Crazy but true.?

Question

Lost and wandering what to do.
I have been married for 15 years, and fallen out of love with my husband. I wish I could say he is a horrible person, but he is not.
I wish I could say he is abusive but he's not.
We got married on the fly---meaning I met him and two months later we were married, then had a baby. (Yup I was pregnant) I guess I don’t always make good choices. I don’t regret having my daughter; we now had her and another. I love being mommy.
I just don't have feelings for my hubby. I have tried to make myself get over it, and deal with things. I can't the thought of him touching me does nothing to excite me. I am almost repulsed at thought of us touching.
Could it be that I have grown apart from him?
My sisters tell me I seem so unhappy and have changed.
I don't want to hurt our children so I try to act as if everything fine.

Before the questions are asked, no there is not anyone else.
I am not having an affair.
I think I got married to young and now it’s starting to have an impact on me

Answer 1

I think you need to look into marriage counseling...

Answer 2

Surely you don't mean it when you say you wish he was a horrible person, or you wish he was abusive. Likely you don't know how it is to live with a person like that. I, too, had a wonderful husband, who I loved, but not in love with. It wasn't fair to him, because he chose to ignore the signs, and love me in spite of it. It hurt me to hurt him. But there came a time when I became too attracted to another man, and I refused to be unfaithful to this husband, so I finally left him. He was hurt, but not as hurt as my having an affair would have hurt him. I believe that if you are repulsed by the thought of him touching you, that your marriage is over. By now, you can't go back. You have already divorced him in your mind and spirit.
Good luck to you,

Answer 3

Could be i felt the same way with my kids dad and i was married young eventually it lead to affairs maybe try counseling that might help. Or just a little separation so you have some time for you that's something it doesn't sound like you have had alot of. Good Luck

Answer 4

Life choices and the elements of time to make a bed and we lay in it and then later say "Oh, by the way, I would rather be single".

More choices eh!!

Look at it this way, if you must leave your husband to make your self happy so that your children can see Mommy happy and loved and be loved then you must do what you have to do in order to get there, but be cautious because you have gotten pregnant twice already, these negative feelings and who's to say that you may not change your mood of thought again would put you in a category of incompetence and even fickled.

Answer 5

I guess you need to ask yourself whether you really want to save the marriage or end it? If you want to save the marriage, you want to fall in love with your husband again, then you need to determine what caused you to lose it? Are things routine, are you bored, did you feel like you missed something in your life by getting married so early?

From there, you can determine what you want to do. Did you need to experience single life, is separation something you'd like to do in order to get back what you feel you've been missing.

You're not "in love" with your husband, but do you still love him? Do you feel it can not be rediscovered.

Until you determine why you don't feel like you love him anymore (only you can answer this), you really can't determine your course of action (nor should you, you may regret it later if you jump the gun).

You may have made quick decisions to get married, but make sure you think things through before you decide to break up your family and end something that has been in your life for 15 years.

Answer 6

first i think you need to stop and ask yourself why you stayed together for so long and when did you start to fall out of love with him. Didnt say how old you are but maybe you are starting to go through early menapause....that can change the way a woman feels about herself, her hubby and even her children. Before you decide your marraige is over, id see a counselor....(if you wanna save your marriage).......you cant "pretend" for long in front of kids.....they know when things are wrong trust me Good luck and wish you the best

Answer 7

Feeling repulsed by ones touch...........I don't think that can be over come.
If your sisters sense unhappiness, it won't belong before the kids do, or have already. Staying unhappy isn't healthy for you nor your children.
Does your husband sense your withdrawl or don't you know?
I would find it hard for me to tell him he repules me.
I'm not one for suggesting divorce, because there are maybe kinds of help to help you out there, but if your repulsed, I'd at least seperate for awhile for now and seek couciling to see if there are areas you can over come with the repulsion.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

Everything you said is typical of a person that needs to WORK on the relationship and quit thinking about her selfish feelings.

Marriages take work and there are times where you don't feel the same you did when you walked down the aisle.

See a counselor together.

You need to see a counselor for yourself as well, and for the well being of your kids think about them before you think of destroying their lives with your self centered ideas..

Answer 9

Love is a choice not a feeling. Not too many people realize that. I am one of them I have been married for 15 years also and have had three kids by the same man. I wonder about my love for him and he is a jerk. But I choose to continue to love him and stay with him.

Answer 10

You both grew older and found your real selves.

Now's the time to do something about it.

My friend and I were discussing that everyone wants to jump right in to the typical married with 2.5 kids deal. What's the need? Enjoy youth, take your time, plan ahead. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Answer 11

Have you discussed this with your hubby? Have you considered counseling? Have you considered an affair to see is your husband is really that bad or do you think maybe you have lesbian tendencies and it would be any man touching you that might be the problem?