Ok, last week I was talking on the phone when my bf pulled up. Later he asked who I was talking to and I lied about who I was talking to. I was talking to my childrens father and said I was talking to my cousin. The issue is in me lying, not who I was talking to. He confronted me cause he found out I was lying. I lied cause I don't know how he feels about me talking to him (serious drama in the past). Anyway, he broke up w/ me. After one year it's come down to this. I need this man in my life. We were going to get married! What can I do to gain some trust back and get us back together??? He came over last night and talked to my sister about us, but was mostly saying I was a liar. HELP!!!!
2006-09-18 06:51:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Relationships are built on trust, you broke that trust when you decided to lie to him. You shouldn't have done that, he should be able to understand that you have the right to talk to your children's father, after all he is the father of your children, there is nothing wrong with talking to him. But it takes a long time to gain trust back after you lie about something, you need to talk to him and appologize. You shouldn't have waited so long. You need to show that you are worthy of being trusted again.
2006-09-18 06:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by TheFireWithin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he asked you later, after you answered him (lie or not) already, means he has jealous and controling/distrusting personality types to begin with. Why do you need this man in your life.? Ask yourself that and if the answer is more than you "just don't want to be alone" then admit to him your real reasons for not telling him right off that you were on the phone with you children's father. He has to be okay with you talking to him... there is no way around it. If he can't forgive you, move on. Seriously, he probably thought you lied becuase you have feelings for that person still. If you don't and he can't accept it then he is a jealous control freak and you can do better!
2006-09-18 14:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by rndvdw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you do not need this man in your life, you choose to have him in your life.Let him know why you lied and what you can do to make it up to him with him not throwing it in your face all the time.At the moment he is still upset let him be, leave him alone. Then once in a while just give him a call, when he does not pick uo just leave a sweet message.Patience is very important it may take a while for him to come back and trust you.I am sure he will, if not then know that you tried and let him be.You have your kids to worry about.
2006-09-18 13:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by Amry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets face it, if you had told him you were talking to your childrens father, there still would have been a conflict. but nowhere near as bad as this turned out. he thinks that once you get married the same thing will happen, and if you lied about a simple phone call with an ex, lord know what else you will lie about. im not judging you, im speaking from experience. the fact that he is still talking about it with close friends/relatives means its still on his mind. and if its still on his mind, it means hes trying to sort out what to do. ask if he wants to start out with a clean slate. start dating over again, almost like a do-over. let whatever happened in the past be the past and promise not to mention it or let it happen again. its the only way it will work, and if he cant get over it, he never will and you may have to move on.
2006-09-18 13:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by SADIQUA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see how you can be expected not to talk to your children's father. You have to. And if your in a relationship with someone who doesn't like it then you have a huge problem. Maybe its better this way. I dont think its good for your kids to see that you chose this guy over their father.
2006-09-18 13:56:26 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if he did forgive u now and u got married it would not last...bottom line is you have a previous obligation to your CHILDREN and he can't take the communication you will be doing with the father of them...you have a choice to make...leave your kids....don't get back with your boyfriend...or find a new one that understands your past and loves you for you and your baggage.
2006-09-18 13:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by live laugh love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say "once a liar always a liar" and that's what he probably thinking.
You need to ask HIM what can you do to gain his trust back. because no matter how many answers you get, you'll never know till you hear it from him...Then you'll know exactly what to do or not do.
2006-09-18 13:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should apologize and try to sort the situation out and try to help this cause by the kind of drama you got by confronting your baby's daddy and your boyfriend.
2006-09-18 14:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by melikey2009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain you didn't want him to be mad talking to your kid's dad. Tell him it was a misjudgement, and you want to prove to him you truly are honest, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings over the phone call.
2006-09-18 14:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by Migity696 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a liar who wants to be with a liar, sorry time for you to move on
2006-09-18 14:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋