's mother, who also happens to be his ex-wife. They've been apart for a while now, but I think he'll still be upset. This is a real moral dilemma.
2006-09-18 04:11:11 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whew! You had me really worried there for a second!! I thought it was his daughter - I was going to recommend you turn yourself in to the police right now......
Since it is his EX-wife, and they are no longer together - why should he know? As long it was consensual between two adults, then no harm, no foul. Do you always include him on all of the details of your sexual trysts? Unless, you are considering a long-term relationship with this woman, and know he will find out about it eventually - or if you are aware that he still holds deep feelings of love for her - I wouldn't reveal your hand just yet.
2006-09-18 04:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by oscarschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..when I first saw the question...I thought the 11 yr old daughter was your victim...whew...now I dont have to chew your butt out. Ok, your more normal then my initial thought. If hes that good of a friend I think you should tell him before the ex gets spiteful and throws it in his face being revengeful. Though I do think its best to stay away. Why take another friends leftovers. I guess I shouldnt put it that way. What didnt work for him maybe perfect for you. Tred on cautious grounds. I hope all this was worth it.
2006-09-18 11:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if you want to keep the ex- wife or the friend and then tell the other one what your decision is and why. Maybe the ex-wife just wanted sex -- not a relationship -- if so -- let the sex go. If it is more for both of you, then you HAVE to make a choice to tell him/her and/or let him/her go.
2006-09-18 11:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by Freya T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel it such a dilemma then keep the secrets. Why would you want to possible ruin a friendship with information that he does not need to know. Hey, I have friends that had sex with my ex, but friends are hard to come by, ex's are easy to find.
2006-09-18 11:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you already did something immoral....now you just have to deal with the fact that your best friend is going to be mad with you. And just might end your friendship. Just remember next time not to get yourself in a situation that could compromise your integrity. All you can do now is tell him straight. Theres not way around it, unless you just don't tell him.
2006-09-18 11:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lost In Love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from experience If you want him to find out from you and not her I would tell him first. Yeah, it would be nice to think that consenting sex between adults is just that, but the minute she needs to throw something in his face you might be it. So don't lie about it because the truth always comes out eventually.
2006-09-18 11:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by brunette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be up front and honest. The worst thing in the world would be for your friend to find out from someone else. Even if he stops being friends with you, at least you know you did all you could by being up front and honest with him.
2006-09-18 11:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. Pretty scary question with an 11 year old in the title.
2006-09-18 11:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Pencil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah! The emboldened portion of your question out of context looks pretty scary.
You already screwed up. Just tell him and get it over with. Maybe next time you won't make such a stupid move.
2006-09-18 11:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by CE S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am just relieved that you didn't have sex with his eleven year old daughter...
Seriously, he made the choice to let her go. She has a right to have a relationship with whomever she chooses.
2006-09-18 11:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋