In love with my wife's cousin, me facing divorce suite after 10 yrs of marriage, hav kids, she is separated too has one kid. Cant leave her, she is the meaning of my life now. How can I solve this problem? My estranged wife using all her might to harrass me n her.
2006-09-18 06:52:36 · 14 answers · asked by fantasyland 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's nobody's look out, weather I am a girl or a boy. I might be a zombie. if people have answers they r welcome otherwise, they can waste their energy somewhere else digginga grave...
2006-09-20 01:46:02 · update #1
if you don't want to go as far as a restraining order there is one called a Harrasment order....its basically a be nice order. I had never heard of it before but came across it in court last week. Try that and see if she gets the message, can't help who you fall in love with.
2006-09-18 06:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Were you "in love" with your wife's cousin during your 10 year marriage? If so, this would explain why she's so mad at you and you would need to fully face the consequences of your actions.
My dad cheated on my mom years ago and now is married to the other woman. My mom went psycho nuts on him and her.
I do understand why he divorced her, (she is a very controlling person), but he was a coward instead of standing up to her. He went about it all the wrong way. Before even thinking about cheating on her, he should have confronted her and said he'd didnt like her behaviors and gave her an ultimatum - change or I divorce you. Then if she didnt respond, he could have left more peacefully.
Even a normal uncontrolling woman would be infuriated and hurt by their husbands cheating. And, being that it's with your estranged wife's cousin, makes it doubly screwed up. What an act of betrayal!! How would you feel if your cousin did that to you? I would never do to that to my cousin. How terrible your wife must feel!!
My suggestion is that BOTH of you apologize for each of your actions, and get out of the relationship with her cousin, too, and start your life over.
You also need to seriously think about how your actions affect your children's lives now, and especially in the future. They will definitely have problems later on in life because of this and it will leave emotional scars on them for the rest of their lives. And don't think it won't if they seem to be acting fine now. It will surely come out later in their adult lives. It is foolish to think that it won't.
2006-09-18 14:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by mrschrisc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have gotten yourself into a very large (Jerry Springer show) type mess.
You are going to have to end this relationship with the cousin. What will the kids be if you two get married--step-sibling-cousins???
I'm not joking with you. You two are causing problems for the kids more than yourselves.
Your wife is harrassing you two because you hurt her. She should leave you alone, but she is hurt.
Now you are all 3 wrong. You are all 3 hurting the kids.
2006-09-18 14:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Christian93 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How selfish can you be? You have kids and you are cheating with a relative of theirs?!?!?! If you only knew what this was doing to your children. I know, I was the wife being cheated on. I forgave, he ran to JESUS and we remarried. If you really love those kids, find a minister and ask for help. The two of you where chosen to be the parents of those children for a reason. Those kids are gifts and you dont just toss a gift back into the face of GOD. I will truly pray for you and others out there like you.
2006-09-18 14:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already got into mess by marrying your first wife. Now you are commiting a second mistake by divorcing her then getting married to the women you love. Please try to understand that if you love your wife's cousin, then what is the need to marry? I can understand that society will not allow you to live in peace if you decide to stay together without marriage. Try to find out place where this kind of living together without marriage is ACCEPTED. And let me tell you one more thing, the thing which you are saying that you are in love with your wife's cousin will soon vanish after say a matter of time i.e.2-3 years. Visit http://oshoworld.com or http://osho.com to find more insights by the mystic OSHO. This may probably solve your problem. I wish that may your love stay EVERLASTING.
2006-09-18 14:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by HITS_ON_TARGET 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You made an oath to her and God to stay together 'til death do you part.Being with your wife's cousin is some hillbilly stuff. Leave the cousin, join a church, try to selvage what you can with your wife(friendship,talking terms etc.)for your kids.Get involved in some kind of sport,you are clearly bored. Also try something new, think about your kids,how would they or do they feel about it all,and what are you showing them about your self. Looks like your just a selfish and bored person trying to live in a soap opera
2006-09-18 14:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by TYRONE S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are in a pickle i would get out of my marriage and leave her cousin alone that must be awful for your wife . sorry i am tellin you what i feel to take up with a cousin the only worse thing would be her sister does she have one so you could hurt her worse
2006-09-18 13:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by terri e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep away from both fro a period of 2-3 months. stick to only first wife. take her permission. then go for 2nd option . if she dont allow better leave her cousin.
2006-09-18 20:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by meenakshim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know sometime the hardest thing to do is the Best thing to do..but you got to do whats right. maybe deep down inside u want stand by her side..but that's not always the best thing to do.. you cant help who you fall in love with.. you don't just pick love out
and for your kids or kid just try to be in there life as mush as possible cuz out of all this that's what is the most aportent thing.good luck
2006-09-18 14:05:11 · answer #9 · answered by jerzabest 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are a lesbian? just coming out of the closet? Your profile says you are a mother. How can you have an estranged wife? I am sooo confused
2006-09-18 13:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋