My girlfriend is bisexual?

Question

This is actually a first for me. Up to this point, I've had hardcore Christian girlfriends (although, ironically, I'm agnostic) who are as straight as can be. Now, I've come across a wonderful girl who I love with all my heart. One day, she told me that she was bisexual. She told me everything, that she's dated girls, won't hesitate to proclaim that a girl (or guy) is hot, has had sex with girls, etc etc. I didn't surprise me, because she has a lot of friends who are sexually open to anything. I'm not homophobic, but now that I know this, I'm insecure about us. One of her friends, who I'd assumed was just a best friend, is actually an ex of hers. With this in mind, and the fact that they like each other's company so much, I wonder if anything is going on behind my back. You see, the problem I'm having is that her range of love extends beyond gender. Normally, I'd be concerned if she was hanging around some guy a lot, but now that this isn't limited to gender, I'm not sure wha

what to do, or how I should go about talking to her about it. Any advice?

Answer 1

A horse of a different color is still a horse. Does she like you? If you are going to want an exclusive relationship, then she is going to have to commit to the exclusive relationship whether her field of interest was wider than yours or not. Of course, so will you. On the bright side, if she has an indescretion with another woman, she's not going to be bearing some other man's baby as a result. She can still pick up a disease and pass it to you, but infidelity will otherwise have a different range of consequences. Still, that is the wider risk that you face. "Homophobic" has nothing to do with the concern (besides being a bogus word as it is commonly employed)--fidelity is the issue as your relationship grows. Ask her, is woman to woman sex immoral? (she would likely answer no) If I had sex with another woman, would that be immoral? (she would likely answer yes) Then if I am expected to be faithful to you, can I expect you to be faithful to me? Remember, when the arguments of the future arise, and they will, that you are not (implied from your words) opposed to her homosexual urges, but the action on her sexual urges with anyone--ANYONE--else is immoral.

If she can't commit, then you either have to live with it, or move on.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/t3P0k

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 4

My Girlfriend Is Bisexual

Answer 5

Don't worry; if she's with you, it's you she wants. Just because she's attracted to members of both sexes doesn't mean that she's going to go behind your back with girls when you're not looking.

I am also bisexual. I have been with both guys and girls and will also mention it if I see a beautiful woman or a handsome man. Whenever I tell anyone about my orientation, they assume that I go and have threesomes or maintain a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time. It's not like that. It only means I'm attracted to both, nothing more, nothing less. I have been married to a man that I love deeply for five years. He knows about everything, but is not concerned. I am with him and am quite monogamous, even when hanging out with an ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

Talk to your girlfriend about your insecurities, just like you did in your question. Don't accuse her, just let her know how you feel. She'll more than likely tell you the same thing I did. Good luck!

Answer 6

Do you love her enough to accept her bisexuality or not? As k yourself that important question. If the answer is no, then it's time to look somewhere else for that true love. Maybe, she's just in the experimental stage as I'm sure you guys are very young. It's perfectly normal to have this feelings. But if you think she's serious in her choices. By the sound of it, she is, with these previous liaisons. Or do you think she's just fooling you to see your reaction. Maybe, it's time for the two of you to seriously talk it out re the future of this relationship. What her amd your expectations are to become of this. If she prefers girls as well as guys, you'd have one hell of a time to compete with all those girls.

Answer 7

First of all..do you have ANY reason to believe she is the type who will cheat on you? Does she have a past history of fooling around on her boyfiiends/girlfriends? If not the stop thinking she is a cheater just because she has a wider range of sexual interests than you do!
Speaking as a bisexual woman in my 40's. WHO HAS NEVER CHEATED ON MY PARTNER....the ability to be sexually attracted to both genders does not change a persons basic core values....If you are a cheater, it don't matter if you are straight or bi or gay...you're a cheater...
If you could never image betraying your commitment to a partner weather short or long term....being bi or gay will not change that!
Give the girl a break,,,unless you have good reasons to doubt her word

Answer 8

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
My girlfriend is bisexual?
This is actually a first for me. Up to this point, I've had hardcore Christian girlfriends (although, ironically, I'm agnostic) who are as straight as can be. Now, I've come across a wonderful girl who I love with all my heart. One day, she told me that she was bisexual. She told me...

Answer 9

When I was a teenage bi girl (I've been bi pretty much all my life), I broke up with my straight boyfriend because he kept getting jealous of any girl he thought had queer tendencies. I felt I needed to tell you that.

How would you treat her ex if she was a guy? Keep that in your mind.

Remember also that "hanging out" isn't at all the same as having sex or wanting to have sex.

She didn't say she was confused or cheating or not interested in monogamy or not into *you*. She said she was bisexual because she felt you needed to know. She trusted you. Earn her trust.

Answer 10

Feeling insecure is normal in a new situation; you're being honest about those feelings and asking questions to help you better understand the situation -- all good!

Consider it this way: because people who are bi can, in theory at least, be attracted to anyone, we're much more experienced with this whole 'being friends' thing. You know, sorting through any feelings of attraction and understanding that it's not always cool to act on them. Or sometimes the opposite can happen, where a really close and strong friendship can be mistaken for sexual love.

I know plenty of lesbians and bi women who have stayed close friends with ex's, including ex-life-partners. It's actually just normal for us. (What I've seen over and over again is their straight friends scratching their heads in wonderment. I don't know why, maybe it's just because we have to 'process' our sexual identity. %-)

Ask your girlfriend about the relationship with her ex, why it didn't work out, how they decided to go back to being friends, was it mutual? If you understand that situation better, it should be easier to relax with it.

If your relationship is going to work, you'll need to let go of your jealousy a bit, and that applies to her friendships with other guys. It's a waste of a good relationship to spoil it with fears of what might happen. I just lost a marriage to that.