does anyone else think our health "professionals" have become...?

Question

desensitised? I only ask because of my own experiences, and others I have read on here. When i miscarried 3 years ago, I was in bits when i went to the hospital. I had 2 asian doctors to give me a D&C. Both totally ignored me whilst it took place and spoke to each other in a different language. They were very rough and when it was over all they said to me was 'u can go now'! When I asked what is going to happen now, and how am i goin to feel, the response was "pick up a photocopy leaflet on the way out". In reception the nurses were laughing and joking with each other, I couldn't take anymore and burst out crying and ran out of hospital.
No one seemed to care at all. I live in UK and was wondering if anyone else had experienced such coldness from our so called caring profession?

Now 5 weeks pregnant and keeping my fingers crossed
x

Answer 1

Lisago, even as a man, I know exactly how you feel. I sincerely hope that everything goes well for you this time. I will tell you what happened to us, in London, some 37 years ago and although your experience was shocking in the extreme, things were much worse then. My wife, a nurse, was about a month pregnant when during an emergency, she fell and miscarried. We attended the local hospital and I saw her on a movable stretcher with the minute fetus in a jar on her lap as she was wheeled to the ward. It was not a maternity ward, but a general women's ward. The majority of the other patients were prostitutes and young girls who were there for abortions. My wife was devastated and (and this is how I know how you felt) it was one of the saddest times of our lives. The senior nurse caused so much problems in the ward that I had to see the Matron and had my wife moved elsewhere. I was totally ashamed of the nursing profession and the National Health for many years after the event............ Take care of yourself and hope to hear good news in about 30 weeks time.........

Answer 2

oh honey, that is terrible. My heart breaks for you. I have noticed the same thing. I did some research and I found a midwife. They are so loving and pro-life. They will take care of your every need. You may also want to consider a doula. They assist you through your pregnancy and birth. A midwife is a registered nurse. In canada you can still have a hospital birth but the midwife delivers the baby. I had both my children in a pool at home with the people I love around me. Not whatever cranky nurse was on at the time. There is no guarantee that your doctor will be able to deliver your baby but the midwife will be there rain or shine. It is completely safe as well infant mortality rate is much less with a midwife. Check it out and get an interview. I hope you find this to be a much more personal, loving experience for you, oyur partner and your baby.

Answer 3

It does seem that the vast majority of medical professionals have opted against keeping amicable and comforting bedside manner as a top priority. I think doctors forget that in addition to being physicians they are also teachers and counselors and have their patients mental and emotional, as well as physical, states in their hands. Perhaps they forget that what is routine in their offices is not a part of their patient's day-to-day and, thus, it is their job to explain as necessary and be comforting to EVERY patient.
My best friend delivered her daughter by c-section three weeks ago, when she arrived at the hosptial, in labor, they didn't give her a wheelchair, she had to WALK down the hall while having contractions, then they told her her husband couldn't go into the operation room with her at first, so they brought her into the room alone and made her stand by the door (still having intense contractions, mind you) until they finished prepping the room and utensils, and then made her climb onto the table by herself. Her husband was allowed in about 20 minutes later, during which time she was alone and having contractions and none of the several medical professionals in the room said anything to her.. After delivery, they got her into a room and checked her vitals and her body temp was very low (not uncommon after c-sections) so suddenly she has a ton of people rushing around her yelling for warm towels and wrapping her up in blankets. Noone explained that this might happen after surgery, noone told her not to be alarmed. She said it was the most frightening experience of her life. This is her second child, and if she becomes pregnant again she's been told she will have to deliver via c-sec again, so she's decided she is absolutely NOT having anymore children simply because she does not want to endure the circumstances in which she had to deliver her baby ever again.

All it would have taken was a few kind words to help keep her calm and a little explanantion of what to expect, and the experience would have been ENTIRELY different.

I'm hoping you have or find a doctor who still has their priorities in line. Patients first!

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 4

Good luck and congrats with your pregnancy! I live in the US, but I feel it is the same over here. There are many caring physicians and nurses, however, there are a few bad apples that taint the whole industry. I am now going through the same thing, as I think I am going through a miscarraige, (no bleeding, so I am not sure), and my doctor will not see me. I had to request a blood test, as it was not offered. I am still waiting 6 days later for the results. My doctor just expects me to "wait it out". I am dreading the fact that I may be facing a D&C, hopefully it will not be as awful as an experience as yours (what a heart wrenching experience). Anyways, I have had good experiences as well, especially with the birth of my first. Hopefully this time around for you will be a joyful experience.

Answer 5

It does seem that way. Some doctors are better then others.

I think that doctor's have just become so busy. Also, just think of how they would feel if they let themselves feel for all their patients. I think that would be emotionally exhausting. They can't afford to let their work be affected by how they feel, so they have to learn early on to separate and desensitise themselves.

I also think that the nurses are just trying to make the most of their day. Their not laughing and joking around because of you and the other patients. They are simply in their work place and act the same way you probably do in yours.

I know it is upsetting, and I've had my share of insensitive doctors in the past few weeks while visiting the ER. It just makes me really appreciate the doctors and nurses that do show that they care and actually take the time to talk to you, listen to your problems and deal with them before going on to the next person.