I've been married for six years, I've watched my husband stay exactly the same. I feel after having 2 kids I've grown in every aspect of my life, mentally, spiritually, and morally. He hasn't changed and acts like he wishes he was still single with no responsabilities. I am not concerned with an affair, it's just a total lack of ambition or motivation when it comes to us his family. I try not to be a bitchy wife, so as a result we rarely speak to each other. If I ask him to do anything he considers it bitching. He pays no attention to me or my two beautiful boys who are the best. I feel like he's missing out and he doesn't even care.
2006-09-18 04:35:06 · 22 answers · asked by green eyed lady 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him and let him know how you feel, then if possible go into counseling. Don't give up too soon, try first and if nothing changes after all of your efforts then move on.
Good Luck, hope everything turns out the way you want.
2006-09-18 04:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not know what he is missing!!! Guys get lazy they think after so long they do not have to show no attention. There wrong a relationship will only survive if the effort is there form both ends. I am sure that if you left him he would then see what he should have been doing al theese years. Why does it always have to come to that??? So my opion SAY SOMETHING !!! You have to make him known of ur feelings or neither one of you are doing your job. Tell him how you feel give it all you got if its still the same after some time then its only going to get worse so you need to decide if thats what you wanna deal with for the rest of ur life. The main people thats affected the worse is the kids they need to see good values if they see there daddy acting like that then when they get older then they are going to think that they can treat women like that its just not healthy.
2006-09-18 04:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by ASH YA DIGG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question hit hard as I am going through this very same thing.
One thing I can say is, Talk to your husband. He probably has no idea what your feeling. My husband just told me a few days ago he wanted a divorce because we never talk any more and HE felt I didn't want him around any more. I felt HE didn't want ME because he never talked to me and wasn't her very much. Thankfully we decided to work on it some more TOGETHER to see if we can save our relationship. It's not easy, but we still Love each other, we were just assuming what the other person was feeling instead of asking, because neither wanted to "rock the boat". Sometime you have to force yourself to speak up.
Just try that first. Then you'll know what your next step should be.
2006-09-18 04:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you're not happy, than sticking it out isn't going to help. Try and sit him down and talk to him about it. Find out why he is not ambitous. If he's not willing to try and work on it, then maybe the relationship just isn't right for the two of you. Don't stay together just because you feel that you have to, believe me, thats what my parents did, and the lack of converstaion and loving ness that they never had wtih eachother, really affects how i view relationships. They (your children) are watching everything you guys do. Try and work it out, and if it doesn't work, then move on..It will be hard, i can't even imagine, but girl, do it for you and the boys. You deserve the best!! Good luck.
2006-09-18 04:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by racingurl37 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not uncommon for two people to grow apart because one is evolving the the other is content "as is". It happened to me. He does ot sound like he wants to mature and take on his role as a dad. If you are happy with who you are and he is happy with who he is you will continue to grow further apart. This is one of the things that people don't think about before they get married. What you want out of your future means more than where you want to live or how many kids you want to have. Its how you change and grow with age.
He may be depressed. See if he will go to a doctor. If not, its time to call it quits. Its never a good idea to stay together for the kids and they will only have an unloving couple and their example and role model in life.
2006-09-18 04:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well calling it quits is up to you, only you know how you feel. So just ask yourself a few questions? Are my needs being met? Am I happy? Can I see myself spending the rest of my life with this man? Do I accept him the way that he is? Do I accept this relationship the way that it is? Am I in love with this man or do I love him? Being in love and loving someone are two different things. If you are not getting what you want and need out of this relationship, then you might want to consider letting go of it. Take some time and think about what you want. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have your needs met!
2006-09-18 05:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is alot of work and it seems to be that you are doing most of it, A marriage is also something you don't want to throw out the window.. Maybe you should talk to him, ask him what he is willing to do to save the marriage. Maybe you should suggest some type of councling or something. At that point he are giving him the choose to make. Good luck this is not easy.
2006-09-18 05:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen this scenario way too much in my lifetime. I really don't know what causes this......but men, after a period of time in a relationship (married or otherwise), seem to fall into a fog of complacency! In simpler terms, they become too comfortable in their relationship. In my view, if you love a woman, never stop reminding her how beautiful she is. Women, much more than men, need to hear, see and feel that they are loved!
(not making excuses for him.....just telling you as I see it)
You need to shake up your marriage a bit. Have you tried spicing things up a bit in the bedroom....if you know what I mean? Perhaps you could arrange a night out for just the two of you? If he still doesn't respond, then he needs a swift kick in the *ss!!!
2006-09-18 04:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hate to tell you but its time for you to go. If he does'nt care about you or your family you need to do the right thing and leave him. It will probably be for the best. You and your children deserve better, if not someone who cares for you and participates in your life, then the freedom to do it on your own.
2006-09-18 04:37:27 · answer #9 · answered by kmankman4321 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess you can try the game out thru your boys... when tthey pay a li'l attention more to their father, its only natural that he will pay attention to them... Same way, once you see that happening, you can try the game as well
2006-09-18 04:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by Little Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋