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My husband and I just got married 6mnths ago we have 4 children between the two of us. Two of the four kids (my kids)live with us. Because of problems at home my husband sister (who is 18) is now living with us. Althogh she is 18 she is not ready to venture off by herself nor is she ready for collage. How can we teach her to become more independent and a responsible person without being to harsh on her?

2006-09-18 04:25:54 · 3 answers · asked by its just me 3 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

3 answers

Teaching one to be responsible and independent doesn't have to be done in a harsh way.
I'd first really consintrate on her strenghs and weakness's. I'd all along be interested in her interests.
Then I'd research myself on what different agencies could be of assistance and try and get her interest peaked to take one of those paths.
No need to pussy foot around her, she is 18. So until then, make her more responsible right there in your own home. Chores, babysitting.

2006-09-18 04:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0 0

Make her get a job and attend school part-time if not full time. She must share the load at home to show some appreciation. Don't give her money for anything other than necessities. You have 4 children to provide for already. Give her a roof and 3 squares in exchange for some child care (not all they 4 ur kids) and help around the house. Don't let her use the house like a motel coming and going at all hours of the night. You have children present and this sets a bad example. Take her to put in applications if no public trans. avail. Set limits such as drinking, having guys over etc...She will soon want to become independent enough to set her own rules.

2006-09-18 04:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0 0

take her out to lunch--just two of you or with your husband as well and find out what she likes. don't buy the "i don't know what i want in life"... you get clues as to how she spends her time. someone once says that we spend most of our time doing what we're passionate about, even if it's in a distorted form.

stimulate her to dream excited dreams and make a goal to get there. start from baby steps and hold her accountable for the action plan.

read The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, The Winning Attitude by John C. Maxwell, and Make A Life Not Just A Living by Ron Jenson. if you want something light to start with, try The Present by Spencer Johnson (it's a small story book for kids and grownups about enjoying the "present"--in both senses of the word). you choose how you want to do it... you read and get a separate copy for her, or you can also sit, say, after dinner for 15 mins to read the book out aloud for everyone. it's so much fun and it changes lives. there;s a lot to apply from those books there.

2006-09-18 04:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mizz G 5 · 0 0

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