I have had a friend for over 14 years and he recently seems like he is acting differently. I recenlty got married and just bought a home. He is 35 and I am 32. I went to college with the guy and lately he has been slandering me and making lies about me as if he is still in high school. He has been acting this way more as of late. I am not sure if its because I have moved forward with my life and he hasnt. He is a major alcoholic who spends every night at the bar getting drunk and is involved with a 20 year old crack phene who he cant seem to let go. He also doesnt really work and spends most of his time frequenting dive bars during the week and weekends. I havent hung out with him as much because of his behaviors and I dont like going to bars with him and watching him get wasted. He wont go anywhere with me unless its a bar or a place thats serves alcohol. Should I try and work this out? He is a very defensive person. I want to keep the friendship but is it worth it in your opinion?
2006-09-18 04:42:16 · 12 answers · asked by Kam187 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He is jealous, but he probably doesn't realize it. I could put up with almost everything you mentioned, except the slander part. That, right there, makes it not worth it.
2006-09-18 04:46:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for tough love. Tell him that his alcoholism is affecting your friendship. He isn't the same person you first befriended as the alcohol is talking. Tell him that when he gets his drinking under control he is welcome to come over and be with you and your new husband. Other than that it is a sad thing and you must move on. He will have to hit bottom before he gets help. You have your new family to worry about now.
2006-09-18 04:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend seems like hes hurting, with you getting married and having a happy life he has turned into some one with things on his mind and to me he is playing up to get your attention but by slandering you is doing him no favors let him chill out and realise you have a life every one grows up and has family's he needs to know that you wont tolerate his behavior and if hes willing to put your friendship at risk is he really worth having as a friend
2006-09-18 04:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by private 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not worth it in any way.
Friendship is a two way street. He is harmful to you.
Stay away from him..............he is extremely jealous of you.
I had a friend like that who claimed to be my friend but undermined me every chance she got, was critical and tried to undermind my self esteem while she was extremely jealous of my looks, my boyfriend my house, EVERYTHING!!!!
Finally had to turn her loose about a year ago. No regrets for sure. The alcoholism is not something you can help him deal with, he must want to stay there and wallow in it, not something that you need to witness. Do not feel guilty.........he will surely bring you down if you do not stay away.
2006-09-18 04:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just outgrow people. You seem to have your life on track but he's still stuck in college mode. Just because you had fun in school doesn't mean that you'll still enjoy each other as adults. Go ahead and live your life and distance yourself from your friend.
2006-09-18 05:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think this true by yourself instead of asking people you dont even though...you should try to have him see how bad this is for him...he sounds like the stubborn kind of person who wont go to AA though.....think things through with him or by yourself though and you have a family to care for now, so it sounds to me like a tough situation
Good Luck =)
2006-09-18 04:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's acting this way cause, he's kinda pissed you got married and he hasn't. Just don't hang around him anymore, nobody likes to be taking care of drunks. I don't think he's really a friend otherwise he wouldn't act like that GoOd LuCk
2006-09-18 10:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by ralph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be worth it if he was your friend from a long time you should try and talk to him and get him some help for that alcohol as a friend you deserve it to him.
2006-09-18 04:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by lost_in_love_still 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut all ties with this guy, he sounds like bad news and u shouldn't be around him anymore.
He is jealous and he will continue to make trouble, he doesn't want to better himself so keep away from him PLEASE
2006-09-18 15:42:57 · answer #9 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try get him some professional help.
2006-09-18 04:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by Cherrelle18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋