can it last?

Question

my boyfriend and i are just out of high school...and we want to get married..does anyone think that its ok or should we wait untill we are finished with college...we are very much in love and we understand what it takes to pay bills and depend on each other,,,so it's not just a crazy teenage romance..my parents dont' think we are ready and should wait...but i just want to be with him and he's the same way toward me...can anyone give me any advice...

Answer 1

You can be with him, but wait a few years before getting married.

Answer 2

My boyfriend and I were in a similar situation. My advice would be to wait. If there's true love there, marriage will only change your last name, really. Just remember that it's a long road. If you rush into marriage and then you two decide to go your separate ways, you have to pay for a divorce. If you aren't married, it's just a breakup.

Another thing, living together and paying bills etc is not just something you think you know and understand. It is so hard to get used to not having anything be just yours anymore. It honestly could break your relationship. Just hold on to what you have and build from there - no drastic steps. Considering most adults have difficulty with the first year or two of marriage, you would have it twice as bad because the two of you are so young, and honestly, you have no idea what the real world is like. You've never lived on your own, paid the bills, and you probably don't even have a line of credit. Just wait and see what happens.

Don't rush into the rest of your life. You have plenty of time.

Answer 3

If you understand that you'll both be completely dependent on eachother and you understand how hard it will be, maybe for a long time since you both want to continue your educations, I say go for it. I don't see what the rush is though because if you are going to be together in the end anyway, why not wait until after you get at least a few years in school done. If you were planning on going to different schools far away from eachother, I'd definitly wait. I know how you feel though. You feel like, I love this man and I want him to be my husband so everyone can see how much in love we are and how serious we are about eachother. I understand. But, you have to think rationally.

Answer 4

Well it's great that you guys want to be together, but what's so bad about waiting awhile. A lot of work comes with marriage. What's the big rush? If you guys are so much in love now, you will still love each other in a few years when you are more financially stable and more mature. I say wait, live life, get a little more education, be together and then plan the wedding. What's so wrong with waiting a little longer. That's not going to hurt either one of you. There isn't any rush right?

Answer 5

I understand how you two feel. I'm so glad that my mother gave me the advice to live with my boyfriend instead of getting married! I was 18, him 20, madly in love, together for 2 yrs., and then....lived together 4 mos. and I was done!

The two of you have so much more growing, and experiencing to do still that getting married now would put unnecessary stress on ya all! When people say that "we just grew apart", they aren't talking crap. The older you get, the more your views, character, maturity level, even tastes (not tastebuds either!), change. The guy you are with now, may not be the person you want to be with in 3 yrs. or even 3 mos. If the two of you have true unconditional love, then marriage can wait. Enjoy each other's company right now, and friends' company - whether they be in common friends or seperate - don't worry so much about the relationship. College is going to be stressful enough without having to worry about what one of you are doing without the other there! Be with him, and he with you, it doesn't mean you have to get married to do that! Relax, enjoy, be happy! Soon life will become hectic enough!

Answer 6

are you going to the same college? if you are then rent an apartment and try living together for a while.... getting married is just a piece of paper, the true commitment comes from within... you don't have to be married now and you don't have to wait until college is over either.....my best friend got married after high school and has been married for 13 years now and is still very in love with her husband...... i was going to get married too..... i did not do it and i still thank God every day i didn't.....it is really up to you two.... it can last, but it will take a lot of work.....good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 7

Things are very different once you enter the work force. You meet many different people from all walks of life.

I respect what you and your bf have and I know that your feelings towards each other are real.. but it will do both parties good if you two just continue dating for a while first and not rush into marriage. Cos things change and frankly, you two are very young.

There's a reason why your parents think that you two are not ready. You might want to put some weight on what they are saying. After all, they have decades more of experiences (both right and wrong) which they learnt from.

Answer 8

Well...from a married woman who will be 28 on her 10th wedding anniversary I say it can indeed last!! I married straight after highschool and haven't regretted it once. It takes two mature, responsible people to make such a decision and only you and he know in your hearts if you're willing to put in all the work it takes to make a marriage last. The question should be not can I live with him forever but can I live a day without him in it? I certainly couldn't live a day without my hubby in it...I love him deeply and always will. It's truly a blessing that I found my soulmate so young and get to spend all of my life with him. If you are sure and so is he I would say do it...but even if you decide to hold off on the marriage things will happen the way they are supposed to...if your love is true then it will last throughout anything. I hope that you and him can have everlasting happiness and here's to a bright, beautiful future for the both of you. Good luck!!

Answer 9

I think it can last. I mean how long have you guys been together? Marriage is great, if you are truly in love, and depending on the length of your relationships. I was once engaged but my ex realized it wouldnt work cuz of the distance but if you guys get a house or apartment together it should work. Don't listen to what parents say because there are the one in a million young relationships that DO work. It all depends on time and how much a person cares for another person to really make things work.

Answer 10

I say wait and if it's meant to be somewhere down the road then get married. Here's a way to test it. Both of you contribute equally to a savings account to pay for your wedding. It will show commitment and in the meantime give you an adults perspective on the relationship.
No one is denying you have the right to love, just the right to make an educated decission about marriage and what it means.

Answer 11

If you have to ask this question there are doubts. and if you have doubts you shouldn't do it. just wait. you can still be together and not get married. life is very long and if you just got out of high school, time is on your side. Marriage is very serious and it is not something that you should enter into lightly. So if you have some doubts wait awhile. If you love him and he loves you , not getting married right away wont change that.

good luck