I hardly ever visit my family, they drive me up the wall. They always have advice on how I should raise my kids and whenever I am around them I feel uneasy. But when I go over to my husband's parents house I feel more at ease. I can be myself, they are more like me than my own family. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like this is awful of me. I just don't get along with my parents very well. I never have. I just wanted to know if this has happened in anyone elses marriages.
2006-09-18 06:07:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, me too a little. But a big part of it for me, and I think for you too, is that we are tuning into our husband's feelings in an empathic sort of way. Plus, he probably is the dominant person in your relationship and has molded you into a part of his family, further distancing you from your first family.
2006-09-18 06:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that same sensation with my family and my wife's family!
My parents have since passed away and most of my aunts and uncles. My cousins seem to treat me like I'm an outsider and my younger brother is mostly a moocher. I only associate with my older brother and his family. But my in-laws had taken me in as an immediate member of the family. I feel more comfortable with them and more at ease as well. My mother and father in-law are always quick to hug me hello/goodbye and tell me that they love me... If you even mention "I love you" in my family, they'll look at you like you're on crack or something. Not since my parents or some of my aunts and uncles had passed, have I ever felt genuine love like this.
2006-09-18 06:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way. I wouldn't worry about it. Cultivate the relationships that have the most meaning to you, sustain the ones you must, and lose the ones you don't need. Biological ties only mean as much as you want them too. I have a long story to go with that, but trust me, family are the people you "feel" closest too. That's all that matters.
2006-09-18 06:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes this happens to me all of the time. I love my family but sometimes I don't feel comfortable around them. I stiil visit them but I also associate with positive thinking people.
2006-09-18 06:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by Researcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...sounds like me. i met my husband when my family and i were a little estranged from eachother. i got into some troubles when i was younger and i didnt want to bring it home. anyway ai got myself together and my family and i were ok. i am the oldest of three. i then met my husband. he's one of 14. there's 40 nieces/nephews. huge family. anyway, from the very beginning, his family opened me with open arms. we can communicate, and have the same interests. it's just fun.
with my faimly, it's all about rules, respect, roles and JUDGEMENT. who's doing what, who drives the better car, who's living better...a lot of gossip. i hate it and it's just so fake. so yeah, i get along great with my in-laws and have a much better time with them, even without my husband (like when he has to work and there's a get-together).
i dont think it's strange at all. i mean your in-laws must have raised your husband into who he is and therefor reflects upon the family he came from. not that it means that we are who we are because of OUR family. i think in our cases it's the opposite. we want to be different with our life and morals, therefore clashing from our own family. we can't choose our family. just agree to disagree. leave it at that. appreciate your in-laws. i love all of mine to death....and my mother-in-law knows how much i love her son.
2006-09-18 07:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by life beyond yur wildest dreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not strange at all. I think we all think everyone else has the "Brady Bunch" Family and we don't. But in reality, that's not the case. My family drives me nuts but I love my husband's family and spend the majority of my time with them.
2006-09-18 06:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Leslie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SURE
My german and SAG sister has a son who is married. And everytime when her daughter-in-law, they live in FL come visit LA, she does not want to visit her OWN mother.
I personelly have not seen how they all "operate", but I feel with my SISTER.
Unfortuneately this world is full of people like that. For me it was bad enough in 15y marriage that my in-laws treated me like a STRANGER. They surely let me feel this is not the daughter-in-law they wanted.
2006-09-18 06:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Susanne R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. My sisters boyfriend feels more comfortable around our family and doesn't have a real close relationship with his family.
So, I guess it's not that strange.
2006-09-18 06:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by horrorfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds normal. Every family creates its own atmosphere. Some are much more friendly than others.
2006-09-18 06:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I love my family. I feel awkward around my husband's. I feel like they pressure me to be more like them.
2006-09-18 06:16:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋