we fight all the time and i am in the process of getting a divorce, butit is because he used to leave me at home with our daughter all the time all day and night. so i told him i wanted a divorce and now he is trying to make everything better he is doing what he should have been doing all along now. what should i do.
2006-09-18 04:20:46 · 23 answers · asked by WONDERFULMOM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess he saw that he was going to lose you he is making a effort to change things. You should be grateful for that,most men wouldn't even try. So you have to give him credit for that. It's up to you if you want to try again, your the only one that knows the situation. Good Luck!
2006-09-18 04:24:19 · answer #1 · answered by Backwoods Barbie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that divorce should be the last resort, but it seems like it has come to that point. I believe that a marriage is about a bond between two people, and true love is the key to that puzzle.
If he cared for you like he was supposed to, he would not have been going out all the time, and he would have been a man and listened to you when you were telling him how much that bothered you. Relationships are all about communication and compromise. It sounds like it was basically all his way, and i would guess that when you would be mad or upset, he wouldnt been much comfort or turn it back around on you. He got used to a life-style where you were putting up with him being selfish. He could go out and have fun whenever he wanted, and come home to you. He thought he had the best of both worlds. You now threaten to take one of those away, so he is pretending to try and make things all better, but the truth would seem to be that things will just go back to the way they were. Kissing up and saying sweet things doesnt fix the problem. A problem that isnt fixed will just continue. Its hard to be in your situation im sure, but i am glad to hear that you had the strenght to move forward with your life, and try to have a better life for you and your children. He can still be a dad, if he chooses to be. It will take time to recover, and it will be a battle im sure. Just remember that you dont need to sacrafice your happieness for his enjoyment of a lifestyle that isnt a compromise with yours. I wish you the best of luck, and i hope this helps.
2006-09-18 04:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when he realized you were serious about leaving, that was enough to make him change. People CAN change.... some people can anyway. I'd at least give him some time and see if he actually is making an effort to change but I'd also keep your guard up a little bit, knowing that it might not happen. If he's trying to control who you are and what you want to do though and that never does change, then you and your daughter would be better off without him no matter how hard it is for you at first to be on your own.
2006-09-18 04:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not you give him too much power!!! What will he take away next? I was in your situation and now currently divorced a stay at home mom with no skills is what I am. I am now in the process of growing a back bone! And not feeling sorry for him any more! It will help me move on with my life. Please women out there have back bone you have rights in your relationships. Don't give up those rights of yours for love it is simply not worth it!!! How much can he take away from you till you say enough is enough? How many lines will he cross? Will it take almost hurting your daughter like mine has before I made him leave? Which I will never forgive!!! Has he said he will never do it again and appoligized? If so give him a chance if he reverts let the door hit him in his behind. You have alot of thinking to do good luck!!
2006-09-18 04:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think once married..the "hanging out" with friends should be much lessened by both partners..and more time spent together with each other and children...Nothing wrong with going out with your friends once in a blue moon - but you should both feel comfortable with who you are going out with ..yes. Dictate? no...but..shouldn't come to that - you should be able to discuss like adults...and if he is THAT uncomfortable about certain friends of yours - then he is your husband and his feelings should matter to you...and come first.
If he is trying to do what is right now, and you don't care?...then really what is left to ask or discuss?...tell him it's too late and move on. Personally, I don't see being left at home with your child as bad...yes, he should have been there too - but one child ...and it's your own precious daughter..it shouldn't have been hard or a bad thing...if he wants to turn that around now...I personally would give him the chance for your daughter's sake (and she should be most important)..but if you don't believe his aim is true?...again..what's the point of asking or staying...move on...just keep your daughter as your primary focus of concern...and hopefully he will too...divorced or not.
2006-09-18 04:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by svmainus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce Divorce Divorce.
Welcome to Divorce nation.
2006-09-18 10:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the only problem you have you should be thankful. You shouldn't be threatening divorce over such a minor thing. Talk now and tell him your feelings about getting out. Maybe you have his attention now and he will listen. Be careful with the divorce issue he might just agree.
2006-09-18 04:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by konfusedkathy2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's up to you... If you want to give him a chance you could but if you don't think it's worth the trouble than get the divorce... If I were you I'd stick with him and see if he really has changed for the the rest of the marriage.. You can always finish the divorce if he isn't meeting your expectations...
2006-09-18 04:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by secret agent lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it really isn't any sturdy. Have a verbal substitute at the same time with your hubby, the perfect difficulty you want to do is attempt to regulate him yet remind him, what you imagine, and how you sense capacity a lot more effective than dealing with this loser chum. The "chum" will finally have your husband doing issues he would not do round human beings. Birds of a feather, and lay with canines, you get fleas. tell him the way you sense, enable him settle on. Ask him if he might want to be ok you putting out with a chum like this, adult men everywhere, eating, messing round employing inebriated, might want to he like this?
2016-11-27 21:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST REMEMBER PEOPLE DONT CHANGE.. AND IF HE HAS THAT THEORY THAN MOST LIKELY HE IS INSECURE DO TO HIS ACTIONS.. I WOULD KEEP MY EYE ON HIM.. GET A BABYSITTER FOR A NIGHT OR TWO.. HEAD OUT WITH THE LADIES,HAVE SOME DRINKS AND GET YOURSELF INTO A LITTLE GOOD CLEAN FUN.. AS FOR THE DIVORCE.. MAKE THINGS RIGHT FOR THE KID.. GET THERE OPINION IF THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH TO JUDGE.. HAVE FUN THOUGH AND SMILE
2006-09-18 04:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by SIFTER J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋