any good advise??

Question

my husband is paying child support of $600 a month to his daughter from his previous marriage....she rings him over and over asking for more money.....we have 2 of our own children....his daughter is 18 and can look for a job right? so why can't my husband tell her to get a job? she is always emotionally black mailing him ....always pretending that she is going to commit suicide and her mum encourages this....its driving me crazy....because he never told me he had a daughter b4 we married....and i would have got along if she wasn't such a lunatic....I don't want to expose my 1 and 3 yr olds to this weirdo who is also a sponger.....I work too ....and its hard to make ends meet....but people are just selfish. what can we do??

Answer 1

You got yourself a pretty tough situation there. First, these two(the 18yr kid & Mother) Are blood suckers, they live out of others work pay, I mean the Kid Very old and should be an independant young lady. The Mother is just supporting her so she gets money from your husband.

Just make sure you notify the Police and the Child support system of this because I believe she should be independant from now on.

Good luck

Answer 2

If she is 18 and not in college - he does not have to pay her child support any longer. If she is 18 -25 yrs old and still in college - he must pay what is state mandated. You did not make clear if this was the case or not. If she is 18 and not in college - she should be supporting herself...he should help her out a little from time to time - but basically on her own.
She sounds as though she may have mental problems not having been raised by her father, and that you are not seeing them to be actual or real. Problem is - that is HIS daughter and not yours so you really have no say in it or how he handles it at all...and he SHOULD be spending time with her too (no matter what)...and if you don't like that, then he'll have to set aside a portion of his time to do so without you. That seems a shame. If he's not already doing so - that's a shame too. All 3 of his children (no matter their age) should be getting equal amounts of his time AND his love and support. You as his wife should support him on that.

Answer 3

Well this is a hard question, His daughter can start looking for a job already isn't true that when you turn 18 he doest pay child support no more i think they are just to ignorant to realized i think they want to ruin your marriage the mom and the daughter so be careful help your husband out let him now you are here for him on whatever circumstances and about the daughter don't worry she is old enough i hope everything works out for you guys.

Answer 4

If she is 18, I don't think he is supposed to still be paying child support, because she is no longer a minor and NOT a child. she is an independent adult who should be taking care of herself.

The next time she threaten suicide, call the police and tell them. They will pick her up and take her to the hospital, where she will spend at least 3 days in a lock down facility being evaluated for pyschiatric problems. If she is serious, this may help her get a grip on reality. If she is NOT serious about suicide, this will teach her a valuable lesson about her accusations and will probably make her think twice about using this form of blackmail in the future.

Answer 5

I think is that you husband should just pay what he is suppose to but when the daughter ask for more i would tell her i can't give you any more your old enough to go get a job. Lean how this real world is.When it comes to suicide its just to get attention and also she is in a situation she shouldn't be in. Wanting help most of the time. But her being 18 its time to grow up learn what this world is just about and how hard it is to make money and pay bills. well i hoped i helped ya. good luck

Answer 6

When you marry someone with children they are responsible for them financially and hopefully emotionally too ....... Good for your husband for paying child support. Mine paid $250 a week for many years! Instead of rejecting his daughter maybe you could accept her and try to be a "friend" she has a mother and it seems like she's not a good influence on her if she's reverting to suicide threats. Try to be patient and supportive. I've been on both sides and it's not easy for the kids to be "put in the middle" not matter how old they are.

Answer 7

If this girl is already 18, aren't his child support obligations are ready up? Or is she still in school?
Does this upset your husband? If it doesn, he should seek help in helping him NOT feel guilty or be blackmailed.
Sounds like ole mum is in need of mental help.
It's really going to have to be your husband who puts a stop to this. There isn't much you alone can do about it. If his support payments are too high, he can always ask the courts to look at his income to have it lowered.

Answer 8

This answer is going to make you angry, but the only selfish person in the scenario is the man who neglected to tell you he had a child BEFORE he married you. If this is any indication on how he handles the rest of his life, your and your children's future is in for a great deal of chaos. I feel sorry for the daughter who has a father that doesn't feel she is even important enough to be mentioned to the woman he is going to marry. And you wonder why the kid has issues?????

Answer 9

I know all about this. My step daughter is 16 and drives us crazy. She asks for more money, clothes, cars, and her Christmas presents are never good enough. So we told her to use her child support money on her needs that is what it is for. And believe it she stopped calling. No more crazy step daughter. Just keep telling her that and she will eventually stop asking. I did and it worked.

Answer 10

Well talk to your husband about it and tell himthat its hard enough for you guys to make ends meet. If his daughter is 18 you guys only have what...one more year to go for child support? Just talk to you husband, you 2 are together now....but his past is still with him no matter what.