quit working in a bar - I will not babysit. Help

Answer 1

Well Have been married twice I'm on my second, I have kids from both and If my husband said that to me, I would tell him to Kiss My Butt. The way I feel If they are working then I'm all for it, it beats day care and sorry to say in today's society its expensive to live and you make a lot more money in a bar then you do in a office. Its not like there out partying they are working. If he doesn't like your kids she probably could work anywhere and he would say the same thing. He sound jealous of your kids, tell him to grow up already. and good luck you do what you think is right.

Answer 2

Although working in a bar is not what we want for our children, that is what your daughter has chose (for the time being). Your grandson needs you right now, and your husband is being unreasonable.

Tell him that if he doesn't like it that he should take up a hobby and spend less time at home, when the child is there. The child senses his anger, and it is damaging to their relationship. Although, your husband may feel that you are supporting your daughter's "bad" work ethics, you still have to be there for the child. If it doesn't bother you, it shouldn't bother your husband.

On the other hand, if the child is more than a handful and difficult to manage, your husband should have some say so on whether or not you watch the child. If the child is difficult, you may have to tell your daughter to find another babysitter.

But, if that's not the case, you are going to have to tell your husband that he is not being reasonable and that you feel that God would not want you to turn your grandchild away.

Answer 3

I totally disagree with your Husband. Another thing, why on earth would you marry someone that doesn't care for your children??? They're your family. As a Mother, I would'nt mind my daughter working at a bar as long as it's in a safe and controlled enviroment. But, if I did'nt approve, I would not stop taking care of my son because I feel that my daughter's actions or choice of employment, has nothing to do with my Grandson who's innocent. Instead, I would talk with her and tell her that I feel uncomfortable with her working in a bar and I would try to convince and motivate her to go back to Office work without telling her what to do. Support, encourage and love her. If she choses to stay in that profession, I hope that you still continue to take care of your Grandson regardless of what you're Husband thinks. Be happy that she has a job and that she's been there for 7 years, she not only shows repsonsibilty but stability as well.

Answer 4

He dislikes the tavern so much that he would quit helping your children. What's up with that. She probably makes more money in tips than she did in the office. Not much taxable at that. How does where she work impact your helping. Its not a strip joint is it? Is she working the brass pole? If not he needs to get his head out of his butt. Oh and by the way, maybe if he forces you to quit helping because of the tavern they will not be quite so helpful when you get older and need help back. This question is about family and what family is for . Being family of 35 year old people is not about trying to make them do your wishes. Its about enjoying your grandchildren and helping your children. Tell your husband he may be older but he needs to grow up.

Answer 5

Well, if the kids are little and noisy I could maybe understand your husband's iriitation but just because your daughter works in a bar? Sounds like he's judgemental as5hole who is trying to impose his value system on her life. A queston. Does your daughter pay you for your time? If she does, maybe she could get someone else for one the nights a have you take the kids just once a week. If your daughter doesn't pay you maybe your husband is irritated by your doing it for free and feels you are being taken advantage of. Good Luck

Answer 6

Your husband is an insensitive lout; if he cared about the job she had, he would have supported them in finding a better one, not belittle them ever since meeting them.

Tell him to accept your kids and their careers for what they are or get used to the idea of never seeing the grandkids after he drives them all away.

Answer 7

I would tell him to mind his own business. That is your grandchild. Not some kid off the street. It doesn't matter that your daughter works in a bar. At least she is making a living.

Answer 8

She is working and able to support her family because of it...tell your hubby to mind his own damn business. This is not a daughter who has you babysitting while she is out prostituting. How dare he. I would tell the hubby to stay out of it. I'm sure your enjoying the time with your grandson as well. No one has to like her job; but if she likes it enough to work it....LEAVE HER BE!!!

Answer 9

Go tell him to jump in a lake. I think it is wonderful what you are doing to help your daughter and grandson. Your daughter sounds like she is happy the way her life is going, keep supporting her by babysitting.

Answer 10

This jerk should realize that if he loved you he wouldn't comlain- you are getting to spend some invaluable quality time with your grandson. You cannot get the years of childhood back, and this is an important time to bond and build a lifelong relationship with your grandson. Shame on your husband!!!!