My fiance passed away in June of this year. He died in his sleep of heart failure and didn't even know he was ill. We were together for 4yrs. and I still haven't got over it. I blame myself for the way I'm taking it because I let my world revolve around him and he felt the same about me. When I'm in a commited relationship I tend to let my world revolve around my man and be all about him, because I feel like if I'm with you I'm with you and nobody else. I recently met a man whom I'm attracted to mentally and physically and he's attracted to me as well. He's everything I want in a man and then some, I see all of the qualities in him that my fiance possessed and more. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know if I'm ready. Have I waited long enough? Yes, If No How long should I wait? I don't want to miss out on a good man, but I'm so confused Has anyone else been in a situation like this? What would you do? I need all of the advice I can get.
2006-09-18 04:42:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
1. You will never get over it. It just fades. And that's okay.
2. It does seem a bit soon, but I would go ahead with the other man VERY slowly. If he is worth it, he will understand. People will probably think you are just seeking solace in another human being. Think carefully about whether this is the case or not.
2006-09-18 04:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I am sorry for your loss. Second, only you and your heart will know when you are healed enough to move on. If your heart is telling you to go for it and pursue this new guy, then give it a try. If this new guy is truly a good man as you are saying, then he will be completely understanding of your situation. Perhaps a discussion of taking this incredibly slow with this new guy would help relax the situation. No matter what, it is going to feel very strange and may seem "wrong" at first. there is nothing that will take this away. But, as long as you are being true to yourself and your heart, then it will not steer you wrong. One thing to be careful of; this new guy is not your fiance, and will never be. Just don't go into the situation looking at it as a replacement for your deceased love. No one will ever be able to live up to that. I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-18 04:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I dont think it has been long enough and what you are really attracted to is the things about this man that remind you of your fiance. I would go very slow with your new relationship...its not fair to either of you if you are on the rebound. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy each other's company as friends at first.
2006-09-18 04:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs the human touch. We would die without it. Or at least "shrivel" emotionally and be less than we could be. I would advise you to be friends first with this man and see where your friendship goes and grows. He may be just a stepping stone on your journey through your grief. We all need that too, a friend to help us through the rough times. He may become more. There is no need to rush. I am sure you are well worth the wait. If his feelings for you are real they will be real for as long as you take to heal. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-09-18 05:37:38 · answer #4 · answered by sinned 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I am sorry to hear about your pain. Grief is timeless and some people get over things and cope with it faster than others. It all depends. You seem like you are coping very well or Do you feel the need to have someone in your life because it's sort of like a reboun? ask yourself that.. I hope it's not. You will know when you are ready to move on. Do u feel like you really want to be with someone because you r secure and not needy? or do you feel you are lonely? do it for you and do it for the right reasons.
If you have found a great guy...why not? but you have to be ready for you and when you do or if you are ready for this man ..please don't be all about him. Have time for yourself too.
2006-09-18 04:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you work on you for awhile. Take some courses you are interested in at a local community center or college. Exercise. Go out with the girls. Don't worry so much about a man being the answer to your happiness. You are the answer to your happiness.
2006-09-18 04:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by kathy s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry that this has happened. i choose you to take a jiffy an afternoon in trouble-free terms for you. you may stay reliable yet once you place on your self out, you heavily is not any reliable to the two one in each of you. you may desire to cry, it rather is a organic concern to do once you're in soreness from the unhappiness you experience. It enables you launch the emotion it is development and it needs to come lower back out some how. think of roughly all the reliable, and communicate approximately it all the time. confer with him as though there replaced into no longer something incorrect, examine to him, optimistically it rather is going to keep his techniques in action. till the Dr's say he won't get greater powerful have self belief he will, with all of you there he will know that he's enjoyed. supply it time enable him heal, after which you will know the quantity of his harm. you apart from might could think of what he could choose you to do. think of back on talks and what he could choose you to do if some thing happened to him. as quickly as lower back, i'm sorry. I lost my uncle whilst a beam fell on him, years in the past.
2016-12-12 10:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think you have waited long enough. get on with your life. don't you think you ex. fiance would want you to go with your life? life is too short to let things pass you by, grab all the happiness your heart can hold.. especially if he attracts you mentally physically. but i didn't hear you say anything about emotionally...
2006-09-18 04:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by cmcinelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will ALWAYS compare your next man to him..
Time heals all wounds, and I think you need to lay off this man, and just talk to him from afar, until you know you are not rebounding.
2006-09-18 04:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting won't bring your fiance back will it ? Move on with life, or it will move on without you.
2006-09-18 04:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋