Does your past really determine your future?

Question

..is it really possible that people can overcome the scars the past have left on their psyche and act as if it never really happened?

No trap intended ,Mattezx1369..l just want to know what you think..

i mean mike..

You got that right,Fred..

Answer 1

Hmmm.

Well, I think we should clarify the options just a little, if that's okay...I see two general options in a situation like this:

* People can overcome the scars of their past and use those old wounds to find a positive way to live, becoming stronger and more willing to give themselves to others.

* People can ignore the scars of their past and pretend that the wounds never occurred. When they do that, they end up being even "more controlled" by their wounds than they realize.

We cannot ignore our past without losing part of our identity. Think of someone who cannot create new memories. Who are they? They don't know anymore. When we think of who we are, we think of what has happened to us.

So when people get divorced, for example, and the marriage is lost, it FEELS like part of their life no longer counts and did not even exist for them. All those memories feel as if they have been invalidated. That is why divorce is either emotionally devastating or (if the person toughens themselves, to avoid the pain) makes a person cold and hard and thus imbalanced and messed up until they deal with the issue.

So ignoring the past -> losing part of ourselves -> negative behavior. We ignore our pain at our own peril.

I think healthy people are those who have accepted what happened to them in the past but do not let the pain from those wounds make their future choices for them.

Instead of reacting to things, they acknowledge they still hurt, and then use the knowledge of those experiences to make better choices than they would have before, and they can even "use" their pain to motivate them to do positive things for others.

A bad past usually either destroys someone's life, or it shapes and refines them so that they now have a purpose and empathy for other people -- it makes or breaks us.

[I have expressed this in purely psychological terms, and it does work on that level. For me personally, there's also a strong Christian component. I think God helps us learn how to use our weaknesses and bad experiences for Him -- it's part of our revealing his strength in our weakness, the resurrection of a "dead" past.]

Many of the good things we do can be driven by our ability to empathize with other people because we too have been hurt.

To be realistic, I know sometimes things seem far too large to overcome. For example, I talked with someone who was dealing with the pain of infidelity by their spouse and was just overwhelmed by hopelessness, feeling like they could never get over it even when they wanted to -- the emotions come out of left field when they least expect them.

When you're trying to deal with past pain, the only way to do it is one step at a time. It's too hard to look at that mountain far in the distance; you can only take a step, and then another, and deal with each day as it comes.

Answer 2

Acting as if experiences of the past never occurred is repressing the emotions and memories connected to the experiences. It's a defense mechanism that allows people to lead the lives they need to lead until they reach a place and time in which they feel stable and secure, at which point the repressed memories tend to surface and must be worked through. Really overcoming the scars of the past involves accepting the occurrences of one's life and recognizing lessons learned from the experiences and allowing yourself to move on by choosing to be positively affected rather than negatively impacted. We often have no control over the the situations we encounter throughout life, but we do have the ability and option to take control of the end result and decide to make it something that strengthens us. It's all a matter of perspective.
While the past does not define us, it has a hand in shaping us, without it we have no way of knowing who or where we would be and if it would be better or worse than our present selves.

"Had there been any arbitrary turns along the way, I would not be where I am today"

Answer 3

i study psychology in my spare time, and my answer is no,
YOUR PAST DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE, but it does if you let it.

If you are interested in finding out how this elusive claim can be attained i would reccommend two things, ONE: hypnotherapy, dont worry there is plenty of hypnotherapy cds you could try depending on what u want. TWO: one book i would highly reccommend is I'M OK - You're OK by Thomas A. Harris M.D. this book will really help as it is a practical guide on transactional analysis, which explains how to gain control of yourself, relationships and your future NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST!

I know this information is very overwhelming but i know it works as i have dramtically changed my life this year, from being addicted to drink and poor health, to have high acclaim in my film work, with major opportunities coming my way and i am only twenty years of age! GO FOR IT

Answer 4

Scars can be a positive thing giving you a greater ability to empathise with others or watch out for others. I don't expect using them for the good is easy though, but at least you can then live with the knowledge you didn't let the scares ruin your life. I'm not sure forgetting the past is always a good thing...... in fact take no notice i'm not sure about any of it.

Answer 5

The mind is amazingly creative.
So we can reinvent ourselves but..

Events of our personal history shape the way we view ourselves and others and the world in which we live.
The Greeks philosophers stated "a life unexamined is a life not lived"so the experiences of the past are there and they can be put into context of what does it mean to "who I am presently".
It's a question of do I learn? Do I learn from experiences and can I apply my values to my life.
To dismiss or pretend that a past event/s which occurred did not occur is a form of personal denial..what wrong with "knowing the truth and it will set you free"

Answer 6

its said that the way we act in the past is a very good indicator of how we will react in the future
I dont know if we can overcome the scars of our past and act differently, I only know that I have never acted differently even though I know Im reacting my past when I do it. Knowing why we do things and changing how we do things are very differnt things in my experience

Answer 7

when you say past does that mean as you grow older and look for work then the answer could be yes if you have a criminal record that from the past its there for the employer to see no exam results then that stands against you as well so yes in many cases the past can determine your future.

Answer 8

I don't think so. I believe that every experience has the power to change you. However, it's whether you let it affect you in a negative or positive way that really matters.

I also believe that it's wrong to blame your current behaviour on what's happened to you in the past, i.e. I beat my kids because my parents beat me - is a crap excuse.

Answer 9

I believe so.

It takes a lot of strength to live through the bad times and if you can come out on the other side, then you will always carry that strength with you. Anything is obtainable if you can learn to utilise that stength .

Answer 10

a scar is permanent, it all depends on how you choose to view that scar. it is possible to overcome your past but your past is what has made you what you are. Its a choice to let those scars ruin your life just as it's a choice to let them make you stronger. good luck to you