Girl 27 Boy 32 first longterm relationship for both. Boy meets girl...boy loves girl...girl believes boy...boy says lets get married...girl says yeah...boy changes mind,,,girl is confused..boy changes mind girl says yeah ...he changed his mind about thirty times over a 2 year course. Girl kept taking him back hoping this is the time....girl clearly desperate...boy clearly unable to make commitment......finally boy cheats girl falls ill they part ways for two years....upon meeting again both say that they never stopped thinking about it ..boy and girl back together...boy gives girl ring....then for two more years there is a problem ..boy is committed but now has and terrible drug habit....girl waits to see if this is the time...boy gets sober...months go by ....boy moves in with girl....they plan to be engaged again....boy has some issues to work out first.....girl has grown tired and lost trust, she is hur.....boy feels guilty.and angry
2006-09-18 04:21:34 · 24 answers · asked by sweet pea 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl now 35 feels upset that she spent 7 years "waiting" and boy now wants to wait to marry because they are frustrated ...both believe that the other person will hurt them ..he by flipflopping...her by not trusting and angry.......HOW MUCH LONGER SHOULD GIRL WAIT .???? Boy swears undying love ,changed man, sober, etc. girl wanted children and home...now both agree that that time came and went and now want to pursue careers and travel...(girl has teen, both enjoy the teen that is disabled). PLEASE HELP
2006-09-18 04:28:14 · update #1
Boy now 40 girl soon to be 36....stick it out another year? or break up..? Their past haunting yet alot was learned and both see this.
2006-09-18 04:30:11 · update #2
normally they say patience is a virtue, but in this case it appears there is so much heartache and not a bit of positive outcome so far, so i would get out while i can, before there is any more heartache. i'm sure the girl will find her mr.right but this seems a really sad situation. she seems like a really good and loving person and see the positive side in him and peolpe, but it's also true what they say love is blind. so what goes around will come around-your love that you give and patience you give to him will pay off in a different way you will find mr. right and i don't think it is the guyu that you are currently seeing. that's if you are talking about yourself here. whoever is in this situation i wish them goodluck!
2006-09-18 05:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion the girl should move on, the boy sounds like he has multiple "life" issues to deal with and needs to gain a lot more maturity before making a commitment to anyone.
FOR THE WOMAN:
1. Ask yourself if this person is the role model you want for children?
2. Ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust this person with your emotional and financial security?
3. Ask yourself if you want to be hurt again?
4. Ask yourself if you think he will change?
Remember, you cannot change him, only he can do that. You have no control over another persons actions or choices. I would suggest that if you answer "NO" to any of the above questions you move on with your life and find someone new.
FOR THE MAN:
1. You need help and ongoing treatment to avoid drugs and alcohol for the rest of your life.
2. You need to resolve what ever issues and problems that keep you from making a commitment to be the best man you can be, for yourself first, and others second.
3. You need to grow up, mature a lot before you bring a child into this world or marry. Both are lifetime commitments.
4. I would suggest at age 40 you are probably set in your ways.
Just a few thoughts....
2006-09-18 11:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a f*cking drama. Boy doesn't know what the f*ck he wants, even worse with drug problems now I'd imagine. Girl is a dafty for putting up with confused boy for so long, boy needs some professional help, girl needs to close the book on this dude and move on. All I have read in your answer amounts to "wasted time" for both of them so far.
2006-09-18 11:26:22 · answer #3 · answered by rondavous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That sound like something out of movie or book. If you are telling your own story, I hope that you can figure out if all of this is really what you want. I suggest that 'girl' moves on and tries to find the real happiness that she deserves.
2006-09-18 11:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by April G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl needs to get smart and find a different boy that doesn't have commitment issues.
2006-09-18 11:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the girl has given the boy more than enough time and patience and needs to move on.
2006-09-18 11:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say the boy you are dating can not make up his mind so I would find someone else that can make that commitment, and you will be married!
2006-09-18 11:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by Ali L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's clearly showing he has no desire to be wed.
Is marriage that important to you? Living together can be just as satisfying.
If marriage is what your looking for, move on! Stop hearing his excuses. Start making some of your own!!
2006-09-18 11:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are never gonna be happy with each other. you can only try so much before it gets to where there is no use. and that situation is definately at that point. they need to be just friends, if they think they can handle that, and find someone else that will make each of them happy.
2006-09-18 11:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by Drizzt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl should be happy they are not yet married and she should move on and never look back
2006-09-18 11:29:59 · answer #10 · answered by gemini 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋