Men: Can you PLEASE help me?

Question

Things have been real tense with my husband and I lately, we don't make love very often,we get agrivated with each other. I asked him if he's bothered that we don't make love very often he told me no, but I have noticed that when he goes to kiss me he will just kiss me on the forhead, cheek, or nose. IF he kisses me on the lips its just real quick peck. What does this mean when your husband begins doing this?

Answer 1

baby girl, no matter how mad you guys get, don't use sex as one of the fighting tool. it would make your marriage headed to disaster. you always can kiss him on the lips and don't just wait for him to initiate it. try not to be the victim, take charge.

Answer 2

Physical intimacy is an integral part of any marriage. A pat on the butt can make a woman smile all day thinking about what it means coming from *her* man. The obvious issue here is infidelity. has his passion and affection been usurped by another. Also, what are the factors behind the 'real tense' situation between you two. Financial? Physical? Was something said that cannot be undone by an apology? If the lack of intimacy is the white elephant in the room, ignoring it won't solve anything. You can try tho old bailiwick of candlelight and lingerie one night, but I think a sit down talk is in order. Tell him you have needs and more importantly you WANT him to fulfill them. If he is inacapable of that, you deserve an explanation and he opwes you one as your husband and partner.

Answer 3

It would appear to me as though your husband has some underlying issues regarding your relationship that he is unable to express or bring forward. Most men find it easier to bottle up their anxieties and feelings rather than face them, as usually in society men are seen as the "stronger" of the sexes and thusly shouldn't be affect by such "trivial" issues.

It would help to talk to your husband and make it clear that if he believes there is something wrong in your relationship that it is easier for him to bring it out into the open rather than simply bottling it up. If there is something wrong just ignoring it won't make it go away. I won't say that the lack of sex is his main concern, but rather may be indicative of another problem, cause versus effect.

It may be hard to begin an open dialogue with him but give him time and hopefully he will be willing to talk with you about it. You can't force something like this as with such tenative issues he will undoubtably be wary of talking about them. Gentle persistence is the key. From now on don't become aggressive with him. Make it clear that unless he's willing to talk with you as adults rather than sorting to shouting at each other. If it does start to become aggressive then simply leave the room/house until he calms down. When he learns that he has to talk with you about these problems in a civilised manner, he will make it known to you.

Good luck, and I hope that whatever problems you may discuss can be worked out between the two of you.

Answer 4

I'm afraid that I have to concur with a number of answers. I have been through the same thing with my wife. I feel in love with someone else because of the lack of passion in my marriage.

I was getting it outside of my marriage and I became even more distant from my wife. This is my bet on what is happening. Sorry.

Answer 5

I'm not a guy but I think I can help. Sounds to me your husband is having an affair. I read all your past questions and this is no doubt in my mind. He speaks to an old girlfriend and doesn't tell you what they talk about, he looks at her pictures, he's lost interest in sex with you, you two seldom sleep together, he yells, throws and punches things, he doesn't care about your feelings, ect ect ect..... Girl get out while you can , you deserve better than that...life is just to short!

Answer 6

well he probally is not satisified with something you do. or he is stressed at work and you have higher expectations than he can uphold and is too nice of a person to say anything, Untill he can't take it any longer then it blows up bigger than life., Thats me i tend to do this when i am stressed out from my job and at home too. Good Luck Do the right thing i know you will

Answer 7

sounds like he lost interest with you ( or you in him ) for some reason and might have found another interest elsewhere-- sorry its not working out between ya'll but there is life afterwards -- if serious talking can not fix the problem well its better to split and find someone who is more open and caring good luck

Answer 8

when i read your previous question, my first instinct was a dental issue, probably HIS, sore mouth or bothersome tooth, that would make him irritable. or you may have bad breath from your own dental issue (although in my experience, women take better care of their teeth) ... make him a dental appt.

you did not specify whether it was you or him that limits sexual relations... but in my opinion, the fact that he is still kissing you elsewhere in your face seems to indicate some oral problem either yours or his ... if he had fallen out of love, you would not be getting any kisses

Answer 9

I think the recommendation for counseling is right on target. It seems you have tried to open the lines of communication and he has not wanted to so getting professional help would be advisable. Good luck.

Answer 10

my dear, don't get too suspicious with this cos it will not do u good in ur relationship. just tell him gently how u feel for eg if u like to spend more romantic and personal time for him etc. than to tell him indirectly u don't trust his love for u anymore. any doubt on a relationship will only bring negative effects. meanwhile spare a little of ur time with ur family and friends.