Are there no Gentlemen left?? Answers please if you have experienced the same problem..especially when I.M.ing

Question

Has the art of "chivalry" died out completely??? Do all men now only want to talk about themselves & sex(in that order)?. Is the art of conversation dying, is there no respect left in the singles community?? Are you a male experiencing the same problem with females? Are you a gentleman...who begs to differ??? Are you a woman who has managed to snare one of the few gents left??? Are you like me, and have recently rejoined the "singles" community after divorce, and are shocked at the way things have changed?Feel dismayed and out of your depth? Have any advice for me???? Thanks for listening!!!!

Answer 1

If you're really searching for a practitioner in the "lost art of conversation", stay away from the internet. Ninety percent of guys online are losers and scumbags. I've never met a guy online who didn't just want sex.

Answer 2

The anonymity of cyberspace seems to cause men to revert to there standard behavior when in an anonymous situation--i.e.***** hound. I don't think they are any worse than they ever were....but the idea that no one knows who they really are or can see them is too much for them. Lack of accountability combined with anonymity can cause even otherwise nice men to cross the line. As the newness of the situation wears off I expect they will begin to act better. Mean while do as we have always done...ignore them. At least that is easy to do with a computer...you can block them out pretty completely by pressing a few buttons. If you want a laugh go to a dating site and read the ads. Reading their expectations (who they're looking for) and looking at their picture is often good for a laugh. Stay away from the ones who fill out nothing in their intendeds' profile except a weight requirement and maybe a hair color...If that's all they care about we know what they are looking for! Keep your sense of humor (men always were a bit goofy on the subject of sex) and remember "VIVA LA DIFFERENCE!"

Answer 3

That's a very good question!. Although it depends on how you define a gentleman. I for one believe in the art of good conversation, prefferably over dinner and a bottle or two of a decent red. That said, over a pint in the local isn't bad either.

However, once in a relationship with someone then talking about sex isn't always a negative thing - in the right context.

In simple terms, yes there are still some of us out there/here, it's just a case of looking in the right place. And, unfortunately, Yahoo! answers isn't always the right place - judging by the intellect of some (none on this thread yet though!) of some of the posters.

Answer 4

Mmm, a difficult question this.

Part of the behaviour of my gender is 'in response' to what we are met with when we encounter the female of the species.


To give a very shortened example of an experience...

I took part in an experiment back in the early 80's when we were asked to look at our behaviour and attitudes to women throughout specified eras and areas in our lives.

The women were asked to look at the same behaviours at the during the same periods. Then we came together and compared notes and talked and projected our ideas into the future as to what things would be like in say 20 years time.

The conclusion was that 'Men' were (as it were) 'softening,' becoming more understanding of the women’s experience, and by degrees, more femanin-ised, more 'user friendly' within 'The Relationship.'

The outcome seems in many respects (from newspaper reports, reading through much on the internet, TV, radio and so on) that there are many areas where the two genders have swapped both their roles and their behaviours (of course, this is somewhat generalised).

Do I like or approve of this? In general, no, I don’t. I don’t like loud-mouthed females who think everything is either funny or they are being abused, and confuse arrogance with Girl Power (especially when they have nothing to be arrogant about …unless we count their ‘ability to drink and throw-up.’) The male version of this I have never liked anyway.

Part of the experience seems to be their (both sexes) being ‘stuck in a latent adolescence’ from which they seem unable to escape, partly because they have no conception of where they are.


As for 'Chivalry,' well, in spite of being called 'sexist' for holding a door open for a woman (more than once), of offering a seat to a woman and being looked at with scorn, I still hold doors open for Others ...and am looked it with scorn because whilst seated, I do not look 'Disabled.'

I'm fascinated by 'Sex' and 'the relationships' that people have, and how they screw them up - how ill educated 'emotionally' people are, how little understanding there is re human behaviours. I love calligraphy, cartography, photography, reading and writing and water colour painting and dog training and aircraft and other etc etc's.

Generally, I like listening to people who want to talk about their life stories, their interests and why their chosen interests...? I'm an active listener too, it doesn't flow in through one ear and out the other.

Does this (any of this) make me a Gentleman? I consider myself to be both Gentle and a Man, but I'm not sure it constitutes me for the former. I think it's up to the Other person to make up their own mind.


I hope this goes some way to what you need.
Best of luck.
Sash.

Answer 5

My lady.

I would not presume to be so crash as to introduce myself to you as a definite gentleman... A man (Gentleman that is) ought to let his actions and quality's provide his own introduction.

I most fervently hope that you do come across a man of charm and kindness, who judges rarely and only with good reason and who will see in you:

" the depth of sincerity, beauty and fragile perfection that is found in only a true lady"

Yours most sincerely

Zarathustra.

PS. A word of advice, don't go looking for a gentleman... men are often instinctual enough to detect what a woman is looking for and to provide just that, without conviction or true honesty.
Wait and He may well come to you, be brave enough and wise enough to know the difference.

Answer 6

Thankfully I am married to a perfect gentleman, he always opens doors for me, in the house, car, shops and were ever there's a door to go through, he has been told off very regular by women for opening door for them, but he won't give up because there are still a lot of women who do appreciate it, my husband is the perfect gentleman in everyway, we rarely watch television and prefer to sit and talk to each other, guess I'm very lucky, I have a friend who has recently split with her partner of 25 years and she was devastated on her first 'single' night out with some friends, she said men were rude, dirty, bad mannered and instead of talking they just try to jump on top of you, I said surely there are some decent men out there, she said she can't find them, god forbid the decent men have all decided to stay in these days because of they way they think women see them.

Answer 7

I know what you mean. I have been looking for a gentlemen for a long time. I go onto dating sights and the men saying they are looking for a long term relationship (in my view , that has to be marriage, not some shack up deal) and when you start talking to them, they start talking about getting touch feely. I have met guys that want me to come to their place and cuddle on the second date. Yikes. I have just started looking for someone myself and in the past year haven't found much and the sad thing is that I have set my sights on older men (i'm 40 and I have gone up to age 60 and you know what, the men that age seem to behave the same. Just do like I do, and don't settle for anyone that doens' t treat you with respect because if you give in you will hate yourself for it, believe me I have done that in the past.

Answer 8

I've always found the world to be full of gents because I EXPECT a man to be a gentleman as soon as I meet him, and they often live up to that.

When you meet a man, if you treat HIM as if he were a prince, they will begin to act like one.

You'd be surprised - this works like magic.

(Speaking as a woman who has married the most gentlemanly man on the planet and who has several more gentlemen friends)

Answer 9

I am a gentleman and we have been neutered.
Todays woman insists on Looks ,Money ,power and the ability to provide a good lifestyle for HER.
now days everything is about them .
Don`t tell me im wrong because I am a giving ,caring and loving man .Women don`t want to date me because im not a looker .
Im overweight because of medication due to spinal injury .
I was married for 23 years and i worked and did the household chores including cooking ,when my Ex went off the deep end .
We are still out there ,but we don`t measure up to todays womans standard.

Answer 10

Good question. I don't stare at a woman's chest, I go for eye contact. The eyes are what attract me, and I can also get a better feel for how the person is responding. If a woman stared at my crotch, or anywhere but my eyes, I would lose interest.